Guest blog: We need to put Sex and Relationship Education on the National Curriculum - for all

[KateMumsnet]

Hello all

An amendment to the Children and Families Bill currently before parliament has been tabled, which would:

1. Add PSHE to National Curriculum;
2. Make age appropriate SRE a statutory component of this curriculum at all 4 Key Stages;
3. Specify that same-sex relationships, sexual violence, domestic violence and sexual consent be part of the curriculum on PSHE

The amendment is backed by the One Billion Rising campaign and other groups including End Violence Against Women, the EQUALS coalition and Women's Aid, and will be debated this coming Tuesday 11th June. Here Lisa Nandy, the Shadow Children's Minister who tabled the motion (along with Sharon Hodgson MP and Stella Creasy MP), explains why the proposals are vital to ensure both young men and women develop positive and equal relationships with each other, and calls on Mumsnetters to contact their MP asking for her/his support.

Tell us what you think here on the thread, and if you blog on this issue don't forget to leave your URL. If you like this post, do spread the word via the share buttons at the top of the page!




"We need to do more to protect children. Recent research by the Children's Commissioner found a shocking number of young people don't know what a good relationship looks like. This should be a wake up call that we are simply not doing enough to keep children safe.

Making clear, high-quality and age-appropriate sex and relationship education part of the National Curriculum is a vital and important step in equipping children with the ability to protect themselves from abuse now and in the future. This is not just about biology - but about helping young people to develop healthy attitudes towards sex and relationships. A recent report by the NSPCC found that a third of girls in relationships aged 13-17 have experienced physical or sexual violence in relationships, while one in 16 of this group reported experiencing rape. Not only are a third of young women experiencing violence and abuse in their relationships but a third of young boys are the perpetrators of this abuse. This is clearly a significant problem.

We need to break the cycle and education is key to preventing it from happening in the first place. With children and young people increasingly exposed to sexual content online and through social media, the need for information has never been greater. According to the Children?s Commissioner, boys as young as 11 are frequently exposed to pornographic images, and the NSPCC reports calls to Childline by teenage boys who are worried about what it is doing to them. There is strong evidence of a link between explicit images and a rise in sexual aggression and harassment of the opposite sex.

Not only does good quality sex and relationships education help protect children from becoming victims of abuse, it will help children develop healthy attitudes which will prevent them from becoming perpetrators of abuse themselves. It is vital that children can make healthy and informed decisions about their lives, and develop the confidence, skills and resilience to make good choices. This is too important to leave to chance.

That is why on Tuesday we will ask the Government to support an amendment to the Children and Families Bill to deliver age-appropriate sex and relationships education in all schools and give teachers the tools they need to deliver it.

Sexual abuse is not inevitable, and we have a duty to do all we can to prevent it. Children and young people have a right to expect that from their Government. Show your support for making Sex and Relationship Education part of the National Curriculum by contacting your MP to ask them to join me in voting for New Clause 20."

[amazingmumof6]

oh ok - can I ask what happened?

[OddSockMonster]

In fact I'm really quite shit at any kind of passive aggressive type stuff.

The nuns at my school may well have taught me to be nice and not to judge, but they did miss out the 'spot the wanker' lessons in life, and I'm only now as a full grown woman really getting to grips with controlling behaviour, and spotting an awful lot in hindsight that I wish I was more aware of at the time.

[amazingmumof6]

oddsock

sorry to hear.

some of my upbringing taught me to be suspicious and confrontational (or maybe that's just me)

can someone roll us into one? we might be perfectly balanced out then?

although I think I'm nice most of the time. (who knows)

[OddSockMonster]

One in particular - my brother's ex, full on DV situation over the course of years (with him as one of those rarely talked about male victims).

All fine (or near enough) now, but he and I could have done with being able to recognise controlling behaviour and how it escalates, before it got to the stage it did.

[OddSockMonster]

I'd happily take on a bit of your suspicion, DH alwas says I'm far too trusting and can't see the bad in people.

[notcitrus]

fallenninja Do I want to change your position? Hard to say. I want all children to learn about bullying from peers and in relationships, that hitting others is wrong, and what the laws say about sex, discrimination, etc. So I want to convince the Dept for Education that it's a good idea and people of varying beliefs have nothing to fear.

Which I believe to be the case, but clearly you dislike the proposal for some reason and it's hard to adapt the proposal to take that into account if I don't know why. I might well agree with you - if for example you think the curriculum is already too crowded, or teachers poorly trained in PSHE might end up doing it so badly that it's counterproductive, etc.

