We're adopting a 10 month old boy - what do we need to buy?!

[HGrace]

Hi I'm new to mumsnet. We've been matched with a 10 month old boy and he's moving in in about a month's time! We're starting from scratch...what are the must-haves for looking after a boy of his age? Any top-tips for making things simpler also appreciated!

Picture books!

Muslins. A pack of these from mothercare will be so useful: wiping faces, being used as a bib, sunshade over the pushchair, etc etc. They last forever, so when your kid gets older, you can tie one around his neck when he's eating spaghetti!

Good luck OP, and enjoy your son.

Papoozle slings are designed for up to 2 years old - 10 months no problem!

Thanks for the link about slings Pottering...I'll take a look now!

Wheat wonderful news! Bet you're so excited!

Non slip mat for the bath
Baby toiletries - toothbrush, toothpaste, shampoo. (There's much nicer stuff than Johnsons available).

I have nothing to add to your list but would like to say congratulations and good luck.
What you are doing is truly amazing and I wish you all the happiness in the world.

I think some of those clay hand prints would be a lovely keepsake, ok you won't have them from birth but if your ds is anything like me he will be so pleased he has some baby memories.
Stupid I know, but it always bothered me that I had nothing from being born. Mum and Dad kept lots of things from when they adopted me and it made the world of difference when older.
I hope this helps a bit

Brilliant. Nothing to add to others' suggestions but I have two DS and they were ace at 10 months. Having said that they get better with age too! Be prepared because boys get very obsessed with things. We've had Thomas the tank Engine, Ben 10, Power Rangers, Match Attax, Football, Rugby and Cricket. It could be anything though. Maybe yours will be able to spot the make of a car from half a mile away!
Best of luck and enjoy

Fisher price walker -DD loves hers
Toys
Books
Ball
Teething stuff - like gel, powder, and teethers
Clothes and changing stuff
Pushchair and highchair
Bibs
Baby food or finger foods
Baby food snacks

Don't buy many toys, you will get given lots. Ditto clothes. Wait and see what he brings with him from the FC

Make sure he's not over stimulated -moving to yours will be very stressful and upsetting to him, he doesn't need lots of noisy busy toys too .

You don't need lots of formula, he'll soon be one. But you need bottles ( even if he's off them at the FC ) as they are good for bonding.

Car seat -find out what kid he uses at FC . You need the kind that can be rear facing now and forward facing later. If you have two cars you need one for each, they are very heavy to move.

( You need to be care ful of your back, as you haven't had months to get used to carry a smaller then bigger baby . )

Bedding -you might get given some by FC, or you can offer to give her some new stuff in exchange for hers. Use the same laundry powder and conditioner -smell is very important to babies .

Don't take him to any baby /toddler groups or classes -he needs to bond with you. He need quiet days at home with mum ( and/or dad ) and lots of routine. Very few visitors ( close friends and family only ) .

Bathing -get FC to show you how she does it and do the same. Don't buy mats /seats until you have spoken to her

Definitely look into local groups, baby and toddler groups that you can go both go to. You'll both want to get out,

If you have a local library, don't buy any picture books. Trip to library is ideal quiet activity for you and baby.

Go easy on the DVDs /TV watching as well. Fine for a bio child who has had more than a year to bond to his parents. Not for a newly adopted baby. It's too stimulating and stressful .

Just to reinterate -no to toddler groups for newly adopted child , at least for the first 6 months.

The posters who are suggesting this mean well I'm sure, but they are speaking from their experience of giving birth to a newborn, not adopting a 10 month old ( in fact will be nearly one when you bring him home )

True hence why I've not recommended sling meet.

How exciting !
Probably feels a bit overwhelming but, all he really needs is feeding, warmth and love.
Everything else will fall into place !
And the gifts.... Lots and lots of gifts

If you have a local sling meet it might be an idea to go before he comes as you can usually try things out with a weighted doll. At 10 months he'll still be small enough to go on your front to begin with but it might be difficult to get him on your back. Smaller babies lie still and older ones hold on. At his age they tend to panic and shriek a lot which makes you panic! I would recommend a normal sling, either a structured one like the Boba or Patapum (make sure you buy toddler size) or a Mei Tai for going on your front now and your back later, and a ring sling or something like the Babasling (which I usually hate) for hip carries which you can scoot around onto your back to get him used to the idea of back carrying before he gets to tall to see over on your front!

