Keeping my daughter's hair neat.

[Intricate56]

Hi,

My daughter is 4. Her hair can be quite unruly. Anything I do to it, any way I put it up, within a couple of hours, it's a mess. Part of that is down to her personality. She looks like she's been dragged through a hedge backwards, because she spends quite a bit of time dragging herself through hedges backwards.

I'm not great at doing her hair. I can plait, but it unravels. Braids were a crooked nightmare. Ponytails I can never get smooth. Any tips? Her hair is not curly, it's a little bit wavy, quite long. She wants it kept long, could probably do with a trim at the moment which doesn't help. She starts school in September, and I'd like to be a bit better at getting her hair neat and staying that way for longer than five minutes. Any easy styles I could try? Any handy little hints that I can use? I've never liked my hair, never been good at dealing with it. I'd just like to be a bit better for her.

Thank you!

[HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime]

When DD was that age I'd spritz her ponytail with a little bit of light hairspray which has the added bonus of keeping nits at bay as they can't grab on and kept it tidyer.

I used to french plait the front section. So divide the hair down the middle but only plait halfway back.

Tangle tweezer buses are ace for getting the initial knots out and a spritz of water 💦 or detangler is great.

Add has chosen to have a pixie cut the last 4 years so gets a quick swipe through with a comb and it's done. I miss the days of putting in cute bunches and wonky French plaits.

[OhLookHeKickedTheBall]

By DD was similar at 4. In fact her hair has only recently calmed down now and she's 9. It looks lovely so long as I can get her to run a brush through it!

[BumDiggyDiggyDiggyBumDiggyBum]

My DD is 5 and starting school next week. She has really thick long hair (down to just under her bum) it’s red, and just beautiful.

She’s not had it cut since before lockdown so is having it done Friday. I’m getting 1 or 2 inches from the bottom of it, and some layers put in as it’s getting a bit unmanageable and tuggy!

My regular styles to keep it away:

High ponytail, then pleated and wrapped into a bun.

Same again, but with bunches and made into space buns.

French or Dutch pleats (I find Dutch to be tighter and stronger)

Fishtail pleat, but that’s a bit fiddly so not for school mornings.

Side ponytail or normal ponytail, with 2 or 3 thick bobbles to hold it up.

We use gel spray for flyaways. Occasionally, and especially over lockdown, I’d wash her hair using only shampoo. Towel dry then smother in conditioner. Brush it all, then put it up in about 10 or 12 pleats. Kept it in for a few days, it kept it out of her face during those hot days we had and saved me doing it every morning.

[HPandTheNeverEndingBedtime]

You could buy a styling head, even a kids one would do that DD can use and practise on that. Might make it easier than getting a wiggly 4 year old to sit still.

[BogRollBOGOF]

4 year olds often still have quite fine "babyish" hair that still hasn't thickened up like their peers, so often a bit of time helps .
I have DSs with longer hair. They don't want it tying up and I keep it just below that threshold for school. But it gets static and knotted easily. Hair oil helps a lot. I use it on the ends when I plait my hair for running and it helps protect it rom the sweat and unravelling and tangling from the swishing.

A good cut helps too. Dry ends get matted and tangled easily. DS1 tries to chew his hair and it is much easier to comb when recently cut than when he's damaged the ends by chomping.

Agreed on the "right" combs/ brushes/ bands. It makes a big difference.

I don't mind mine coming home looking like scarecrows; they're children. But I do want them to get as far as the classroom looking like they've been lovingly maintained first

[pastabest]

Ahh I have the same problem with both my girls. They also spend a lot of time in hedges and it feels very unfair on them that my desire for them to not resemble scarecrows within minutes of leaving the house should hamper their fun.

I spray in leave in conditioner after I've washed their hair, comb it through and tie it up wet which can help. Alternatively blow drying it properly but it's a bit of a faff as an every day thing.. If I leave it down to dry naturally it's difficult to control though.


Although might use gel spray after seeing it recommended above.

[anothermansmother]

My dd has the same hair type as your daughter by the sounds of it.
Best things I've found:

• regular trims at the hairdressers
• using a good conditioner

-learn how to blow dry it properly
-use gel to smooth down flyaways
-braid when wet, and use moose (applied to wet hair) to keep it in.

• plait it before bed so it doesn't go frizzy
• let her have messy hair days

My dd is now 10 and washes and plaits it herself. She knows when we're at home it doesn't matter what it looks like as long as she's brushed it, but when we're out is always styled neatly, as line you I wouldn't want anyone to pass comment and make her self conscious.

[IncrediblySadToo]

I agree that I don't mind what they look like coming OUT of school, but I like them to look like someone loves them going IN to school!

It's definitely easier to put French plaits etc in when it's damp and using a comb to gather the next bit makes it neater.

But a decent brush that works on HER hair is good for ponytail, bunches etc. With a pony tail you need to find what works for you. I gather the hair underneath and 'lift' the pony tail by brushing it up and reholding it (hope that makes sense?! Alternate between brushing it with right hand and smoothing underneath rehding it with left) then when it's high enough then keeping hold with left hand smoothing the sides and top in with the brush then my hands.

Sorry that's probably hard to follow & ive had long hair 40 odd years now, & done loads of other people's hair so its second nature.

You'll find what works. Having the desire to do it is the main thing! Plus decent quality brush & bands etc. Ones that actually stretch - cheaper bands often don't stretch much so you can't get them tight enough.

And never use rubber bands (other than the ones for braces at the ends, if you do loads of small plaits!!🤣

Have fun!!

[SuperDuperJezebel]

@Chickoletta

My daughter’s hair is very fine and most styles just come down over the course of the day at school and she comes out looking like a scarecrow so I can totally relate! She now (age 7) has a jaw length bob which really suits her and sits well without needing much ‘doing’.

