Do most people have a terrible secret which could ruin their life?

[aurynne]

Yesterday my DH and I were watching an episode of The Honourable Woman, and I found myself thinking back to all the movies, novels and series in which it appears that every character is carrying a dark, terrible secret which would ruin their life if it came to light. Often there is someone in the plot who, at some point, says something like "Everybody has a secret to protect", and the main character nods wisely, as if this was widely known and accepted.

I know it's fiction, but do you believe this is mostly true? Do you have a secret which, if revealed, would affect your or your loved ones' lives in a significant way? Of course I am not asking you to reveal it here (although if you wish, please be my guest, I am very nosey!), but please just feed my curiosity by saying YES (I have a dark secret) or NO (I don't have any dark secrets).

Personally, I think I must be very boring. The best detective in the World could not really find anything juicy to blackmail me with. My family is not going to find any skeletons in my closet (perhaps just some dust balls). I obviously have parts of my life that I prefer to remain in the private arena, but nothing worth going viral for, nothing that would really shock anyone or turn my life upside down by far if I published it today in The New York Times.

What about you?

[Flymetothetoon]

Only 3 might ruin my life though. Other 2 are cringe and embarrassing but not life ruining 😉

[Flymetothetoon]

I've got a few!

[glennamy]

Yes!

[AmyC40]

It's not really my dark secret but I am one of 3 siblings all adopted into different families. However we have a younger sibling who my birth mother kept who doesn't know about any of us! I have found my younger sister on instagram and at times feel tempted to introduce myself but wouldn't be right.

[duletty]

A few embarrassing things but nothing to be blackmailed over

[TLBftm]

Yes.... a few. All very different to each other and whilst I’d be ashamed at most of them if they came out, there are a couple that could ruin lives....

[rainbowsandrage]

I don’t have one myself but I know some other people’s. An ex friend of mine cheated on her husband with a guy from work. If that came out I doubt their marriage would survive. I also know a couple who had an affair, the guy was married with three kids, the woman was single. The guy ended up leaving his wife and then married the woman he was having an affair with. The kicker is that none of his new extended family know his ex wife and kids even exist. Even his own children from his current marriage have no idea that they have any half siblings.

[totalinsomniac]

Yes I have 2-my daughters father isn't who everyone (including her) thinks it is. Also I didn't sit my degree exams but have managed to have a successful 25 year career claiming I got a 2.1. I've don't work in that field now although I still sit on a couple of advisory committees

[Michellelovesizzy]

Lissie123
Hahah me and partner are not professionals but if we were it would affect jobs. Was a different person back then.

[Joodleoodle]

My life is not that interesting🤣

[geojojo]

No but having researched my family history I have discovered a couple. One which could have quite an impact on living family members.

[Joodleoodle]

Not a dark secret but I married a catholic Irish man and I'm CofE. His grandparents and parents died never knowing but they lived in Ireland and we didnt.

[lissie123]

And a possible jail term

[Michellelovesizzy]

Would not really want my kids or any 1 else 2 no x

[lissie123]

Yes it would affect my professional job and my husbands-yikes

[Michellelovesizzy]

Yes.. . But partner knows. We have been 2gether since we were 18.

[NeneValley]

No. Irresponsible maybe, but not immoral.
But my DV ex and narc (step)sister have spent years trying to suggest otherwise mind you.

I’ve gone AWOL from jobs quote a few times to bunk off camping/hitch hiking. I had proper itchy feet in my 20s and 30s.
Had some not nice incidents during the peak of a violent relationship. I wasn’t in a rational frame of mind, so can’t let myself feel too embarrassed about them.
Had a canoodling and kissing crush on my ‘long lost’ cousin as a green 20 year old, which my narc (step)sis who then had a relationship with him and was consequently messily dumped tries to hold against me as a dark family secret.
She trashed his flat/ cut up all his trews/stalked his new girlfriend and worse, which is a ‘family secret’ that she hides, so I think that might be why she’s tried so hard to sabotage me (and a few other women in her life) to keep us quiet about her.

I cheated on a long term boyfriend once. We were in separate bedrooms by year 4 of our 7 year relationship, but couldn’t leave eachother as we were good friends. So it took me chatting to a stranger online to cheat on him and eventually leave.

Except that stranger turned up at our house when I hadn’t even given my address, and was the man who was violent to me for the next 7 years.

I’m a straightfoward but also socially awkward person. If someone asks me a personal question I’ll answer it even if it does seem a bit of an over-share! “Well, you asked!...” kind of thing.

[Hellsbells35]

My god yes!! I have one very big one that would ruin my life and my husband would leave me. And several other ones that are quite bad too

[OVienna]

I am someone else's big secret - I am the child of a closed adoption. My birth father didn't know. Having met him, I can see why my BM fled. Her current husband and her parents did know. I think there is a possibility her siblings did not.

It's a weird feeling, being someone else's secret. I have tried to contact her but I do worry that she is kept up at night, or has been, with worry that I'd roll back in and destroy her life.

[StormBaby]

Yes, a few things in my past, but my DH knows about them and his opinion is the only one that matters to me so whatever. It doesn't keep me awake at night.

[Trees2905]

Yes

[Chocachocaholic]

Yes I have 2! My husband knows both so no damage could be done there. One I'm ashamed off and would die if it came out. The other whilst I'm not ashamed I would hate my employer to find out as I have a very professional job! Funnily enough was taking dh only this afternoon about one of them!

[Hopeisamyth]

Yes I do. 😞

[Kitjat]

Absolutely which my now ex husband knew about exclusively and he promised never to divulge-But he did in front of my whole family trying to shame me my worse day of life...but I gained it they couldn't believe I could do.such a career which I loved soh

[Candy999]

Yes. I worked as an escort from 18-21. It was kinda revealed to my two long term best friends and I lost both of those friendships. However no one in my current life knows about it apart from friends I made in the industry. I think if it was to be revealed now the majority of people I know wouldn’t believe it as I’m a completely different person now, however it is still something that would ruin my life if enough people knew about it