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As a guest, what's the stingiest thing you've ever experienced?

1000 replies

Marssuri · 28/03/2024 16:01

Just that!
I'll start

I invited friends for dinner at mine. I made traditional dishes from where I'm from, sausage rougail, chicken cari and dessert.

A few days later they text me telling me to come to theirs for some food at dinner time.

I show up and bring a small jar of chilli peppers. One of the people who invited me goes "is that all you're going to eat?". I was confused and asked what they meant. They replied "It's everyone brings their own food."
I told them I thought they had invited me for dinner and they go "yes, we invited you to come to the house for dinner!".
They saw my face and said "don't worry, we can share some food with you!" before cutting a couple of raw carrots, aubergines, cherry tomatoes with some white sauce and putting them in the middle of the table.
They then served each other the meal they had made for themselves and digged in.

Note from MNHQ - we've had lots of nominations for this thread to be moved over to Mumsnet Classics and, as we're very generous hosts, we've done exactly this.

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 28/03/2024 16:02

People are so weird honestly

We went to a friends house with a bottle of wine, we all drank the wine and then when they said what else would I like to drink, I said more wine please and they replied they had none and I could have squash or milk. Like I’m an 8 year old.

caffelattetogo · 28/03/2024 16:08

Went to inlaws overnight (at their insistence) while heavily pregnant. At dinner, they served me a half portion (apparently pregnant women have no space in their body for more food) and breakfast in the morning was half a bagel each. SILS pre-teen kids came round and were given a full, cooked breakfast (boys have big appetites, apparently). I had to stop on the way home for food. I've never stayed again.

Feelslikeeverest · 28/03/2024 16:09

This wasn't me but my aunt would regularly go from the North to the south of England to help my cousin out with her children, my aunt's grandchildren. My cousin and her husband are very well off and have great jobs and will go on lots of holidays, many without the kids during which time my aunt and uncle would go down and watch the kids. My aunt would never ask for a penny as she loves the time with the kids. One time they had just been taking care of the kids for 10 days while my cousin and her husband were on a luxury holiday in the Maldives. When they got back my aunt overheard my cousin's husband, her son-in-law, complaining to my cousin about how many tea bags my aunt and uncle had used in the 10 days they had been watching the children! Since then she still watches the kids but brings her own tea bags.

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Marssuri · 28/03/2024 16:16

Feelslikeeverest · 28/03/2024 16:09

This wasn't me but my aunt would regularly go from the North to the south of England to help my cousin out with her children, my aunt's grandchildren. My cousin and her husband are very well off and have great jobs and will go on lots of holidays, many without the kids during which time my aunt and uncle would go down and watch the kids. My aunt would never ask for a penny as she loves the time with the kids. One time they had just been taking care of the kids for 10 days while my cousin and her husband were on a luxury holiday in the Maldives. When they got back my aunt overheard my cousin's husband, her son-in-law, complaining to my cousin about how many tea bags my aunt and uncle had used in the 10 days they had been watching the children! Since then she still watches the kids but brings her own tea bags.

That's sad! Your poor aunt

OP posts:
BlackScreen · 28/03/2024 16:17

In our culture its actually shameful to be stingy. If we have a bbq, each neighbour gets a plate ran over to their house. Even a quick visit, we'll feed people. My friend (not from my culture) used to sleepiver at my house alot and one morning I had an early shift so assumed she'd leave when she woke. I came home to her sitting on the sofa surrounded by plates of food that my parents had made. I used to have to ASK for a glass of tap water at her house, her and her siblings also used to physically fight over who drank a sip of whose coke in the fridge or who had a packet of their crisps. I never once ate at her house, she'd excuse herself if we were in her room to eat and come back up after...

Walkingwashingmachine · 28/03/2024 16:22

I think in most cultures its embarrassing to be stingy. OP your post is mad!! I hope you aren't ever going back. Or if you are, bring a huge 5 course meal with cheeseboard for yourself and let them watch you eat it.

LutonBeds · 28/03/2024 16:23

When I was younger we’d visit friends of my parents (actually just my DM, DF couldn’t stand them) who had a DD about my age (7/8). They always served very stingy portions of salad. Me, my DB and their DD used to be given one bag of crisp from a multipack to share.

They were well off, just tight. The mum used to buy us easter eggs once they had gone in the sale so when we got them (the following year) they’d be out of date.

Mrsjayy · 28/03/2024 16:28

A bbq that had loads of booze and a tiny bit of chicken it was like a goujan and a burger it was .awful I was starving and drunk by 2pm tbf the latter was my fault bur the lack of food didn't help!

BreadInCaptivity · 28/03/2024 16:36

Slightly similar to the OP.

I enjoy cooking and we had hosted an old friend of DH's and his new wife that have recently moved near to us. 3 course meal - put a lot of effort in. DH bought in loads of nice expensive wine.

They arrived empty handed which should have been a sign....

They invited us to theirs about 6 weeks later and handed us a takeaway menu to order from and asked what drinks we would like as they would stop off at Asda on the way back from the takeaway as they had nothing in.

Okay - a bit odd but not everyone likes to cook.....but a bit annoying to have to wait for something to drink...

End of the night and we were asked to hand over £100 to pay for the food and drink...(no way did it cost that much).

No we didn't pay. We laughed and I gave them a rundown on how much hosting them had cost - significantly more than £100 btw.

Then walked out and blocked them.