I’ve found that the really tiny hair elastics (the ones that look like loom bands) keep her hair up much better. When longer, I’d put these underneath standard hair bands.

When longer, the style I found best for school was to take a ‘half up’ ponytail, plait this and put a band in. Then gather up the rest and put a bigger hair band halfway down so that it’s a ponytail with a plait on top - does that make sense? Looked neat and stayed up much better than pony tails and normal plaits.

My daughter's hair is the same, so fine and it just falls out of everything, so I also buy the little rubber hairbands which really help.

She is growing out a fringe I didn't ask to be cut, it's almost as long as the rest now but not quite, so I sweep it to the side, plait it and tie with a rubber hair elastic, and then incorporate it into her pigtails/plaits/ponytail, and secure with a clip. It seems to last so much better!

[GinWithASplashOfTonic]

I had very fine hair as a kid which I had v.short. It was too fine for a bob cut. I usually wore my hair in bunches. Then when I was slightly older I had plait bunches. They seems to be more secure than a single plait

[BingeOnChocolate]

DSD has long hair which has ringlets at the front and ends. If left down, it gets messy and any hairdo was a mess within an hour which like you, annoyed me.

I've invested in Cantu (kids although adult size you get more for your money) products. So their shampoo and conditioner to help the curls as it doesn't make the hair seem dense or heavy when washing. When it comes to styling, I sprits some water over her head and then use the curling custard on the top so when I'm brushing, it keeps all the hair in place. We use the thin backcomb bristle brush for this to ensure all the hair is back off her fact neatly. Once in a bobble or however, I just sprits the ends with the curling reviver and I use this in between washes too because it has a detangler element in it. If I'm braiding into french plaits, I do it damp and then curling custard in my hand ran over any plait or braid. Her hair stays beat from morning to bedtime when it's brushed and loose plait for bed even after gymnastics or school.

[DominaShantotto]

Double hairbobble ponytails - keeps it in place for longer.

Get it plaited or tied back when wet - if it's dried basically in the direction you're aiming at it going in - it's more likely to oblige when you come to re-do it.

DD2 always looks dishevelled - she has amazing long thick slightly auburn hair but has a habit of watching TV upside down on her head on the sofa so whatever I do it's wrecked within minutes. I just do it AS we're leaving the house now so she looks vaguely looked after!

[labyrinthloafer]

It's just yet another thing that holds girls back imo. Boys don't have to waste time sitting while their mum faffs about with their hair.

If someone is going to bully your daughter you can't stop that, if it isn't her hair it'll be something else. Put the energy into teaching your daughter she's fine how she is.

I genuinely don't understand why women pass this sort of grooming thing on, is such a waste of time.

[pastabest]

It's just yet another thing that holds girls back imo. Boys don't have to waste time sitting while their mum faffs about with their hair

On the one hand I completely agree with this, on the other I've had some lovely chats with my children when I've been doing their hair and I'm not sure when they would have happened otherwise? It's another way that women bond with each other in a different way to men isn't it?

[labyrinthloafer]

@pastabest yes, but you could bond doing something different, I bond with my children when gardening, which isn't dissimilar to hairdressing in a way as it involves a lot of putting things in neat rows, it is just a lot less pointless.

Don't get me started on spa days. If you took the total amount of time the world's women spend sitting in manky water and used it to do something useful instead... There are many reasons men get further, but one of them must be the amount of time women are happy to waste.

[labyrinthloafer]

Should have ended... on their appearance. Men can get ready so much faster!

[ahorsecalledseptember]

There is nothing wrong with this little girl having her hair cut short, but it doesn’t seem as if she wants this. Therefore, it’s quite justifiable to want her hair to be both clean and neat, just as I’m sure a little boys hair would be.

[FenellaMaxwell]

If she has fine hair, there’s a childs farm leave in spray for children which gives a bit of texture and grip. Spray the hair, comb it through then part it in half, and tie the half you aren’t doing back to make it easier. If you find french braiding tricky, you can fake it with ‘bubble braids’, where you just tie the hair with an elastic rather than have to cross it over.

[SimonJT]

My sons hair can be a bit like this.

I wash it on a Sunday night and either blow dry it, or let it dry naturally. On Monday morning I plait the lower back of his head in an upward direction and combine it with the rest of his hair into a bun, I then use a bun cloth so it doesn’t go too ‘fluffy’ sometimes I plait the lower half into the upper half so its more of a traditional Joora, done well it easily lasts a week.

[Mumshappy]

I use water to wet dds hair. (Empty detangling spray bottle) I use a fine comb to gather up the front and smooth sides of ponytails and pigtails. I use two hair bands on a ponytail to keep it tight. Plaits stay in better with damp hair. Dd uses conditioner everytime she washes her hair. I also use serum to get rid of flyaway bits at the front. Clips if necessary.

[seven201]

What is this gel spray that people are mentioning? My dd also starts school in sept and also likes to go through hedges backwards, and I love that about her, but her hair doesn't love it!

At the moment I just tie it up or if I'm feeling fancy sit her on my lap with the tv on and do two French plaits. Doesn't last long!

[BlastedMolluscum]

My daughter has similar hair, not curly but not straight so often looks messy.

The best style I've found is like a half up half down thing. This can be in a pony tail, or a bun. Or sometimes I mix it up and split the top section into 2 and do space buns or 2 pony tails. Hope that makes sense. I'll try to get images.

[BlastedMolluscum]

I mean it doesn't look as neat as this but you get the idea!

[Soubriquet]

I think two french plaits would keep it under control.

I can braid, plait and ponytail but I can’t french plait..

[BlastedMolluscum]

Or this type of thing