[notcitrus]

flaps I know lots of people my age who think rape in marriage doesn't exist, simply because it wasn't a crime until about the time I left school (1992). Some, like me, were put off marriage by that fact.

amazing completely agree that lots of children could be bored in school by learning stuff they already know about - that's why I asked if you HEd as that's the only way to avoid that totally. But any subject if taught well is worth going back to and you can learn more detail and ensure you haven't got holes in your knowledge, whether that's phonics in Reception, human reproduction in primary and later at GCSE, nature of relationships all through life, or me going on an open-top bus tour of London - learnt nothing new but they told the story well and my friends learnt a lot.

[amazingmumof6]

notcitrus
I still don't think forcing "knowledge" on children who might be not ready to learn things or are too sensitive etc is the right thing.

that is actually whay I would call bullying. and even more sinister because this kind of bullying comes disguised as "help".

I suggest people go back to reading the Bible.
by the time they are done, they would have learnt enough about pretty much all the aspects of human nature that can be described -both good and evil of it- that there will be little precious else to add.

what do you want to learn or teach your children about?
everything that is worth knowing or considering is already listed, plus a whole lot of stuff we'd rather avoid hearing or knowing about!

In fact I can't think of a simpler set of rules and guidance for life then the 10 commandments.
if only people followed those rules, even if not fully!

And the best thing is that people don't have to be Christians or even belivers to just read the Bible once!

They just need to be open minded - which is precisely what a lot of people claim to be!

and one more thing for all to ponder :According to the Bible the first child who was ever born on this Earth ended up murdering his only brother.
what does that tell you?

[Flisspaps]

But the NC information will be age appropriate - as is all the other info in there.

There is also a problem with people thinking 'my kids aren't ready to hear this' and actually, they ARE, and they need to.

I assume you follow all of the bible's guidance, including that on not eating shellfish, women covering their head (or cutting off their hair) or wearing mixed fibres?

[youarepricelessforme]

What don't we teach our children that sex outside a marriage is a sin that violence is not tolerated that men are made for women and women are made for men. Porn is bad and should be banned from the Internet and magazines instead of introducing it to young children under the cause of sex education.

[amazingmumof6]

flisspass age appropriate? by whose standards or POV?

no teacher can possibly have better knowledge of what is age appropriate for our kids then their parents!

what doesn't bother my 6 year old my 8 year old can't look at, so let me be the judge of what and when they are ready to hear or see!

why people are so ready to abandon their own instincts and trust a teacher ( some of whom are not even parents) is beyond me.

where do yoy think these people get their information from? I'd be really worried if they could speak about the dangers of drug abuse from experience for example!
But I doubt that is the case, so whatever study material they are given I should be given the same information so I can decide own behalf of my kids.

btw you are being challenging about what I do or don't do as regarding to the teachings of the Bible - challenge not accepted.

[ninani]

Forming good relationships in a family or relationship can be taught by parents as well. In the western world you see so many unplaned teenage pregnancies because sex is shown and promoted everywhere, including schools were children are taught that their genitals "feel nice when touched" as early as Y1 (we were shown the video).

And for goodness sake, why are 13 year olds allowed to come home many hours after school, wandering around aimelessly on the streets and without any control, spend the night out and form relationships? What does even a 15 year old know about how to trust someone? Teenagers playing and shouting in buses being rude and inconsiderate to others. Most of them lack basic manners. How can they form relationships? You can let a small child to pretend cooking but you can't let someone so immature to try his luck within a relationship.

I think if parents exercised some more over their children it would be a lot better. Including drinking which causes so many unplanned pregnancies too. Why aren't parents involved in their children's lives but expect the school to do everything for them?

[amazingmumof6]

niani

Why aren't parents involved in their children's lives but expect the school to do everything for them?

exactly! why indeed

[Flisspaps]

If parents were doing this stuff then schools wouldn't have to step in. It is because parents don't bother, or omit information, or lie, or get things muddled, that this is needed.

I'd be happy for someone with experience to talk to my child - especially about the dangers of things like drugs.

I only asked if you did as the bible says in other areas as to me, if you are going to follow the teachings of the bible then that should be without selectivity, that's all.

[amazingmumof6]

ok so by your logic I should be slaughtering goats as well.

I think you are missing the point

[Tortington]

sick to the back teeth of the govt pushing agendas through schools, like they haven't got enough to bloody do

i tell you what you tory twats, why not invest in schools, why not invest in teachers? A bigger societal change will happen all round when children do not think they are worthless pieces of shit who have no chances of getting a fucking job due to tory badgerfucking arseholes.

successive governments have disenfranchised young people in society

and YOU tory bastards, think that by teaching kids to be nice to each other and to not be violent towatrds women - that is going to help?

i beg to fucking differ you short sighted headline grabbing twats.

invest in education

and deliver things like this - how to treat other people with decency and respect through an educational programme for parents - compulsory if you are to receive child benefit.


parents should be taught how to feed their children healthy meals, how to teach their children to be respectful and decent towards other people. parents should make sure their children get enough exersize, parents should teach religion, parents should make sure that they are fucking parenting.

but no, becuase that requires investment - and off you fly to fucking billderberg to secret meetings with your rich fucking buddies you elite bastards running the word from your own billionaire perspectives. twats.

