Annoyed that I am overweight yet I don't seem to care

[myeverygoodthing]

I am overweight (size 16-18). I am only 23 and I feel frustrated with myself with how I have let myself go in regards to my weight yet I can't seem to get the motivation or energy to do anything. I have attempted to diet in the past but it only ever lasts around two weeks.

I gained weight whilst at university as I had a lot of anxiety and I used (and still use) food to comfort myself. Every evening I eat chocolate and I am very lazy at preparing decent meals for myself so my diet is pretty beige. At 18 I was a size 10-12 so it is a pretty big change and I get so anxious when I am back in my hometown because I don't want people I went to school with to see me now.

I know how unhealthy my eating habits are and how bad my weight will be for my health as I have studied it at university in quite a lot of depth. I am not lazy or unmotivated in other aspects of my life.

Sometimes I feel compassion for myself as I know I am this way because I am using the only coping skill (comfort eating) that I have ever known and I have had bad anxiety to get through during the past three years. But I am also frustrated with how much I bury my head in the sand about my situation. I also hate that I am spending my early 20s so unhappy with my body that I don't want to go on holidays, wear nice outfits or date. I feel like I have placed my life on pause until I deal with this but I don't seem to be dealing with it. I thought after university I would be healthier once the stress of university was removed but I haven't.

All of my friends are so slim and they are so mindful of themselves. Like a friend started an office job and before she started gaining any weight she already pre-emptively upped her workouts at the gym to accommodate the sedentary nature of her new job compared to her previous more active job. I feel like they keep themselves in check and are very observant of how much and what they eat. I have truly just let myself go. I hate it.

Gosh I wrote more than I expected, I guess I am feeling worse about this than I realised.

Can anyone else relate or have any advice?

I put on a lot of weight when I hit 21, slimming world really helped me as I didnt feel restricted too much

Can you get any counselling to deal with the root problem, if you know you're self medicating with food? Your GP might be able to refer you for some cbt.

In terms of eating, is it worth trying something like 16:8 so you just eat what you want but in an 8 hour window? that might be a start.

Good luck OP

It is much easier to be "mindful of yourself" when you're still close to your ideal weght, as your friends are. I am in that situation now: I am a healthy weight, so if i overindulge for a period of time (for instance in the last 2 months, when I stayed home andcared for a puppy instead of working nights, which makes me lose weight) I only have to lose 3-4 kg which can be done in 2 weeks.

I was you when I was in my late teens - early 20s. 3 or 4 sizes larger, so I knew "working on it" would take months, and I despaired. Dieting on my own never worked because cravings would take over and the diet would be ruined, and i would yo-yo back to my unhealthy weight or worse. For me what gave me the kick-in-the-arse was to pay and go to a dietitian-endocrinologist and commit to the diet she prescribed for me. I was paying quite a lot of money for the consultations and she would weigh me every week, and forbade me to weigh myself any time in between. I actually threw out my scales. I followed the diet to the tiniest detail, and seeing my weight reduce week by week was an amazing incentive. When you weigh yourself every day it's so frustrating, because weight decreases "in chunks", and for several days in between you can be static or even put on some weight despite sticking to the diet. The dietician also drew a chart so i could see the overall weight and how close I was getting to my ideal weight. It took me 3-4 months to lose 18 kg, and I have never looked back. Yes, i can go up or down 3-4 kg, but as soon as i get to my limit weight I reduce portions and stop eating sweets and in 2 weeks max i am back to ideal weight.

You need to find your motivation and what helps you stick with the diet. You WILL get there! best of luck :)

I have woken up feeling different and motivated today. I think I realised that the way I am eating and treating myself is just on a negative spiral and if I don't change my eating habits I will continue to eat more and more food, gain more weight and continue feeling unhappy. I can see that the way I eat is negatively affecting every aspect of my life. Even simple things I used to enjoy like a walk in nature I end up feeling out of breath and tired after a short walk.

@PinglePongle Thank you for the recommendation. I have looked into Slimming World and I think I will follow it loosely. I know a few people who have had success with it including my DM.

@Cinammoncake I think I will try and tackle it on my own for now but if it continues I will go to my GP. I think the biggest problem is that it is a vicious cycle where I comfort eat because I am unhappy and my unhappiness is all caused or at least exacerbated by my weight.

@aurynne That is true and thank you for reminding me of that. I remember being similar at 16 years old when I was slim, if I had a period of over-eating I would just cut out crisps and would lose the weight I had gained as it was only a few pounds. Whereas right now my whole eating needs a complete overhaul. Thank you for sharing your experience, it is really reassuring to hear success stories.