Were you proud of your parents jobs when you were a kid?

[BabyLlamaZen]

Including if one of them was a sahp? And what are your thoughts on them now?

I'm curious to see the answers on this! I was always incredibly proud of what both my parents did (mum in high powered professional role, dad part time teacher and part time sahd). I didn't see one as better than the other, despite the pay and status difference.

I wonder if this is always the case?

[BackforGood]

Same as on the house thread. As kids (for most of us - I can see it might be different for those in extreme circumstances), life is just 'what it is'.
I really don't think it crosses children's minds to "be proud of" (or otherwise) their parents when they are a child.

As an adult - you will probably look back and view things very differently, but as a child, surely 'that is just what it is' and you don't give it any thought.

[PineappleUpsideDownCake]

I think thats true. Your parents are just your parents.

I don't want to introduce the idea that we'd judge people on the basis of their jobs in order to be proud or not. Id not thibk so highly if parents that did or felt they needed that affirmation.

[blanchmange50]

My mum was a single parent, she had to live off benefits until we were at school and then she always worked. She worked in a factory and made sure me and my sisters had what we needed. She instilled a work ethic which all of us have and I would probably say on looking back I am very proud of her and thank her for what she did for us. Not sure when I was younger I felt pride, as a child you cant help but look at others and I remember we couldnt afford things that others did.

[SqidgeBum]

My mom was a sahp and a childminder. I will admit, I was never 'proud' of what she did. She wasnt unusual; majority of the friends Moms were sahms at that time. However, as I got older I was more proud of the job she did before she had me, and was amazed that she gave it up for me and my sister. Now I am a teacher but currently a sahm (about to give birth to DD2 and be on maternity leave, then probably take time out of work). I still dont have the same level of pride in me for being a sahm compared to a teacher. I know I should. I just think people look down on me for it.

With my Dad, he worked in a really special location, world famous (I cant say where), so I was super proud that he worked there, and my Grandad did before him. I am still very proud of him and what he does.

[MilaRos]

I was very proud, my mum was a SAHM, she was always there after school. Some of my fondest memories. My dad was/still is a managing director of his own insurance company. After my mum raised us children, she started her career in events management. I followed in my mums footsteps and was a SAHM for my two children until my youngest turned 3. Now I'm progressing in my career as a SEN practitioner. It was really important to me that I gave my children what I had, I currently work two 10 hour shifts a week, so I'm home for the children after school 3 days a week.

[isabellerossignol]

I was fine with it until I went to secondary school where I was bullied horribly when people found out what my father did for a living. Ironically he made quite a lot of money, probably more than some of the parents of kids who were bullying me. But it wasn't a nice middle class job, so that apparently made me poor and a subject of ridicule.

I just felt so ashamed that it upset me, so I couldn't tell my parents why I was being bullied at school because I didn't want them to feel bad. Ironically my mother had previously had a professional type job but had given it up to be a sahm because my dad earned plenty of money and she could afford to.

[DolphinsAndNemesis]

I was proud of my dad's work. He was a university professor and writer.

My mother was a SAHM until I was in my early teens. I can't say I was proud of that, especially as she was entirely unsuited to the SAHM role. She was very clearly frustrated by the relentlessness of housework, etc. (and generally avoided housework as much as she could). When she returned to work, I was very proud of her and she absolutely blossomed.

[Imicola]

I never thought about it, and even now I would say its not something I would think of as being proud or embarrassed about. They just did the jobs they did - a mechanic and an administrative role.

[OverTheRainbow88]

My mum was a sahm- just never really thought about it if I’m being honest, probably took her for granted etc

My dad, not sure I was proud as such but he was always being asked to come into my School and talk about his job, I should have been proud I guess but I found it embarrassing. Looking back now I’m proud of both ❤️

[Backtobasics5]

I don’t remember having any understanding of proud regarding my parents even as a teen. I agree with another poster I don’t think children think like that mainly because you don’t fully realise at the time.

[dudsville]

I was very proud. My mother was a sahm, then started taking in kids to babysit, then when my parents divorced she got an office job and then in a major department store and worked her way up to fine jewelry shops. She dressed glamorously in dresses she made.

I was also equally proud of my father. He was a builder but he could do it all, plumbing, electricity, he could clear land and put in the pipes for everything. Very talented!

[dudsville]

I just read the posts about not being aware of this. My mother worked hard to keep a roof over my head. I knew this because I missed her so much, but I understood why she wasn't around and how hard this was on her. Her feet were always really sore and heavily calloused. I respected that as a child of 10 years.

[AlexaShutUp]

Yeah, my dad was very successful in his field and his work made a significant difference to many organisations and individuals, so I was indeed proud of what he did. It was interesting to hear about it, too.

