How long do you want house guests?

[SquarePeggyLeggy]

I was having this conversation with some friends recently - I realised that I absolutely hate house guests, of any duration longer than a night or weekend max. It doesn’t matter who they are, I’m very introverted and countdown until they leave. I don’t think I let on about this, people always stay longer. It’s more dramatic after having 3 kids, I used to mind less but really a week was long enough.
My friend LOVES having guests to stay and catching up with friends in her home. She has people to stay all the time. So we are opposite ends of the spectrum. But I also don’t ever want to stay with people either, I always put us up nearby if possible.
What do most people think? How do you arrange it if so? Do you tell people who say they’d like to come for a week you want less? Or just take it as it goes?

[floofycroissant]

Depends on the guest tbh. I can't stand for more than 2 nights max if they expect to be entertained and to spend all the time together. If they can occupy themselves for a portion of time, or have things planned other than with me then possibly longer.

[EmbarrassedUser]

This is why I prefer staying with other people as we can leave when we choose. We’ve got a couple of friends who are real lingerers and won’t take the hint to leave which can be a bit tiresome. Love them to bits but it’s still so much easier when we can be the ones ‘with plans’ 😂

[AfterSchoolWorry]

I don't want any guests at all overnight. My dh's nephew is the exception. He's really easy going and you wouldn't know he was there.

[AGnu]

I can cope with a couple of hours... A whole day & I'm looking for excuses to pop upstairs, or I'll just go make everyone a cup of tea... We've rarely had people stay overnight but we have quite a small house so it's difficult to fit people in. We're looking to move & the first thing I check about any potential house is the layout & how suitable it would be for having guests. It gets bonus points if it has an annexe or if it has a couple of reception rooms so we don't have to have everyone in the same room all the time.

I'm just really antisocial & am actually enjoying the pandemic because I don't have to see anyone else! We're a family of 5 so can't even meet up with grandparents altogether. I've not quite got as far as sending DH & the kids to see my parents without me but there's always a chance I might!

[Runningdownthathill]

We don’t have room anymore. We used to have more space and I enjoyed it for two or three nights. I honestly can’t bear having anyone but my children now. I get really stressed.

[runninguphills]

Nope. People think I'm very sociable and I like people coming over for an dinner/evening drinks.

However, those 3-4 hours is my maximum limit. I hate anyone staying longer. I love my home and my space and love the peace and quiet to relax and recharge.

[yearinyearout]

I don't like having overnight guests at all. Maybe if I had a massive house where I wouldn't be worried about people overhearing DH snoring I might feel differently.

I think I've got more antisocial with age though. Years ago we invited two of DH's work colleagues and their wives to have dinner and stay over (he was really close mates with them but I'd never met them or their wives) I wouldn't dream of doing that now.

[Faith50]

What is the longest time you have had family, say parents stay?

I have had family stay for months at a time (9 months longest so far) due to housing issues, visiting from abroad. Extremely challenging at times and I spent a lot of time in my room. I am an introvert and do not enjoy hosting long term. I am happy hosting lunches, dinners, BBQs, parties.

[Bookaholic73]

About 30 mins is my max 😂

[Ellmau]

It depends who they are, how much I like them, and how hard work they are.

[Shizzlestix]

3 nights max with my parents, them here or me there. I hate staying elsewhere. My mum ruined it for me by coming to stay in my student house, which was just weird of her.

My favourite way of socialising is going to my bil’s house for the annual family lunch. We arrive at 12 and leave by 4. Perfect.

[cheeseismydownfall]

Completely dependent on who it is. A very small handful of close friends I would happily host for a week or more. My sisters, a few nights. My mum/MIL ideally no more than one night.

I'm a bit jaded following a few years as an expat when we had my mum and MIL staying for weeks at a time, multiple times a year. That was hard going.

[Saranvenya]

I like it, but I don't 'host' people stay and have to muck in, if they want food/drink etc then they help themselves.
They also know to clean up after too!
The people who stay also know that going to have time alone etc is cool.
But we have had so many of the kids (now adults who live here) friends, our family and our friends stay over the years. that its now normal to have extras in the house, when we moved we bought a house that had enough room for the extras.

[FlyNow]

For me it's never, but I don't have a problem with this as no one has ever asked to stay with me. So I guess they feel the same or maybe I'm just awful, either way it works out

[joystir59]

3 nights is perfect.

[TwoLeftSocksWithHoles]

Three days, two nights.

I believe it is the law in England actually. Well that's what I tell people.

[ProudAuntie76]

Controversial but never overnight .

It’s so rude when people invite themselves to stay at someone else’s home. I love having people for dinner, coffee etc but it’s really intrusive and stressful having them stay here for days on end and I feel on edge the whole time.

My parents are the only exception and if I had adult DCs.

If you MUST invite yourselves to other people’s homes I’d say three nights is the absolute max. Two nights ideally.

[Nicolastuffedone]

......about 10 minutes

[MrsT1405]

I hate,hate having visitors of any kind. Unfortunately we live by the coast in Spain and my dh loves to entertain. Visitors think a week or a fortnight is fine. They often buy us a meal out to say thank you . I hate every minute. Then to make matters worse we have to stay with them in the UK instead of some nice Pemier Inn. There is only one family exceception I don't mind. Lets just say lockdown has been a blessing .

[Lavenderteal271]

Never. We don't even have many people to visit (without staying over) either. We usually arrange a walk or a meal out or something with the kids.

[Kernowgal]

Like others have said, it depends on the guests. Self-sufficient, happy to entertain themselves at times and offer to share the cooking? Stay as long as they like. Get up and sit there waiting for me to sort breakfast/the day's entertainment/dinner? Nope. A day, max.

Thankfully most of my guests are the first type, as am I.

[Sheknowsaboutme]

I dont. Hate having people to stay.

BIL stays a couple of nights in the run up to Christmas. DS who is 12 has to sleep on the blow up bed in our room. The slippers by the front door (we never use the front door), toothbrush pot in the bathroom, constantly back and forth muttering. Thank god he ain’t coming this year🎉🎉🎉

Ive also had my brother/sil/2 kids stay a couple of nights. Not anymore. It meant my 3 kids on the floor in our room. SIL likes to leave lights on and blinds closed during the day, straighteners left on when they left for an afternoon out. And making yourself at home for her meant leaving dirty mugs on the table, getting up to make a cuppa with a clean mug etc. I dont live like that.
No one stays at mine again.

[terriblyangryattimes]

A weekend max. Unless they are here to look after my kids whilst I am away in which case as long as they like

[Peasbewithyou]

Oh I don’t think that’s unreasonable at all OP! Unless people are visiting from somewhere far flung and have travelled especially to see you then I think 2 nights max is reasonable. I find myself getting a bit ratty when people stay longer than that! It might be different if they were just staying with us while doing something else like working in the area or something. My brother stayed with us for a month or so for this purpose and that was fine because it was more like he lived here - so he just did his own thing and was obviously out during the day at work etc.

If it’s just for visiting though then 2 nights / 3 days is more than sufficient (I’m looking at you MIL!!)

[nosswith]

Three or four days maximum, just a weekend if not a time of year such as Easter or Christmas.