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Is keeping busy no longer a thing?

19 replies

Thenotes · 03/10/2019 20:39

When I was young, when people who were going through a difficult time were asked how they were they'd often say "Oh you know, keeping busy."

If I wa feeling a bit low my mum would find something to occupy my mind.

I even remember being told to do exactly that by a doctor when I was struggling with some bad news.

As an adult, if I'm struggling with life my coping strategy has always been to do something useful or plan a project to distract me.

I completely understand that for serious depression or other mental health issues other measures are needed but for "low mood" or the low feeling that we all have when things aren't going too well for us, is keeping busy no longer a recommended strategy?

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EmpressJewel · 03/10/2019 21:38

I don't know.

But isn't part of the problem with life today is that we maybe we are too busy. For me, it's commuting to and from work, children's homework, housework etc. Plus there is social media, having a work phone etc.

Rather than keeping busy, maybe the answer is to take time to process the issue rather than trying to avoid it.

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 03/10/2019 21:39

It depends - keeping busy can be good, but so can taking a bit of time and dealing with the feelings.

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Drabarni · 03/10/2019 21:41

I'm doing it now as we had some bad news. There's nothing else for me to do, so I'm keeping busy rather than sitting crying and worrying.
I'm a slattern by nature, the house is lovely from top to bottom. My ironing pile has nearly gone, will continue tomorrow.
When it's dry I'm going to do our front paths, they need a good clean.

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funmummy48 · 03/10/2019 21:42

Keeping busy distracts you from thinking about your problems which is fine in some instsnces. However, if it's then being used as an avoidance tactic, then it's not quite so good.

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FudgeBrownie2019 · 03/10/2019 21:42

I don't think keeping busy actually resolves anything, though. It just distracts you temporarily and leaves you exhausted and still grieving, hurt or struggling.

We know more about ourselves, our emotions and our psychology now, and we know that ignoring tough patches results in nothing more than more tough patches. We know better, we do better, that's my motto with mental health.

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Bellasblankexpression · 03/10/2019 21:44

I ended up with PTSD because I kept busy, and it ended up becoming an avoidance tactic after a trauma. I think it can help to a point but it can also be quite harmful

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LisaSimpsonsbff · 03/10/2019 21:45

What makes you think it's no longer a thing? Obviously it's not a treatment for depression, but you acknowledge that. I've heard plenty of people say it recently (I heard a colleague say it earlier this week) and I've also said it myself. I think maybe there's more acknowledgement now that it's not appropriate in every situation, but I definitely think people still think keeping yourself busy so as not to dwell is a valid solution.

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WispyTurnip · 03/10/2019 21:47

With respect, I think that more contemporary MH problems are caused by being overwhelmed by stress from ‘being busy’ than are likely to be ameliorated by it.

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Drabarni · 03/10/2019 21:49

I think it depends what the problem is. If it is something you really can't do anything about it can be a welcome distraction.
Yes, you still have to face the problem, but it can be life's way of getting on with it, carrying on.

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KarenWithTheHair · 03/10/2019 21:55

I have to do both to keep anxiety at bay. Meditation and mindfulness daily and then keeping busy rather than staring at my phone for hours. But keeping busy includes talking to loved ones, exercising and looking after my health generally, not rabid cleaning for hours on end Grin

Sadly I’ve learnt the hard way that keeping calm and carrying on and putting a brave face on can have serious long term consequences.

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BeardPotato · 03/10/2019 22:02

Right now I'm sitting next to my dd in hospital. It took 6h from arriving at A&E to get here. We brought our phones and chargers, but I also brought my knitting, and some crochet for dd.

It's not just that knitting/crocheting gives us something to do in the boredom of all the waiting - phones would do that - but that it focuses the mind on something other than current troubles.

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MsMustDoBetter · 03/10/2019 22:10

I definitely think that distraction helps. However, it's does depend on the person and the distraction.

For me, books and holidays (few and far between) are the distraction. I find housework so mind numbing, relentless and thankless that it's only adds to my depression.

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SalamanderOnHoliday · 03/10/2019 22:17

For long term anxiety and depression, it might be but probably isn’t.

For getting through a bad t8me when you don’t have a severe illness like depression. Then yes I think I a lo5 of cases it can really really help. I think it gives you mind time to start to heal.

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NewAndImprovedNorks · 03/10/2019 22:19

‘A dog needs a job’

Everyone needs something that makes them feel that they are contributing to the world, adding some value, something worthwhile.

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Balula · 03/10/2019 22:28

I'm big on keeping busy, it has lead me to burn out a few times though. It's not easy to just stop when all you've known is keeping going and keeping moving, I hate when people scold me for not resting, I don't know how!

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lljkk · 04/10/2019 19:16

Sometimes thinking more about a problem doesn't help you get to a better solution. Sometimes time away is exactly the right way to find a fresh perspective.

Is thinking too much about a problem a recipe for anxiety?

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Patroclus · 04/10/2019 20:24

Keep busy, ignore your problems and dont address your emotions, what could go wrong?

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Thenotes · 04/10/2019 20:27

The problems pass and things work out for the best ime patroclus.

Over thinking has been the cause of my worst MH crises.

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Ohyesiam · 04/10/2019 20:28

It’s a fine line between distracting or occupying your mind, but feeling your feelings. It’s more acknowledged these days that bottled up feelings cause problems of their own.

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