Does anyone have a housekeeper?

[Reubenshat]

I’m looking at getting a house keeper. What do you expect of them and how much do you pay of you mind me asking. I’m ok the North west. It’s not a massive house. Just four bed.

I’ve two kids, very busy with my business and the house is getting on top of me.

Thanks

[Paranoidmarvin]

@habibihabibi probably. Actually what I do is not hard but takes a lot of time and effort. Triple checking myself. As not to go over the line. Being respectful. Trust me. Looking after a house that old and that large is a lot of work. You have to be organised and very forward taking and I think a lot on my feet. And I have a lot of patience.
It is also an honour to look after so were that old.

We still have all the bells in the kitchen that ring when u press the bells in the other rooms. These are all the original ones. So many things that have been there for hundreds of years. These need looking after properly.
I’m proud of my job and what I do. It’s other people that have the problem and that’s up to them. I get more angry for other people rather than myself.
I used to be a full time cleaner. A long list of clients. That was a long hard and exhausting job. I would love to see some of these people who criticise do it. I also do it with fibromyalgia which is incredibly painful. And I never take a day off work. So they can quite frankly off.
Sorry. This thread hit a nerve apparently

[habibihabibi]

Paranoidmarvin
Not that you should be ashamed but saying you are a house manager (as I am sure you are) may make people be a little more respectful.

[mbosnz]

It’s the oddest thing that in this country if you keep your own house clean you’re a good woman but if you clean another’s house your somehow menial?.

To be honest, I feel that keeping your own house clean is somewhat looked down upon. I certainly got that feeling from British immigrants in NZ. It's weird.

[Fluffycloudland77]

It’s the oddest thing that in this country if you keep your own house clean you’re a good woman but if you clean another’s house your somehow menial?.

My grandmother was a cleaner & I never knew it was anything but a normal job.

[absolutelyknackeredcow]

It's odd isn't it - especially when I paid a really good wage (considerably more than London living wage) and was a really good employer.
Sadly we have been hit hard by Covid as a a household with pay cuts and furlough but long for the day when I can get another one !

[Paranoidmarvin]

@BoogleMcGroogle I know. It’s people like that annoy me more than I can say. If the lock down taught us anything. It’s people like me and the cleaners and the bin men and the low of the low people who work in Tesco ( someone else’s words not mine that kept this country running. Not all the fancy arse people in their fancy arse offices.
I worked during lockdown. They all worked during lockdown. And kept us all going. And people who make comments about the dirty work make my head explode. If we all stopped doing the dirty work this country would fall apart very quickly. Makes me so angry. I have seen people’s faces when I say I used to be a cleaner even now when I say I’m a housekeeper. . And it is a look of. Wow your lowest of the low. But I guarantee you every person on here who has a cleaner is extremely grateful for them and couldn’t do without them.

My employer appreciates me and has said on more than one occasion that she would be lost without me.

[BoogleMcGroogle]

ParanoidMarvin it was all the more grating because my mum got herself through her social work training when I was little by cleaning offices in the evenings. I remember going with her and helping shine the sinks with smelly green powder. You can say a lot of things about my mother but 'morally dubious' or in anyway subordinated ain't two 😉

And I often say that the help I had, especially in the early days of family life, enabling me to work, kept my marriage together and kept me sane. I'm hugely grateful for the nine years our last cleaner was with us.

[minnieok]

I had a housekeeper pt 3 days a week when kids were smaller, she started at 2, did cleaning, picked up the kids, made sure they didn't kill each other and put dinner on if I left it prepped (eg turned on the oven for a casserole etc), she ironed, changed kids sheets but didn't do my bedroom at my request. 12 hours a week basically. She was great but broke her back on holiday and I have had a succession of rubbish cleaners since (kids didn't need childcare by that point though still tried to kill each other!)

[Paranoidmarvin]

There are plenty of people whose mortgage is dependent on us doing other people’s ‘dirty’ work.
If u need somebody to help you with the house and kids there is nothing wrong with that.
My boss works till 2 am sometimes. They both work really really hard.and want to spend their spare time with their kids instead of doing housework. There is nothing wrong with having someone help you. And anyone who says otherwise is a snob and obviously has too much time on their hands to worry about your life.

I hope they included your husband in that whole dirty work comment. Probably not. People are just rude sometimes.
If it wasn’t for my boss I wouldn’t be able to pay my mortgage or food bill.

[Paranoidmarvin]

@BoogleMcGroogle good. I hope it works out. I have always told people I worked for to tell me if I have missed anything , not done it how they want it done etc. Everyone is different. And everyone has different standards. What one client would be happy with and what another is very different. So I always made sure they felt like they could tell me when I had done something.

It can take a few weeks to get settled into a job etc. But I hope it goes okay.

[Fluffycloudland77]

moral dubiousness of paying another woman to do 'my' dirty work



Providing employment is very important. The economy’s held back if a woman who can earn a lot & pay tax, buy nice things etc can’t because she had a family.

It’s not dirty work anyway, it’s a by-product of being alive.

