Mobile phone for 9yo (Please read before judging)

[PhoneForSchool]

They’re going to be 9 soon and go into Year 5 at a Middle School in September, so expected to get to and from school themselves.

DC has SN, can’t read very well and struggles with writing/typing and processing. I will be walking with them for the first half term, but they’re pushing against this due to friends getting themselves to school (they’re struggling with their SN at the minute something both First and Middle Schools are trying to help with but DC is very resentful of it and the differences between them and their friends/peers)

So I want a phone for them. Nothing like the latest Iphone/Samsung but a basic smart phone, ideally that I can prevent numbers being added or prevent DC being called without my permission – they literally will need my number and the number for ExH (their dad) because he works half along the route to the middle school DC is likely to go to so could help if they got a bit stuck.

Also don’t want a contract.

So

• Basic Smart Phone with a sim
  
• Approval from me/ExH for numbers to be added
  
• Only those with the number can call/text it
  
• PAYG
  
  Does such a thing exist? I am loathed to give a phone this young, I was hoping to put it off for another 1-2 years but due to the school system here I feel I have no choice.

[InsufficientMum]

My DC has an old iPhone. Until this week. She's had communication limits on so only I can add contacts to it. You can also set it to only allow communication with contacts. She's had this on until now. I assume it has worked, but would have no way of knowing as I don't know of anyone who has tried to call her.

[InsufficientMum]

oh, and we switched to a contract as the basic payg data allowance wasn't enough to keep the tracking on.

[InsufficientMum]

Have you considered a smart watch with a sim? A lot of children at my godson's school use those - can call parents, track them, not a phone. They're not permitted at DD's school though.

[Ellie1015]

We have a watch for my 7 year old. Spacetalk. I can see where he is. Limited numbers that have to be added by parents (5 I think). Might be a solution.

[EarlofShrewsbury]

Like others have said, you might find a smart watch with a sim better for your needs than a phone

[Oncetheystartschool]

I also agree a smart watch will work for you. My eldest DC has an Xplora watch with a £5/month PAYG sim.

We control the numbers stored on the watch and there's a parent app for messaging and location tracking. It can be put into school mode on a timer so DC can only use it before/after school and during lunch break.

[JoanThursday]

@InsufficientMum

oh, and we switched to a contract as the basic payg data allowance wasn't enough to keep the tracking on.

Agree with this. We went for a contract with Tesco Mobile. It costs £7.50 a month with a brand new Motorola (albeit relatively basic).

We can bolt on extra data when needed (eg when on hols with no wifi).

We now have two tesco mobile contracts, which means we can pick a 'perk' for each one, eg free extra data, discount on the monthly fee and there are a couple of others.

[TitaniasAss]

@InsufficientMum

Have you considered a smart watch with a sim? A lot of children at my godson's school use those - can call parents, track them, not a phone. They're not permitted at DD's school though.

Lots of schools won't allow these - I work in a middle school and our kids are not allowed them.

[Celeryfavour]

Why are they expected to get to and from school by themselves? I know you said they want to.

[PhoneForSchool]

@InsufficientMum

Have you considered a smart watch with a sim? A lot of children at my godson's school use those - can call parents, track them, not a phone. They're not permitted at DD's school though.

@InsufficientMum Smart Watches are banned at both First and Middle Schools. Mobiles are allowed at the Middle School if switched off/on silent and in lockers.

[PhoneForSchool]

@Celeryfavour

Why are they expected to get to and from school by themselves? I know you said they want to.

@Celeryfavour Its the Middle Schools rule that parents don't go on school grounds unless invited by school (i.e. parents evenings, shows etc) so most parents let their children go to and from school alone so DC wants to be like their friends who will be doing this

[reelcat]

Totally normal at this age with the middle school system. I second the £7.50 Tesco contract rather than pay as you go. If you get have an adroid get an android and the parental controls are really easy to set up

[MuggleMe]

I'm in your boat with middle school, my 8yo has asd and dyslexia. There's a slight risk of her bolting if she gets upset while walking with friends so a phone is a must. I'm also planning on getting a apple tag for her bag so even if her phone is out of battery I can locate her.

