Returning to work - what to do?

[Mississippilessly]

I will go back to work as a teacher in Sept when DS is a year old. I don't know what to do as work have rejected my application for what I wanted. So my choices are:

1. Return at 4 days a week and keep my middle management position
   

2 return at 3 days a week just as a teacher

1. Dont go back at all
   
2. Do 1 but hope to fall pregnant again soon so it would only be for a year
   

All childcare would be a childminder (if I can find one). My parents want him a day per week but I don't trust them

I know bo one can tell me what to do but want insights would be appreciated.

[Mississippilessly]

Nannies round here are £12 p/h - we would love one but we just cant afford it.
I would be nervous of an au pair with suce a young child but would be keen to hear success stories!

[TwinkleTits70]

What about a Nanny or Au Pair?

[Mississippilessly]

I dont want FT. Fine for ppl who do but I wouldn't want him in childcare 5 days a week.

[RandomMess]

As someone that didn't protect her career I would strongly suggest you do! 4 days per week or FT especially as you plan to have another child.

The right childcare is the key.

[Parker231]

Going back to work 5 days a week is much easier than four as on four days you’ll end up trying to fit in five days work. Also much easier to keep and progress your career. My DT’s went to nursery five days a week from six months and flourished.

[bluechameleon]

After DS1 I went back full time in a very high pressure school for 6 months, which was only tolerable because DH was home full time. Then I got a job 4 days a week with HOD in a school with a lighter workload, with DH also working 4 days a week. After having DS2 I went back 2 days a week and dropped the HOD (DH is still 4 days a week). I am glad I don't have the HOD because there is a new head and her expectations of TLR2s seem to be ridiculous. Financially it makes no difference at the moment because we were all made redundant in a restructuring and I didn't apply for any of the new positions so my salary is safeguarded for two years. But I'm slightly regretting being only 2 days as I'm finding it really hard to actually achieve anything in that time. For September I'm hoping to negotiate 3 days a week. I'm not sure what I want to do longer term - I miss being involved in decision making but I massively struggle to get my work done as it is with a poor sleeping 1 year old and a demanding 4 year old.

[Mississippilessly]

Thanks so much everyone. You're giving us loads to think about.

Echo you are absolutely right. It's hard to picture when they are faceless

[likablum]

What about another option which you haven't considered which is to go back FT.

I have always worked FT and I am HoD English. Dcs are now 8 and 5.

Just putting it on the table as so many people go PT by default.

It's especially important to think about if you are planning on TTC again soon, as you will benefit from full maternity pay again.

[EchoLimaYankee]

A nursery/childcare that you really like will really help with the situation whichever option you chose.

[EchoLimaYankee]

I do 5 days as a HOD. No flex at all around here . I try to see childcare as a evened out thing. Yes, it’s 5 days at a brilliant nursery that DD adores, but it’s also huge amounts of time off in chunks. I console myself with it’s akin to me having a 3.5 day a week normal job.

[Dreamtheimpossibledream]

I am not a teacher but I went back 4 days in a higher level position rather than stepping down, with the expectation of getting pregnant quickly. I really really hope this does not happen to you, but it then took me 4 years and several rounds of IVF. I guess all I am saying is nothing is guaranteed. Juggling the role, a child and all of that was super stressful.
If you can step up again in a few years then I would take the lower level position. It’s hard working with a small child so I vote for making everything as stressfree as possible!

[Mississippilessly]

I haven't.

I asked for the salary for each option. Its 14k difference

So stressed about it!

[Nix32]

What have you decided to do?

[Nix32]

I love my Wednesdays! I never reach the point of exhaustion at work, and it doesn't feel like I have days away from my children. Definitely works better for me than doing 4 days in a row.

[Mississippilessly]

I hadn't thought of wednesdays off, that's a good idea.

Unfortunately DH is a barrister - having a stable, agreed continuous day off would be nigh impossible and if it could be done would really bugger up his career.

[Jackyjill6]

Any chance that your child's father could reduce his hours too? I don't see that you have included it in your options, but it is worth considering

[redastherose]

The baby will be fine! It is worse in the thinking than in actuality when you go back to work after your first. Once you are in the routine you will find that your dc has settled well and enjoys the routine and you are better off than anyone who has to return full time. Plus if you. Intend to have a second ASAP then the mat pay will be much better on 4 days as hod.

[Nix32]

If you do 1, think about having Wednesday off. It would mean that your baby would only be in childcare for two consecutive days, and is a great way for you to work too - a day off is always close!

[Settlersofcatan]

I would do 1. I really enjoy 4 days a week, It's a good balance. My DH also does 4 days - if yours could too, that would mean you weren't doing childcare 4 days

[Mississippilessly]

I wish that was the case. I'd feel ok with that but I cant bear the idea I'd 4 days a week childcare

[wombatsears]

I’m doing option 4 myself. But DD in nursery 2 days and with grandparents other 2. But that means maternity pay will be lower next baby as I’ll be PT.

[SerendipityReally]

If you got pregnant quickly you could be going back for much less than a year.

[SuperHeroGirl]

I went back full time to an SLT position after DD1... lasted 6 months! After DD2, I went back 4 days as a HOD and loved it! Went back full time in September and hate it so much that have made the decision to leave teaching all together at Easter!

[Stylinit]

I’d do 3.

Based on my own experience - I did 4 days in an slt position after dd. It was ok-ish with 1 baby though a tricky balance and I got pg again v quickly (20 month gap). The 4 days was impossible with 2 dc and even 3 days slt didn’t really work. (The childcare aspect was completely fine though & dd thrived.)

I changed jobs to 3 day just teacher and it made the world of difference. Gave me so much more time with my dc, made me a happier person therefore better mum etc.

Dc2 has just started school and I made the mistake of going back to 4 days. I underestimated the extra prep another day in the classroom brings. Thankfully back to 3 days again now and I don’t have to ignore my dc in favour of school work (too much).

If you can make it work financially do less, not more.

[Mississippilessly]

Thanks everyone.
Lots to think about.