SingingSands · 28/03/2024 16:36

When we used to go and stay at in-laws, MIL would empty the bathroom before we arrived. So no toothpaste, shower gel, shampoo etc. literally just toilet roll and hand soap.

Isseywith3witchycats · 28/03/2024 16:36

Not at a friends or relatives house but a guest house in Ireland, my brother got married in Dublin so me my 2 sisters mom and brother booked a B&B for the weekend just outside of there, we left Birmingham airport at 6am and by the time we got to the B&B it was mid afternoon, the landlady said as we came in to book in if you want a cup of tea or coffee theres a cafe up the road, now we are Brummies so the kettle goes on before your fully through the door we looked at each other in utter astonishment so much for Irish hospitality

transplantplant · 28/03/2024 16:36

kinda reverse here but a friend came to stay with me for "a few days" and ended up staying two weeks. After about a week he went to buy bread (first thing he had bought) and bought me and my kid a cheap supermarket loaf and then said that we weren't allowed any of his expensive bakery bread! And also, divided up a brownie on a digital scale to the gram to ensure he and my kid had exactly the same quantity. I was pretty offended TBH.

MurderousCheekbones · 28/03/2024 16:38

Went to a friends two-day wedding which meant three nights in a hotel, plus outfits, a gift, spending money etc. Cost us about a grand.

Went for a meal after the wedding, and when the bill came we were all handed the menu and asked to work out our own contribution. They never even bought anyone a drink.

shellyleppard · 28/03/2024 16:39

Singingsands....wtaf???? That's beyond tight 😧

shellyleppard · 28/03/2024 16:41

When my mum first moved down south from Scotland they stayed at her aunt's house for a few weeks. She was so tight she used to put a fork in the sugar bowl instead of a teaspoon 😂

NearlyBritishSummertimeYay · 28/03/2024 16:41

SingingSands · 28/03/2024 16:36

When we used to go and stay at in-laws, MIL would empty the bathroom before we arrived. So no toothpaste, shower gel, shampoo etc. literally just toilet roll and hand soap.

@SingingSands a bit weird, but I'd take my own bathroom products anyway. I like my own brands.

LanahLane · 28/03/2024 16:44

Christmas Eve, lunchtime. We went to my parents, with my grown up DC’s and their partners.

Presents to deliver, including my gift to my parents of a ‘hamper’ (about £150 worth of food, including many Christmas treats).

DM served us a cup of tea and set out a plate, centrally on the table, containing….one mince pie each…

Screamingabdabz · 28/03/2024 16:44

I’m amazed at the sheer amount of people who are not ashamed in the least to be utterly tight. Normal nice people who turn utterly weird and insufferable the minute they have to pay for something or even pay their share or round of drinks. I’m fascinated at the sheer audacity of it and how much other people actually pander to it.

Allthegoodnamesarechosen · 28/03/2024 16:45

Famous story about a theatrical boarding house:

At breakfast with the toast , there was a very small spoonful of honey on a plate in the middle for everyone to ‘share’ . One of the guests ( famous Scots comedian) looked at it and said ‘ I see you keep a Bee’.

bluebird3 · 28/03/2024 16:47

Whenever we stop by my uncles he insists we stay for dinner. He likes to serve one grocery store frozen pizza to be shared between all of us - 3 adults and 2 children. He puts extra cheese on it so apparently it's very filling.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 28/03/2024 16:47

We went to a wedding party that we had to travel to, bought gifts, taxis there and back etc, buy drinks and outfits, and they served no food. There were cupcakes. (And we had to go because it was my husbands brother and his new wife).

this is the same sister in law that left my 40th (where there was ample, lovely food and drink all provided) to go and get a McDonald’s because they live too far in the sticks to be able to get just eat delivered.

I will not ever forget either. 🤣

Snoopystick · 28/03/2024 16:47

Being invited to Sunday lunch by friends and then it being delivered by the local pub and it was £10 each. We’ve had the same family over to ours for loads of meals and never had takeout or expected them to pay for anything. I’ve learnt now and ask them to bring a pudding anytime they come over now.

ChoccieEgg49 · 28/03/2024 16:49

An ex once bought me a bottle of perfume for Christmas- the perfume was half used and the box tatty and ripped. He said 'a bloke at the gym was selling it'.
I was utterly shocked, I'd just spent over £150 on him and his son. Thankfully his was an experience day which I promptly cancelled when I returned home and got a refund 😂 he was dumped very shortly after!

Highfivemum · 28/03/2024 16:50

Some of these are terrible.
my family and I invited to a BBQ. The invitees had been at my house the previous week for a BBQ and we had pulled out all stops. Had two bottles of wine and a box of chocolates ( they had brought nothing to mine). On route they text can I stop and get some bread rolls on route and some sauces. So we did. The BBQ consisted of chicken legs and a couple of those tinned hot dogs. Enough for one leg and one hot dog each. No salad or anything. They both drank our wine and we had a huge jug of tap water. Pudding you guessed it was the chocolates I bought. !! And yes they were very rich friends.

RampantIvy · 28/03/2024 16:57

I told them I thought they had invited me for dinner and they go "yes, we invited you to come to the house for dinner!".

At which point I would have said "you should have said it was a bring your own. I'm off home"

In our culture its actually shameful to be stingy
I think in most cultures its embarrassing to be stingy

I agree that being stingy is an extremely unattractive personality trait.

I have just googled thos recipes @Marssuri and love the sound of the sausage rougail. Google won't find chicken cari, it defaults to chicken curry. Do you have a recipe please?

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