My mum was a sahm. I love her dearly and am grateful for the sacrifices that she made, but if I'm totally honest, I never felt proud of her. Rather, I pitied her. She felt (and still feels) that she had wasted her talents and potential at home, and in many ways, I guess she did. It was hard as a teenager to deal with her lack of fulfillment and any sense of achievement, and I desperately wished that she had been able to find the confidence to go back to work. It would have helped us financially (my dad was successful but not very well paid), but more importantly, it would have made a huge difference to her mental health, and therefore to all our happiness, then and now. Don't get me wrong, she was and is a great mum, but she would have been a better one had she been happier in her own choices. Her experiences have played a key role in helping to determine the career choices that my dsis and I have made, and for that, I am grateful. I am also very appreciative of her passionate support for our own careers. I just wish that we had had a positive, happy model to aspire to and learn from, rather than a cautionary tale focused on what to avoid.

Ultimately, I guess it boils down to how your parents feel about their own life choices. My dad was definitely proud of his choices, and I felt proud of him. My mum was somewhat ashamed of hers, and so I felt sorry for her and somewhat guilty for being the cause of her disappointment and frustration.

[Mummiepig]

I never gave much thought to what jobs they did but, I hated that they both worked full time
Endless au pairs, babysitters, nannies, holiday clubs and I hated going to the childminders so I was a SAHM
I just wanted to be at home with my mum
I didn’t care what job she had
Don’t get me wrong all the childcare I had was great, but it wasn’t my family, I’m glad my sister was with me too

[Ginger1982]

My mum was a SAHP until I was around 9 or 10 and then went back to teaching. My dad had a job that, at the time, I found a bit embarrassing. It was a professional job but one that many kids took the piss out of me for. Now, I'm very proud of what he did.

[Asiama]

I am really sad to say I was ashamed of my dad's job. He had an honest, hard working, unskilled manual job. My mother was ashamed that he wasn't in an office job and would tell me how embarrassing it is and that I should tell people he is a computer operator (because as part of his manual job he had to log in and out of a computer). I stupidly even agreed to have this put on my marriage certificate. My poor dad, always being made to look bad by my mother.

My mother was a SAHM and I felt neither pride nor shame. She was proud because she felt it made her respectable.

I am now super proud of my dad for doing his best and totally ashamed of my mum who preferred for us to live in utter poverty than tarnish her image by getting a job.

[Backtobasics5]

@dudsville

I just read the posts about not being aware of this. My mother worked hard to keep a roof over my head. I knew this because I missed her so much, but I understood why she wasn't around and how hard this was on her. Her feet were always really sore and heavily calloused. I respected that as a child of 10 years.

To be fair we all look back and think things. I’m not saying you didn’t think that at 10 years old. But many children obviously wouldn’t have full understanding... like when your mum says wait till you have your own (kids). Well that’s just my take and it’s dependant on what sort of childhood you had.

[AlexaShutUp]

I should add, I had no idea about it as a kid, but I'm now immensely proud of my paternal grandmother, born into a very simple working class family at the end of the nineteenth century, who showed the most incredible entrepreneurial spirit, determination and sense of adventure to forge a career for herself in a time and a society when women didn't usually have that choice. I wish I'd known her better, but sadly, I did not get much of an opportunity.

She was a true trailblazer, there is so much I'd love to have asked her!

[AlexaShutUp]

Asiama, that's so sad. Nothing to be ashamed of in honest hard work - my dad spent some time in a tough manual job before going into his chosen career, and said it was the hardest thing he ever did. It's a shame that our horribly classist society made your mum feel ashamed of your dad's hard graft to support his family.

[nosswith]

I had more pride in the charity fundraising my dad did than his job, but never denied or felt embarrassed by his job.

[imnotimportant]

Proud of both my parents , they both worked and had professional occupations , taught me the value of working hard , saving hard for what was important to you as a person . I know my work and saving ethic comes from their example .

[Sandsnake]

My mum was a teacher and I used to feel quite proud of that as a child. I somehow felt that the teachers would maybe think more of me as I had a parent who was ‘one of them.’ Bonkers! As an adult I am even more proud of her. Because she was a great teacher but more how hard she worked keeping things together at home whilst her marriage was crumbling and my dad struggled to hold down a job, in part due to poor mental health.

[BabyLlamaZen]

I'll rephrase - as a kid I don't think I actually noticed, I think it was a teen when I felt like I was 'proud' of them! More when I started talking to other kids. Interesting perspective about it being how the parents felt about it themselves.

[Standrewsschool]

I knew where my dad worked, but never really knew what he did, apart from he was a researcher. In a town where every parent worked ‘up town’, ie London, he was a slight oddity.

[honeylulu]

My dad was a pharmacist and my mum was (still is) a podiatrist. I can't remember really thinking much about it although as with other pps they were well known in the local community because of their jobs.

Actually, if I mentioned what my mum did people tended to go "eeewww, feet!" which bemused me. (I don't understand why some find feet erotic either. They're just things on the end of your legs that help you walk along!)

I'm a solicitor and my husband is an accountant. After witnessing us working from home my 6 year old head decided DH's job is harder because "he has to count money all day - you just tell people what to do".