If adopted children find groups etc hard at first then I would say go with the simplest sling you can find unless you have a "sling consultant" near you who will come and do a one to one. There's no point spending out a lot on something you can't use, but slings are great and should really help attachment. At 10 months though you can't use the ones from Mothercare, John Lewis etc as they just won't be supportive enough.

KristinaM is right - I have a birth ds so I could be giving bad advice about groups. Is that standard advice? I wouldn't have coped with no groups at that stage for a week - let alone 6 months. Is making me think.

Pica -the no groups thing is standard advice for adopted children , who have all been traumatised by several moves of carer. Not remotely applicable to birth children, don't worry !

Slings will be wonderful for attachment if your back can cope. I guess you will have to build up time in the sling, because you don't have the luxury of starting with an 8lb er . Though hopefully the assessment, approval and matching won't have the same effect on your back as pregnancy and breast feeding!

I would say don't buy a lot in advance.

You really don't know what you will need. If he is crawling, pulling up, close to walking, you will need to toddler-proof your place so you can relax with him at home. If he is not really mobile at all, it will be a different ball game.

Agree on the formula. Really not necessary for a nearly one year old, although you will want to continue the same brand of formula as the FC uses for a while for continuity. Don't get too caught up in the "normal" milestones such as no bottles beyond age one. Your bonding with the baby via lovely cosy bottle feeding is more important than some guidance regarding milk from bottles potentially damaging teeth.

I would agoid buying all toys, especially electronic ones / vTech ones. They will annoy the hell out of you during a time which might potentially be stressful, they are not educational and you will want to spend lots and lots of close time with your baby. You won't be wanting to "distract" him with gadgets, you will want to forge your own special relationship with him over time.

Sling is a great plan. Better than pram for bonding, but at nearly one if he's not used to it, it might be hard. Make sure you get a really decent sling. I used a Baby Buddha sling and loved it (had three in the end!) but the choice of sling is a very personal one. Lots of people swear by the Ergo for bigger babies, it's more like a rucksack than a soft sling, but might suit a one year old just starting to be worn.

Congratulations.

www.babybuddha.ca

These slings were fab.

If you have a local library, don't buy any picture books. Trip to library is ideal quiet activity for you and baby.

Argh, no! Both! If you can afford it, picture books at home are great, as well as picture books in the library! My DS had both - loved the library, but loved his favourite books at home, too. He kept his favourite picture books to read as well as proper novels well past the time when he would have taken them out of the library!

Money spent on books - if you are able to - is never money wasted.

I don't know about other sling consultants, but I know in the north east our local lovely lady will do home visits for adoptive parents so they can have all the advice without needing to visit the library / attend sling meets etc.

It might be worth finding out where he's up to developmentally if you can, some are walking by 10 months, some are only just crawling. At DC1's 1st birthday party there were some from my NCT group who were walking, some only just bum shuffling.

Baby proof your kitchen/bathroom/life anyway! Get on your hands and knees, look round, what's at your eye level you can see. Remember, a toilet brush is just about the most interesting thing in the world... (second only to the sky remote)

Re the sling, it might also be worth asking if he's been in one before, not all DCs like them by that age, if he's not been in a sling, it might be a waste of money to try to get him in one. (and he'll be heavy, so make sure it's one that spreads the weight well)

Also the bedding, some DCs like sheets and old fashioned bedding, some like sleeping bags, personally I'd go for the bags, but if he's not used to them, it might be a problem. Black out blinds for his room is a very good idea.

Dummies, bottles, sterliser (get a cheap tommy tippy microwave one, you won't be using it for long) formula (find out what he's currently using). Yes, they don't really need formula after 12 months, but I think for 'comfort' it might be worth keeping as much 'normal' as possible.

Have you got a changing bag? (worth spending a bit more, it'll be your handbag for the next 18months after all...) Nappies, wipes, put wipes in every room...

Stair gates (DD was climbing stairs at 11months, a lot can do it before then, either way, you've not got long!)

Buggy wise, I would aim for rear facing, particularly given you're going to want to be making sure you get lots of eye contact and can 'chat' as you're walking along.

oh and toys wise, you'll be getting your little boy in the summer, I'd say if you have space for it in your garden, a sandpit and/or water table would be good, a crawl tunnel, a bubble machine.

I really can't believe how generous you have all been with your advice and suggestions! I can't thank you all enough. It's really helping me to get into 'the zone' and to think about what needs thinking about!!!! What stars you are :)

As a result of what some of you have suggested I think I have settled on a Boba 3g sling...unless any of you know different?? eg is it worth paying extra for the Boba 4g?