Please help - 1 day old newborn

[Clustertimeagain]

I'm quite used to long term sleep deprivation as my now preschooler woke every 15-40 mins for months and didn't sleep through until recently. I breastfed DC1 too and remember the sleepless newborn days etc etc and know they are par for the course

For a completely unrelated and unfortunately timed reason the first night and then with labour the next and first night with baby on ward last night I think I've managed less than 1-2 hours broken sleep per night (/per 24 hours) for the last 3 nights and I'm in so much pain with stitches and after pains

Baby has been cluster feeding for 3.5 hours now, and it's still day 1 so just colostrum. Latch looks and feels good, Can hear swallowing, she's thrown up some a few times and seems plenty, several wet and dirty nappies since she was born last night. Have also given hand expressed colostrum

Is this normal cluster feeding or is she actually not getting enough after all? I can't put her down as she bites her hands and cries and gives feeding signals until I put her back on, this also happens if I simply cuddle her and rock her

I thought I was good with no sleep but I absolutely have to now. I don't know what to do. DH has DC1 and is doing a great job there as also a terrible sleeper

[Clustertimeagain]

The crying is good really though as keeping me awake!

[PickAChew]

If you're all awake, anyhow, can't dh bring dc1 to sit with you?

[ClaireP20]

She isn't just feeding, she is seeking comfort. That's why she is attached. She needs to smell you and be near you. Isn't that wonderful? Right now, you are the only person in the world she needs.
Well done for breastfeeding x

[ClaireP20]

@Clustertimeagain

Thank you. We're home now. DH is with DC1 who is confused and missing me and if he leaves her all hell will break loose all round

I felt like we were doing well and all in control but now I can't stop crying. I miss DD1 so much and I just don't know how it's all going to work

I can't get formula tonight but not adverse to odd top up. I could try a frozen colostrum syringe?

You don't need to top up. They have tiny tummys. You are providing everything it's been one day. It's all very new. Your DD1 is fine and you sound like a wonderful mum.

Now turn off your phone...x

[HornbeamLane]

My little one is 5 months old now and cluster fed for the first few days until my milk came in. In fact i hardly remember her being off the boob at all.
I think it's totally normal. I had the same and didn't sleep really at all until around day 5. I hope that helps

[SomethingOnce]

Hormonal readjustments and that little sleep will make a gal cry. It’ll all settle down, but will feel much better with some solid sleep. Can DH oversee co-sleeping if that strikes the balance between baby’s needs and your own?

In my experience, learning to juggle two DC is a bit of a challenge, but you get there. How old is DC1?

[Brenna24]

My DD was born with low blood sugars and struggled to feed for the first few days. It was really obvious that she was poorly with hunger as she didn't cry, didn't give feeding cues. She just wanted to sleep. I think that cluster feeding at this stage is normal and if your baby is crying and feeding well then they might be super hungry or in need of comfort but they definitely aren't dangerously underfed. If your husband is on toddler watch tonight and you think that you will manage to stay awake enough not to be dangerous I would rude out the night and get him to take both out for a while tomorrow morning to let you sleep. If you feel dangerously tired right now then I would go through to them or get them to come to you and he will have to be on toddler watch and watch you while you sleep and feed. Then tomorrow he takes them out while you get a good sleep. 1 syringe of frozen colostrum won't harm either..

[Lalliella]

DD (my second baby) was like this. She was big (9.5lb) and very hungry and colostrum just didn’t cut it with her. The first 3 days were a nightmare, I hardly slept and I’d lost a lot of blood and felt pretty shit. She was crying and wanted feeding all the time. Day 4 my milk came in and what a transformation! She’d sleep 3 hours at a time, wake for a feed (I’d make sure if was a big one) and nod off again! Hope it will be the same for you OP.

[BlackeyedSusan]

Mine chewed my boobs to shreds. Formula feed got me over the pain as each side got a 12 hour rest by day 3. Once healed increased bf and they went onto feed for a further 2.5 years.

Try breast if possible, but all is not lost if you do need formula. Was recommended by GP for baby 1.

Be aware of the cluster feeds that will come again for three days or so just before a growth spurt. They were hell.

Incidentally we are having a repeat of the feeding every hour growth spurt phase, 12 years on, with added swearing, late nights and grumpiness. Back to keeping me awake at night!.

[Caterina99]

No advice with the feeding Op, but your post takes me back to the utter exhaustion and loneliness of the first couple of days (nights) with DC2. DC1 I don’t even remember as it was such a blur.

Honestly I cried so much. Wished she wasn’t born because I was just so tired and she would only stop crying with boob. Presumably I got through it and she’s 3 now. Hopefully your DH can take baby for a little bit so you can rest soon. Good luck!

[Caterina99]

Sorry I’m sure that’s not particularly helpful reading back! I just meant that it’s normal and you are completely exhausted and it will get better!!!!

