We are newish adopters to a young child, so have not had some of the challenges that may occur as she gets older. We both feel it was the right decision for us now but it took a long time to get to the same point for us. We had no birth children due to infertility (discovered 8 years ago) and my DH said he had 'put away' the idea of having children. I thought I had, then in my forties realised I had not. So initially it was me that started the conversation around adoption, DH was afraid of rocking the boat. Eventually we both got to a place, where it felt it was the right thing to investigate, with lots of promises to each other that if either of us wanted to pull out, then we would stop with no blame attached. Easy words, so hard to do. The prep classes and home study were great, it was after this it got difficult, I developed what I can only describe as stage fright, I found looking at children's profiles very difficult, how would we know which was 'the one', I began to doubt my ability to parent any child. By this point my DH was very keen and understandably perplexed and frustrated by my cold feet. We eventually took a 10 month time out from the matching process to start new jobs and move house. When we started back up I had rediscovered my self belief and we were matched with the first profile we saw. Our daughter moved in 9 months ago and became legal last week!
So I would say it is entirely normal to be nervous and have doubts and fears, you would not be human otherwise. I let my fears overcome me for a while and my DH and I would often wonder when we would find ourselves on the same page emotionally regarding adoption.
BTW my fears have come true, I am in my mid forties with a toddler, so am perpetually knackered, I wonder if I will ever be able to return to the job I loved, we have no family near so limited with baby sitters, we have not been out as a couple since DD arrived, DD likes to disturb our sleep but can't tell us what the problem is! None of this will be news to any new parent. Writing this is making me laugh, because none of it matters, I was prepared for it to be hard, but totally unprepared for the feelings of love I would have for this little person. It is really important to be honest about adoption and potential difficulties, and these may be ahead of us, but before taking the plunge it was impossible (for me anyway) to know how it would feel to gradually fall in love with this little person.
Another aspect of being a parent, is that it opens up other avenues of life and experience, so whilst some doors close, others open. Is that not the nature of life though?
So for us, no regrets. It's taken almost 4 years to get to this point. I know it's a cliche but I do feel my life is more meaningful and has more purpose.