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do you get on with your siblings

66 replies

busyweeks78 · 02/12/2019 09:43

Has your relationship changed as you’ve got older?

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GruntBaby · 02/12/2019 12:21

I've a younger brother and sister, we fought as children but all get on very well now. They're lovely people and their partners are great too. We sort of had to get to know each other again as adults as I'm quite a bit older and so was away during their teenage years.

If anything happened to me and DH, I couldn't think of anyone I'd trust more to look after our children than my siblings.

CardiFree · 02/12/2019 12:49

I find this fascinating as an only. I craved a sibling when I was younger thinking it must be idyllic until I met ex-DH and understood it's not all rosy.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 02/12/2019 12:53

Sadly no, we're like chalk and cheese in every respect and wouldn't speak if it wasn't for the same blood that runs through our veins.

inwood · 02/12/2019 12:57

Nope. My younger sibling has turned her back and is emigrating to the other side of the world soon. We dont speak. All brought on by her.

Kazzyhoward · 02/12/2019 12:57

I "get on" with my brother, in that we don't have arguments, are completely friendly with each other, but we have nothing in common and can go a few years without seeing or talking to each other. B and SIL havn't seen our 17 year old son for, probably, 6 years and have probably only seen him a handful of times since he was born. They live about 30 minutes drive away, but we're well and truly off eachother's "radar". Our only regular communication is Christmas and Birthday cards.

Not quite as bad as my MIL - she and FIL moved house and she didn't tell her brothers (accidentally of course, not intention, same situation, no animosity, just nothing in common and living different lives). When she turned 80, one of her brothers sent a bouquet of flowers, to her old address of course, the one she left 5 years earlier!! She only gets together with any of her family (besides her children) at funerals - they have a catch up for a couple of hours and then go their separate ways again for a few years until the next funeral.

Greenglassteacup · 02/12/2019 12:58

No, never got on from day one

Kazzyhoward · 02/12/2019 13:00

If anything happened to me and DH, I couldn't think of anyone I'd trust more to look after our children than my siblings.

We're the opposite. We had it written into our wills who was to be our son's guardian if anything happened to us. It certainly wasn't any of our siblings, we'd agreed with the mother of our son's best friend that she'd be his guardian and would live with their family. We share the same values so it would have been a far more suitable "fit" than my brother or OH's sister.

CantBelieveImHere · 02/12/2019 13:02

Get on with my eldest brother even through he lives 3 hours away.
Middle brother I am NC with as he is a violent lying Narcissist who likes to rule the roost. Will never be in the same room as him ever again. Feel sorry for his kids but one day when they are older and want to know I will tell them what their father is like.

WooMaWang · 02/12/2019 13:06

@Kazzyhoward The last person on earth (except maybe my father) I'd want to look after my children if I died is my sister. There is absolutely no way that's ever happening.

Clevs · 02/12/2019 13:07

I have two older brothers. One 5 years older than me and the other 11 years older than me.

I've always been close to the older one, both as a child and an adult. The younger one I never got on with as a child but we get on as adults now. The relationship isn't as close as it is with the older one though.

The older one has a similar sense of humour to me and in a similar area of work which is why we get on so well I think.

My two brothers get on, but out of the three of us the best relationship is between me and the older one.

BlackSwanGreen · 02/12/2019 13:10

I get on OK with my brother, but we aren't close and don't see each other often. We text occasionally and send presents to each other's DC. This hasn't changed much in the last 20 years.

Kazzyhoward · 02/12/2019 13:11

The last person on earth (except maybe my father) I'd want to look after my children if I died is my sister. There is absolutely no way that's ever happening.

We were exactly the same. The mere thought of it fills us with horror. Neither my B nor OH's S have been remotely interested in our son since the day he was born. They begrudgingly sent Christmas and Birthday cards, but that's it. Jealously/envy is a horrible thing. OH's sister has 2 children who have both grown up with seriously weird ideas brought on by OH's sister's own weird ideas - they're also jealous of just about everyone and, of course, nothing is ever their own fault - they have self-destructive tendencies, but it's always someone else to blame. There's no way I want my son in that kind of toxic environment.

VanyaHargreeves · 02/12/2019 13:21

I have two

Terrible relationship with eldest - we have never got on. I would go as far as to say I hate her. She has some essential piece of her soul missing.

She often would use our other sister to bully and exclude me but as adults we have managed to develop a separate relationship of our own and I actually really like my other sister but it took us til our 30s to recover a decent relationship due to damage caused by fucked up sister.

It is really hard to have a completely fucked up sibling who presents quite normally to others as what they can ruin for me they will and this includes relations with extended family.

VanyaHargreeves · 02/12/2019 13:25

I don't have children, but hope to, it is s relief to see other posters saying that their sister wouldn't be given their child if it came to it.

The main thing that scares me about becoming a parent is my sister having any access to my child

jimmyjab · 02/12/2019 13:38

I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers and we all get along well. I'm very close to one sister but as a 3 we're all close. My brothers drive me crazy but I do love them!

We all live about 5 mins in the car from each other so we see each other frequently. It can be overbearing!

Gertie75 · 02/12/2019 14:22

My brother is an alcoholic so our relationship is based on whether he's sober, he's an awful drunk and so whenever he's off the wagon I have nothing to do with him, it can sometimes be years, he's sober at the moment so back on the scene and we get on ok, I don't trust him though and he's the most selfish person I know, whether drunk or sober he's only interested in himself.

Orangecake123 · 02/12/2019 14:46

I'm 28- I have a 3 year gap with my brother.We're very close and do actually talk almost every day. He's also a med student so I do complain about having period pain to him.

sister 1- 11 years between us. She feels like my baby in some ways. We talk most days when I phone my mother.

sister 2- 9 years between us- I don't feel like I really know her. She's very quiet and not on social media which makes reaching her harder. I see her whenever I go home infrequently but for short periods of time.I'm going to try a bit harder.

Pericombobulations · 02/12/2019 14:47

Nope, I was e very much unwanted little sister and niether contact me now unless there is an issue with our parent

namechangenumber2 · 02/12/2019 15:08

We get on ok, not particularly close. I only see him when it's an event so someone's birthday or Christmas, I've never seen him without my parents since we became adults!

We're just very different people, he's perfectly pleasant just very career focussed etc. I always hoped he'd have children and then being cousins to my boys would bring us closer. However my children are now 11 and 16 so likely they'll not be close to their cousins as they'll almost be another generation when they're eventually born!

MegaClutterSlut · 02/12/2019 15:23

My mum has 5 dc (I'm the only girl) and we all used to beat the shit out each other when younger but now we're all adults I get on well with everyone although 2 of my brothers don't like each other very much which I find quite sad

busyweeks78 · 02/12/2019 16:59

Sad to see so many others in a similar position to me.

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PhilomenaChristmasPie · 02/12/2019 17:01

Big age gaps in my family, so they're strangers.

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IHaveBrilloHair · 02/12/2019 17:21

God no, can't stand him.

Strokethefurrywall · 02/12/2019 17:36

Yes absolutely - I turned 40 in October and my husband flew my sister (and best friend) over as a surprise (live overseas).

We were also both very close to our beloved younger DS who died a few years back, and now it's just the two of us I think we are closer, at least in terms of keeping each other update on parents lives/health etc.

I can only pray that my two boys are as close as we are.

busyweeks78 · 02/12/2019 22:17

LOvely to see some positive stories to

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