[PhoneForSchool]

@MuggleMe

I'm in your boat with middle school, my 8yo has asd and dyslexia. There's a slight risk of her bolting if she gets upset while walking with friends so a phone is a must. I'm also planning on getting a apple tag for her bag so even if her phone is out of battery I can locate her.

@MuggleMe Phone is also essential here as DC is likely to get lost or confused so will call me "Where am i?" there's a slight chance they'd walk to ExHs workplace (a supermarket) and ask for him though

[ginslinger]

does it need to be a smartphone? Can't you just go for one of the old dumb phones and just programme your number in and show them how to hit 'go'

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

If he is likely to get lost or wander off to a different place, then phone or not he is not ready for walking himself home after school.

Tough for him that he wants to walk with friends but until he is able to do it competently, he cannot.

[InsufficientMum]

If he is likely to get lost or wander off to a different place,
You can't actually say this until you let them try though. And at some point you have to show them you are willing to trust them.

I think an Air Tag in his coat might be a good back up, but you definitely want a phone you can track.

I would also speak to the school. What is their reaction time for lateness? Ours is 5 minutes. If a child is 5 minutes late, the class teacher calls the parent.
Would they make an exception for a watch on account of his Sn?

Is there an older child walking the same route who could keep an eye on him (this is expected from the older children at our school)?

Can you ask around his friends' parents? Will they let their DC have your number so if he goes off or panics on the way one of them can call you?

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

The OP herself said he is likely to. Not me. I assume she knows her child enough to say that. At some point they do become ready. But it sounds like the core needs for walking home aren't there yet

[MissMaple82]

I still don't understand why they would need a phone.

[MajorCarolDanvers]

My youngest has a refurbished iPhone. Bought from Amazon with 12 month guarantee

Max security settings so I have to approve new apps etc.

I can't stop nos being added but I do check the phone regularly.

I have contract which costs £8 a month and it can't exceed that.

[MissMaple82]

If there's so much risks around him he clearly isn't old enough to be walking to school on his own, regardless of what others are doing, they are not your son!. It's also very very young for a phone and causes problems for the other children/parents.

[IWBYSWM]

Got mine a Blackview smartphone. It was £85 from amazon and came with a protective case. Its just instead of lugging the ipad about so its not got a SIM and connects to my hotspot. ASC/ADHD. Needs must and all that.

I do think you'd be better with either a smartwatch or a brick. Nine is a little young to have unsupervised access to god knows what online. However much we think we can trust our children not to get into danger, peer pressure, trusting natures and curiosity are all factors.

[PhoneForSchool]

@MissMaple82

If there's so much risks around him he clearly isn't old enough to be walking to school on his own, regardless of what others are doing, they are not your son!. It's also very very young for a phone and causes problems for the other children/parents.

@MissMaple82 I agree its young for a phone, but it's the thing round here, most children get a phone for their 9th birthday or the Christmas before they go to Middle School here.

In regards to the walking home, both schools have said not to raise it with DC yet, we've agreed to review it at half term but I will be walking with them until then, both schools are helping DC with mental health issues associated with their opinion of their SN - DC feels very very resentful of their SN to the point that they won't even discuss it at all which causes bigger issues than getting a phone would.

[PhoneForSchool]

@IWBYSWM

Got mine a Blackview smartphone. It was £85 from amazon and came with a protective case. Its just instead of lugging the ipad about so its not got a SIM and connects to my hotspot. ASC/ADHD. Needs must and all that.

I do think you'd be better with either a smartwatch or a brick. Nine is a little young to have unsupervised access to god knows what online. However much we think we can trust our children not to get into danger, peer pressure, trusting natures and curiosity are all factors.

@IWBYSWM My concern is making them feel even more isolated and different to their peers and them becoming even more of a risk with their SN. From speaking to the parents of classmates many of the children in the class now have or will be getting a basic smart phone.

[PhoneForSchool]

I will repeat again, Smart Watches are banned, neither school will compromise on this because it's a distraction in lessons.

Phones are banned at First School but allowed at Middle School either on silent/switched off and unseen in lockers or handed in to front desk in the morning in a named envelope.