And also yes both of mine had some formula when newborn to give me a break. Didn’t affect breastfeeding

[Nat6999]

Have you got a firm memory foam pillow? I used to co sleep with ds as a newborn on a memory foam pillow laid lengthways between mine & my husband's pillows, that way there was no chance of him suffocating or overheating with the duvet, I covered him up with a cellular blanket folded in half & a crib sheet, he was kept warm with heat from both of us & was easy to pick up for feeding. It was the only way he would sleep for the first weeks. My midwife told me to keep him in the light during the day, even for sleeping & only in a dark room at night & if he needed feeding at night to keep it as dark & quiet as I could manage, no fuss, just feed, change if needed & put back to sleep. Have you tried a dummy, give it after feeds as the sucking reflex helps them sleep. I know you are BF, but could your husband look after baby after feeds so you can try to get some sleep, even if you take it in shifts, he could gently wake you enough for a feed & then take baby for winding & changing if needed so you can go back to sleep. This will pass, sleep deprivation is awful but you will get past this.

[MessAllOver]

Sounds like you need to sleep. You are not a robot.

If you are so tired that you can't safely care for baby, give her to your DH and ask him to give a bottle of formula while you sleep. Either that or to watch you both so you can co-sleep/feed safely.

You're doing great, but don't collapse or put baby in danger to avoid feeding formula. A safe and fed baby is best. You can sort everything else out later.

[Toddlerteaplease]

Congratulations OP.
Please don't co sleep with a one day old baby when you are so tired.

[mangoandraspberries]

This is normal I think - I have a 3 month old and I remember he fed almost non stop for the first 3 nights - I think because my milk didn’t come in until then and the sucking helps it to come in. Mine stopped doing that around day 4 when my milk came in and started sleeping in 3 or 4 hour chunks. It’s exhausting, but they are so new, enjoy it while it lasts, mine is already growing up too fast!!

[mangoandraspberries]

Agree getting your DP to hold her for a few hours may get you some much needed sleep. I personally wouldn’t cosleep with such a tiny baby, but I know others have will have done it safely.

[mangoandraspberries]

Or try sleeping during the day/early evening if your DP is able to look after the baby then

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I co slept. My did slept inside my maternity nightdresses in just a nappy. I then wore warm clothes / dressing gown and had the duvet up to my waist. I don’t remember having the feeding issues you had. Dd wasn’t a terribly hungry baby. You sound really exhausted. Hopefully your milk will come through soon. Such a magical time for you. Bless.

[Crustmasiscoming]

The behaviour sounds totally normal to me.

Doesn't make it any easier on you though. Please make sure that you make your own sleep a priority.

You will cope absolutely fine with both kids. It's just all hitting you in the face right now because you've just given birth and you've not slept properly.

I would give baby to DH so you can go and have a couple of hours of proper sleep. He can cope with both of them for a couple of hours

[Dinosauraddict]

Congrats. You can do this, and this is completely normal. I remember how hard those first few days were though.

[Littlegoth]

I’m speaking from recent experience and going to disagree with people saying don’t give formula. If you think baby needs a small amount to tide over then do it.

By day 3 my baby had lost 14% of his weight and became very ill with dehydration, jaundice and too high heart rate. I wish I had given formula, but I was following midwives telling me to just keep putting baby to the breast. My hv later advised me that they (hvs) advise newborns should be ‘topped up’ with formula and I wish I’d know this earlier.

[Clustertimeagain]

Thank you all. Feel a bit silly now the sun is coming up. I knew what to expect, had eons of sleepless nights first time round, so don't know why I fell to bits last night! I do feel a bit down still but can see the light (two beautiful children, until last night I was unbelievably happy and know how lucky we are!) and I think it's all just hormones - also worked out a soothing system which meant I got about an hour and a half of sleep between 5-6.30 and that's probably made a difference too!

I may get some formula to hand just in case, I don't think topping up would necessarily disrupt breastfeeding at all as she's latching well (another thing to be grateful for as I remember at this stage I'd have been over the moon with a cluster feeder before when I was desperately trying to figure out latch) but also don't think it will necessarily help as she's so refluxy already

Can't wait to see DC1 when she's up and hopefully spend some time with her too as I've never spent much time away from her at all and always wanted to keep things as normal as possible for her at this time

[PickAChew]

Aww, everything seems bleaker at night

[Ohalrightthen]

@Mummyoflittledragon

I co slept. My did slept inside my maternity nightdresses in just a nappy. I then wore warm clothes / dressing gown and had the duvet up to my waist. I don’t remember having the feeding issues you had. Dd wasn’t a terribly hungry baby. You sound really exhausted. Hopefully your milk will come through soon. Such a magical time for you. Bless.

I'm sorry, but that is absolutely not safe at all. I'm so, so glad no harm came to your baby, but you must not recommend this to other mothers! If cosleeping, the baby should be on their back on a firm mattress, covered with a blanket of their own or a sleeping bag, well away from pillows, covers or any fabric items such as a nightie or dressing gown. Please, if you're going to cosleep again, look into the Safe Sleep Seven, as the way you did it puts your baby at completely unnecessary risk.

[SomethingOnce]

Morning, OP. Glad you’re feeling a bit better.

I've never spent much time away from her at all and always wanted to keep things as normal as possible for her at this time

This is a lovely thought, but quite ambitious so don’t give yourself a hard time if it doesn’t quite work out how you intended. A newborn needs a lot from you time-wise; if you find DC1 is spending less time with you and more with DH, that’s ok. You’ll be building a strong bond with baby and she’ll be strengthening her relationship with her daddy. There’s always going to be some realignment when a new DC joins the crew - it’s part of the fun