THIS. THIS against a backdrop of headlines about soldiers being fast tracked to teaching

some WWII throwback bullshit initiative to get our classrooms in order

no, what would get the classrooms in order - is investment - not fast tracking trained killers to teach out fucking children.

try making class sizes smaller you utter planks. stop changing the curriculum, stop inventing new initiatives like 'academies' stop proposing new fucking exams and exam criteria.

is it not bad enough that poor children, kids of the plebs, can't afford to go to uni without being in debt for the rest of their natural fucking days?


Invest, invest, invest. stop swapping things around for a headline.

[amazingmumof6]

custardo now there's a disturbing image - soldiers teaching sex ed to teenagers.

oh dear

[MmeLindor]

Custardo
This initiative is actually from other groups such as those who work with victims of DV. If we left it up to the government, our kids would still be fobbed off with vague 'birds and bees' explanation of where babies come from.

Amazingmum
I was brought up as a Christian, and up to a few months ago would have described myself as one. Recently, I have come to question my faith, and would no longer do so.

Why should my children be taught about the bible? Surely that is my decision to make?

[OddSockMonster]

I don't vote Tory but I think it's the amendment's a good idea, is that allowed Custardo? And as it goes, I agree education needs investment, and teachers should be properly valued for the work they do. The current government's attitude towards them stinks.

But teachers are in a position where they can impart invaluable advice to all children, including the ones where the parents can't / won't help their children, and I would argue these are the children who need this sort of advice through other avenues far more than those in families where parents are informed and willing.

And amazingmumof6, I went to Catholic school till 18, had the Bible pouring out of my ears (though am now a happy aethiest), and it still left me and my siblings unprepared for the sort of real world issues outlined in the above amendment. You might be able to find your answers in the Bible, and faith schools might well be able to address tricky issues with reference to their own good books, but it would still be a really valuable thing to include within cirricula, to ensure it at least gets discussed.

[Flisspaps]

I'm not a big fan of the troops to teachers programme, but those participating will have to complete a degree and teacher training in just 2 years, so they'll have to qualify first, not just go in fresh from the battlefield.

Not sure why you'd be concerned about them teaching your children sex-ed though amazingmum over any other subject or teacher.

Custardo - this programme should be implemented alongside mass investment in education, more teachers, and evidence-based ideas rather than Gove's latest half- baked rose-tinted scheme. I do think there is a place for this though.

[bumbleandbumble]

this kind of teaching is an absolute must in the national curriculum. and should be compulsory!

it would benefit the entire of society and provide decent information to all young people, whether it is backed up at home by the parents or not, it would be there for all. Knowledge is power and will start the ball rolling for change...these statistics are horrifying!

If parents do not like what is being taught in these sex/relationship classes...Then too bad! They have the right to home school and have total control over how and what their children learn. Parents also have the right to discuss their beliefs with their children and enforce them at home.

Amazing mum---you have every right to discuss what was taught in the sex education class and contradict it. "Yes darling although Mr.X, your teacher said that gay relationships are ok, we believe in the Bible and do not think they are ok. We believe sex is always between a man and woman. This is the only truth you need to know"...or whatever. You can tell your children what you want.

But the rest of the children need this information!

[TheFallenNinja]

Bumble

So your answer is your way or the highway.

[TheFallenNinja]

Where does this notion come from that children need protecting form their parents views? What arrogant individuals sign up to some
Of the utter nonsense spouted in this thread.

What are they teaching teachers? Do they truly believe that they can save us from ourselves And our own foolish ignorance?

I'll consider these types of things when we cease entirely to have children who spend their entire time in school and come out with fuck all, can't read or do simple arithmetic because the political wing of teaching is spending more time wondering how and who people are fucking rather than getting their house in order.

[Flisspaps]

When the parents views are discriminatory, prejudiced or just plain misguided, that's when kids need protecting.

Again, it comes back to the point that if we all teach our children everything they need, the full facts, without omission, then the government wouldn't need to consider this. It's not just about sex, it's about much, much more. There's nothing to stop this going alongside what you teach at home, but this will fill in the gaps.

[bumbleandbumble]

Ninja- this is not a discussion about the entire state of education and the schools role in society. Of course schools and teachers need improvements, investments, overall...but that is another debate.

Here we are discussing the role of sex ed. Yes it should be taught. And yes it this way or the highway. If you hate your school and feel it is not helping your children, then take them out. Move, or home school.

The point is that this type of education is in my opinion every bit as important as reading writing maths science...Forming normal relationships and respecting others and the opposite sex is a vital part of becoming a mature and responsible adult.

If the entire school system is still failing its children, then that is something else to be worked on, but the curriculum should still be the same and include this information.