Fostering for Adoption

[cutelife79]

Hi,

wondered if I could get people's thoughts. We recently been approved for adoption at panel and on the day were told to seriously consider fostering for Adoption route as well. Does anyone have any experience of it? Didn't think at the time to ask..but do you have to go through a separate process for it or can you just tell your sw of your interest and then what? Are we allowed to just approach different LA about it and ask them to give us consideration if such an instance arises? Any advice, ideas, information and real experiences would be appreciated!

[Somemothers]

I was a foster carer for over 7 years and did 0-5 so moved a fair few babies on and I was on the floor with the grief of it having a baby then having to move it in when you know it's not staying and having it form birth let alone doing that when your expecting it to stay with the added pressure of Everyone you know people on your street asking were your baby is if if gose wrong.


Also the other question is in your Heart of herts do you think you could give a honest Critic of the BP knowing so much is at stake you will be expected to do contact which is god awful and desprate sometime and will be asked for your views on how it went sometimes even expect to host contact


Also their is the very real but hushed issue of placing a child who their is no real chance of staying in other terms useing you as a straight foster carer as less children are getting adoption orders it will follow the FC system will get backed up and ss will feel pressure to make unstuible matches their was a lady on here that happend to I do believe she spent 2 years from birth with this child only to realise their was never any real chance of her becoming this child's mother so her two choices allow the child to be moved or stay on as their foster parent

Personally I would not do it this is coming from someone who fostered for 7 years and now has adopted
The risks are to high espically in this climet of ss not going for placement orders

[Velvet1973]

Hi, we are currently doing a f2a. We didn't have to go through a separate approval just advise we wanted to be approved for it at the same time. Our situation is very unusual in that there were delays with lo having the court agreement in place for f2a so he was only placed with us after the placement order had been issued. So we are currently fostering until we can get to a matching panel in February. I really thought we could cope with things if they had gone the other way but facing got lo with us now I really don't think we could have done.

[RaspberrySnowCone]

We were asked about this and felt the same as Nottinghill1. There's just no way I would be able to cope with all that time bonding from birth only for them to be taken away. We couldn't do it and a clear no but aren't asking for a young baby anyway so they didn't particularly push.

[hopefullmama]

I'm a Foster carer. Not sure in practical terms of what would happen, but in emotional terms, as an approved adopter, you could have a baby placed with you from birth. On the plus side, you would bond and love that child, with the hope that you get to adopt it, and it would also bond with you. You would have to take the child to contact sessions with the parents, so you would build up a professional relationship with them. Contact can and is frequently very stressful, especially as baby gets older, and doesn't want to go to them. At the end of the day, social services make recommendations to the court, i.e. child would be better placed for adoption, but the judge has the final decision, and the child could go to a birth parent (or family member). Its one of the hardest things to do as a foster carer, letting a child go that you have loved and cared for, for years in some cases. Personally, I would think it would be even harder for an adopter to do, because you have gone into it hoping to adopt. As a foster carer we know that it is a temporary placement, and the child will be moving on eventually. I would like to think that the children placed with "foster to adopt", would be ones with a pretty high chance of not going back to the parent, but its a risk that you would have to bear in mind.

[BertieBotts]

There was a thread discussing this the other day, it went in other directions too but interesting: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2258216-To-not-understand-why-babies-cant-go-straight-to-adoptive-families

There is a lot of focus on "what if the birth parents change their mind or change their lifestyle and get the baby back" but it would be worth asking how often this actually happens. Obviously it would be devastating if that happened but maybe the best thing for the child... it would depend if you could take that angle from it, I suppose. Fostering is such a different thing to adoption.

[Nottinghill1]

I know that I couldn't personally do foster to adopt,I would worry myself silly that the child would go back home. I don't know how we'd all cope with that once you bond with a child.