Does everyone find teenagers harder than young children?

[beclev24]

I just read a facebook post from a friend who was talking about how awful her teenagers were and how much harder it was than when they were younger. It made for depressing reading.

I have 3 DC aged 8, 5 and 1. All the things she described with her teens- kids being massively overemotional, stroppy, rude, arguing with each other and their parents etc, mine already are! I was so hoping that we could get past the constant high drama when their brains matured a little bit and they had a bit more perspective. Did anyone at all find that parenthood got easier when their kids got older?? Give me some hope!!

[Racecardriver]

I think a lot of people much prefer having teenagers (their children board though but that may just be a coincidence).

[ButtMuncher]

I was a nightmare teenager. My poor mum, I often feel it's one of my biggest regrets although I couldn't have known or controlled it at the time. I was just massive pain in the arse. My brother was a dream in comparison.

I'm at the toddler stage now. It's so exhausting but so exciting too. I'm so going to miss those chubby hands and 'love you mummy' and being literally the centre of his world. But I'm not going to miss the lack of time, the exhaustion, the feeling tapped out because I'm having to keep him entertained. I have a 9 year old DSS and he's a doddle in comparison. Never had too much of a problem with him at all. I suspect my DS will be a bit more like me though

[steppemum]

hmm, every stage has its moments.

All mine went through a crap stage somewhere between 7 and 9. It was a horrible time, lots of boundary breaking and demanding behaviour.

They are also 3 very different people.

I find it hard that we have no evenings, and that I am still dealing with parenting stuff at 10 pm. That is hard on our marriage too.

toddler/kid tantrums are easier in that I could physically pick them up and walk out of the shop, take them to their room etc. Can't do that with a 6'3" teen. The worries are huge too.

But I love the people they are, I love sharing jokes with them, I love no early mornings, and not needing babysitters etc

[14allall41]

Mine range from 12-20. I too long for pre school, parks, play doh and putting them to bed at 7
So many hours spent worrying about them as they struggle with their exam/friendship/future life worries. Mine are not the carefree type and angst over everything. Just when it seems everyone is in an even keel, one of them will throw a curve ball to knock us off balance.

I enjoyed the baby/toddler phase at the time. If I could do it again, I'd try and enjoy it even more knowing that it's the most relaxed time I'm going to have....probably until they're in their 30s!

[beclev24]

Such interesting replies. I guess a lot of it depends on the individual kid’s temperament etc and how hormones etc and also what you actually enjoy as a parent. I know some parents adore playing /making crafts etc with young kids. I am getting better at that stuff but still find it pretty tedious.

I guess ours are also quite challenging/high drama compared to many primary aged kids from what I hear. Lots of screaming tantrums/“I hate yous” and sibling battles at ages 8 and 5 (we also have a 1 year old) so I suppose at least we’ll be used to it when they are teens and it won’t come as a shock

[Lardlizard]

I think this stage is going to be difficult

[LoniceraJaponica]

I don't think it is just temperament, but outside influences as well. Neither DD nor I were prepared for the horrific bullying she endured in year 10. She started self harming and became borderline anorexic.

[Drogosnextwife]

Nothing will ever be more difficult than my ds2 from birth to 18 months. Everything else will be a peice of piss after that unbearable year and a half.

[Roomba]

I'm finding it hard work, and DS is not even dealing with anything too difficult yet (no girlfriends, depression, bullying, peer pressure, exam stress, drugs, alcohol, crime or anything like that). As teenagers go he is marvellous - doing well at school, nice friends, polite to other people, can make small talk with adults etc. But I'm struggling to adjust from having this sweet, smiley little boy who was cheerful and chatted to me about everything - to the grumpy, lazy, unwashed, dismissive, rude one who finds me an embarrassment. I know I have it easy compared to many though.

My six year old is a joy atm. Does as he's asked, eager to help, loves cuddles and talking to me. I picture having two teenagers in a few years who roll their eyes at me and ignore me!

Therws a sweet spot from about 9 - 12 when they are more independent, can entertain themselves, help out at home more and bring you a cup of tea in a Sunday morning. Then the hormones kick in!

[blueskiesovertheforest]

Nothings come close to the absolute body, health and mind destroying experience of extreme sleep deprivation with a toddler who never slept longer than a 2 hour stretch for years combined with a preschool and an infant age child with school runs and no naps.

I enjoyed small children but sleep deprivation, when extreme, is so far the hardest experience of my life.

Atm were definitely in a sweet spot - the kids have been quite easy for a while (currently 13,11, nearly 8). Of course there are worries but there are always worries - on a physical level they're wonderfully independent. They don't fight (mind you they never have - they bicker but it's low level).

In 5 years time I will have 3 teens at once though so I'll consider myself qualified to say which is harder then :o

[ChoudeBruxelles]

Ds is nearly 13 and is basically like a big toddler with sometime better motor skills (he can fall over a pin and injure himself). If he’s hungry or tired he’s like a three year but instead of throwing himself on the floor he stomps off in a strop.

He’s also worried about choosing his options, how he’s doing at school ( he has to get certain grades to be able to do certain subjects). He’s hormonal and i wouldn’t wish puberty on my worst enemy.

On the other hand he can be lovely, caring and helpful. It’s easier that we can leave him alone for a few hours and he’s ok. He can make himself a snack if he wants one.

[thebeesknees123]

My 14 year old is like a big toddler with swearing but when she's calm she's great.

My 10 year old is calmer but starting to copy her.

I enjoyed 7 to 11 most with both.

Didn't like toddler years at all..I like my space too much

[ssd]

Teens are much easier as you are getting a bloody sleep

[beclev24]

yes yes to the sleep deprivation thing. We have a 1 year old at the moment who has had some health problems (nothing serious but it has impacted massively on his and therefore our sleep)- it's that constant background feeling of exhaustion while simultaneously firefighting - will the toddler kill himself if you go to the loo, will the big ones kill each other fighting plus tantrums/ strops/ friendship issues, etc etc plus the sheer grind of doing so much for them in terms of meals, housework, laundry etc. it seems like at least some of those things have to be easier with teens- ie the sleep, the independence, the worry that they might injure themselves if you leave the room for 2 minutes...but agree more 'existential' worry i'm sure

[DownAndUnder]

I have a 5 year old that still regularly keeps me up until the early hours of the morning, he seems a doddle compared to my teenage siblings! Surprisingly you have many of the same battles with teenagers as you do toddlers (hygiene, bedtime). The worry and stress they can cause is 1000 times worse than even the most unruly toddler and they aren’t even cute and loving most of the time to make up for it.

[Mrscaindingle]

The teenage years have been my favourite by a country mile, I found the toddler stage the hardest.
I'm a single parent to 2 boys both of whom have had their issues which definitely do get more serious as they get older but I can see the end in sight and am very proud of how they are turning out. I also love their friends and love it when they come over. There is something so vulnerable about them despite their bravado.

You don't get the cuddles but you do get some time to yourself which is great.