[BoogleMcGroogle]

ParanoidMarvin thank you, that's really helpful guidance. It's a new house, so this would probably be helpful for me too. I have interviewed her and she's happy to do laundry, bed changes and ironing, but some sort of clarification will help us both. We had our last cleaner for so long, she just got on with it. This is why I avoided an agency, as I didn't understand how different people would all know what to do ( plus I like that personal relationship).

[BoogleMcGroogle]

absolutelyknackeredcow I think you are quite right. Indeed, society seems to treat all working women, not just highly paid ones, harshly on this count. Plenty of teachers and other less well paid professionals employ a cleaner, but keep quiet about it, since others can be so judgemental.

I recall being aggressively challenged by a stranger at a social event regarding the moral dubiousness of paying another woman to do 'my' dirty work, and another to look after my children. At the time, I had two kids under five ( one with special needs), a fledgling and very busy business, a husband pushing for partnership and absent 14 hours a day. Luckily, my 'guiltometer' malfunctions, and I was able simply to file her under 'numpty'. In contrast, my husband's colleagues sort of just assume he has a housekeeper, whether marital or professional.

[Paranoidmarvin]

@BoogleMcGroogle. Nope. Good idea. That way then you both know where you stand. Get them to tick it off the list as she goes. That way you can check it has been done. Some cleaners try it on and leave early etc.
If it works out then maybe later you can ignore the list. And let them do what they think needs to be done.
But I would ask her to do other things not just cleaning if you want. She may say yes.
In my opinion if your paying me I’m happy to do whatever you want.

[BoogleMcGroogle]

So, I think I need somewhere between a 'normal' cleaner and ParanoidMarvin. The kids are older and so stuff like birthday parties are easy enough and I don't need childcare, as I want to be able to spend more time with them, not less. DH is great at pulling his weight when he knows what needs doing. We share school runs etc. He just doesn't really notice a lot of the 'behind the scenes' stuff ( and acknowledges this).

Maybe our seven hours a week arrangement is as good as it gets! Our fab old cleaner hung up her duster for the last time last week and a new lady begins next week. I think I need a nice, laminated list of tasks, so she knows what needs doing. Is that pushy/ patronising?

[Paranoidmarvin]

@Reubenshat I started off as a cleaner for lots of people. To be honest a messy house is good for me as I love getting my hands on in things that need sorting.

So no. A house that needs sorting wouldn’t bother me. I do everything. Deliveries , kids , just did all their uniforms etc. So that is all ready to go on weds. I sort all six dogs out. Walk them everyday but I work on a country estate so have grounds to walk them on.

You just have to be able to trust the person who u hire. I go through all wardrobes and cupboards etc. That is a lot into some ones privacy. But I am very respectful.
I toss clothes that I can’t mend or are stained without asking. That takes trust. I go through cupboards that need sorting and get rid of crap.

I have worked for them for a while so I know them very well. And what they need and mostly I just trust my own instincts. As an example I have just been through the girls wardrobes. Chucked stuff that was too small or was to worn.

I sort the shopping and put that away. I don’t do the gardening as they have gardeners for that.

I do the house work as well. It’s a huge house so that is always a work in progress. I wrap and sort birthday presents and do all the Christmas wrapping as an example.

Again. It’s about trust. It works both ways. But I love this job and wouldn’t imagine doing anything else to be honest.
Now my own house .... well. Not as organised as that one 😂

[absolutelyknackeredcow]

Things that my nanny/ housekeeper used to do

• take deliveries / put shopping away
• sort play dates / birthday gifts
• do dry cleaning or other errands
• make meals
• laundry

-ironing

I think we are rubbish at looking after high earning women in this country. My husband pulls his weight 50/ 50 but I was earning good money and was exhausted trying to do it all. I also found that all the time with children was just doing chores so this was much better in terms of quality time. Other countries it is much more the norm

[BoogleMcGroogle]

This is a really helpful thread. I also run my own business and find some weeks are just doing, doing, doing. I struggle to find any time to myself, more so now after school clubs won't be running. We have a cleaner who also does bed changing/ laundry for 7 hours a week. But I still find there are loads of chores to do. Does anyone have a housekeeper for more hours than this and what do you ask them to do that might lighten the load?

[RemyHadley]

But is that £18ph net or gross?

[AuldFox]

Sorry should have added we are in London. I run my own business and refuse to do housework on top of that.

[AuldFox]

£18 per hour here, live out housekeeper. No nannying (kids now teenagers). She’s a godsend.

[Othering]

I know who the local overpaid footballers have and they are silly money. £30 an hour and they arrive in a team of 4, so it's £120 per hour and they blitz the place. They are more cleaners than housekeepers though. If you want someone to start running the household, then it's usually a privately employed individual.

[nosswith]

I expect that the local overpaid footballers have them- is there any way you could find out who they have- possibly via an agency?

[absolutelyknackeredcow]

In terms of practical things - the person above had it right - get them to do what they would do in their own house. Cleaning, cooking, errands. Shopping

Setting them up with float money and getting the right person is crucial.

My lady had the same standards as us so it bliss

[absolutelyknackeredcow]

I had a nanny / housekeeper a few years back. Without doubt it was the most relaxed I have ever been. She was fantastic. Our circumstances changed but I would LOVE to get another. Would be first on my list if we won the lottery