How long did it take your DC to get use to a new sibling?

[sleepdeprived67535]

DS is only 7 weeks old so I know this is all still very new for us all. DD is such a sweet little girl (I know I'm biased being her mum). She was very much a mummy's girl as most of her time is spent with me.
Since having DS at first she reacted quite well and just seemed to ignore him. Now however I can see she is changing and I suppose as I am quite hormonal I am finding it really upsetting. I feel I have lost my sweet little girl. She has start doing things like throwing things at me, painting on things she knows not to, refusing her meals.
I know this is all normal but what I suppose I'm worried about is that I feel like our bond is different. She is starting to prefer DH which I know shouldn't bother me and I'm happy they are close. But she sometimes seems angry towards me. My concern is that we won't go back to being her sweet self with me. I know I sound pathetic.
Just wondered how long it took for your DC to get use to their new sibling and did they eventually become like their old selves again? Hope that makes sense?!

[DownWhichOfLate]

How old is your daughter? In answer to your questions: over a year later older child is beginning to accept younger one; older one has never gone back to being quite the same but maybe that’s because he’s now the big brother and it’s partly my perception. Sorry.

[twinkletoedelephant]

For 19mths DD referred to the twins as 'the brothers' as a collective "the brothers are crying" "the brothers have lost his dummy" she wanted 1 sister.... The arrival of two boys was very very unwelcolme...

It was a very very slow process nursery helped alot with her... 10 years later they all get on well enough....although the year they spent in the same school was very difficult..

[RonMexico]

DD is nearly 6 and her brother is 18 months. She's still adjusting...

[mistermagpie]

I have three kids. The oldest two are 20 months apart and when the second one was born the first one completely regressed. He loved his brother I think, but he wanted to be 'the baby' again and was very hard work. Nothing really dramatic but he became really clingy and anxious and became very fussy and difficult about food and other things. It took about a year for us to be on an even keel and now the two of them are four and two they are the best of friends.

DD is 10 weeks old and I was really worried about her coming in and upsetting the apple cart but she's just slotted right in! I can honestly say I haven't noticed any particular impact of her arrival on the other two. They adore her and are really lovely to her. I can only assume them already having a sibling has made them more accepting.

[Eyebrows2016]

DD is 13 months. We went through a horrible time when she was between 5 and 9 months. DS was an absolute terror and couldn’t be left with her for a moment. He took great delight in trying to push her over as she was learning to sit up. DS absolutely dotes on her now and would do anything for her, give her all his toys and snacks!

[iStruggleWithThePast]

DD was 22 months when DS was born. She was on and off with him.

What helped was still making DD know she was just as important. So if both needed tending to half the time baby would get seen to 1st and half the time DD 1st. Id make a point of saying "Youll have to wait DS, im helping DD with blah blah*

Those few minutes wont affect baby but they matter to the older child. Id also make a massive fuss of DD to the baby " Baby have you seen how nicely DD is playing, baby have you seen DD's beautiful picture etc" She loved that.

She still scratched him the odd time and threw his things etc but its hard for them isnt it

[VillageFete]

How old is your DD?

My DD was a bit When DS came along, even though she was desperate for a sibling! I noticed her acting out a little, being really loud and in your face, basically wanting attention. He was a VERY difficult baby, colic, reflux, tongue tie etc... and it was so hard on her
Anyway, he’s 10 months old now, all his feeding issues are resolved, he’s got loads of personality and DD is really starting to enjoy him. It’s so lovely to watch. These last few months DD has really started to enjoy having him around. The love has definitely grown.

It’ll all work out beautifully. Things will settle and you’ll all find your new normal. I felt so guilty in the beginning, but now I see it’s the best thing that could have ever happened.

[saraclara]

I was lucky. 22 month old DD1 was excited about her new sister and enjoyed helping to look after her. She had little responsibilities. Back then we had medicated powder to put on the umbilicus at nappy change time, and that was DC1's job, which she took very seriously. Apart from a very little bit of attention seeking at feeding times she bonded easily with her sister.

If your DP is more available to her at the moment, it's natural that she'll gravitate to him. Maybe he can take over the baby sometimes to give you special time with DD? And maybe you can get DD involved with helping you with the baby?

[notnowmaybelater]

Dc1 was completely fine with dc2 until he learnt to walk. I just stuck him in a woven wrap and went back to her usual routine. No jealousy at all. When he learnt to crawl she adored him and played that he was her pet dog and he adored her right back and seemed delighted to crawl after soft balls she threw for him

She was quite put out when he walked because she liked having a baby not a rival toddler - she pushed him over a few times.

She got over it and they were inseparable fro the ages of 4 and 2 until 8 and 10. Then DD suddenly started growing up a bit and lost interest and started finding him a bit annoying - luckily he had dc3 to turn to, who'd been a bit left our as a cute but fairly irrelevant third wheel til then (I'd felt I had a twosome and an only even though the gap isn't big) and switched allegiance pretty smoothly.

They still have each others back now they're early teens when it comes to the crunch (for example DD had to go to an orthodontist appointment straight from school and DH and I both had stuff we couldn't get out of at work that day. DD therefore needed to either walk two miles or get a bus from school to the hospital for her appointment and then get a bus from there home. It was a routine check and nothing new but I'd always picked her up and driven her, she's never done the walking or bus routes. She is generally capable and said she was fine to do it but at the last minute she had a wobble and asked her little brother to go with her, and without missing a beat he said "sure" and they did ) but don't generally do much together and find each other more irritating than they did for the first 8 years of DC2s life.

[sleepdeprived67535]

Thanks everyone for your honest replies. Looks like it can take quite a long time. DD is 2.5 years old so she still needs a lot of attention.

[notnowmaybelater]

sleepdeprived67535 I know it's trotted out a lot on here, but have you tried slings? Ideally wrap types. My DD was 24 months when dc2 was born and as soon as I could (I had a cesarean so about day 8) I started putting dc2 in the sling and getting back to dc1's usual routine.

That way the baby is never left but to dc1 it's not much different to the third trimester of your pregnancy when the bump was a bit of a factor but essentially your focus was on her. We went back to all her little groups too and tried to do as much as possible the same way as before dc2 was born.

I know not everyone gets on with slings, but worth a try.