AMA with author Hadley Freeman - Tuesday 23rd

Hi everyone! So sorry for being a bit late - I had to do a TV thing this afternoon and have so much make up on my face I look like Jack Nicholson in Batman. There's a visual for you. Please do ask me anything - I'm really looking forward to this x

Ahh thank you so much, @AMuser - so kind of you

Thank you so much @PatriciaHolm
Yes, that's a tough one. My oldest ones are seven so they have seen the book and asked what anorexia is, as it's on the cover. For the moment, I've said it's an illness I had when I was young. I've mentioned before to them that I was ill because they've asked me why my hair is so thin and patchy. But I haven't gone into more detail. I think when they're about 10 or so I'll talk about it a bit more, but it is something I wonder (and worry) about a lot

Thank you @GreenSalon !
It still, I'm afraid, serves a purpose for me, mainly in showing my stories I might otherwise miss, but also in providing some welcome procrastination occasionally. Procrastination gets a bad reputation but it's an invaluable part of my working day tbh. And no, I don't find it hard to stay on Twitter, mainly because I am very generous with the muting and blocking buttons.

Oh dear @Zhx3 , I'd advise her to try something else!
But if she really is dead set on entering a profession that is in - at best - a state of managed decline, I'd advise her to do as much writing as she can. I'm guessing your daughter is still at school, so she should join her school paper, or start her own, if need be, and do the same at uni. It's the only way she'll know if she actually likes it, plus she'll have something to show future employers. Also to try all kinds of writing - news, features, interviews, sport, anything. And then apply for internships at newspapers and magazines when she's old enough.
But I really feel like I'm encouraging a bad habit here...

Thanks so much @Allezvite
There's a chapter in my book about what to say and not say to an anorexic, that you might find helpful, called 'Anorexiaspeak.'
But in short, no, you're not overthinking it. Don't say anything about how they're looking, any positive comment - especially "you're looking well" - will be taken as "you're looking fat." No questions about food or weight either. You can ask her about what her days are like in hospital, has she read any good books, been able to watch any films - but talk also about what's going on in the outside world. If you have a daughter of the same age, you can mention what she's up to. It's good for her to know what she's missing out on by being ill. Just remember, you're not there to cure her, and chances are you will say something that she takes the wrong way. It's the nature of the illness. You're going to show her that she hasn't been forgotten, and she will appreciate that, even if she doesn't show it.

I am so sorry @Einevinefine for what you and your daughter are going through. You are both in a living hell.
Is she under any medical supervision at all? And is she dangerously underweight? Because if she is a danger to herself, which it sounds like she is, medical services can intervene. If her weight is so low that her brain isn't functioning properly, it's impossible to talk to her. But if she is able to engage with you, I always advise parents to talk to the anorexic about what they're missing out on by being ill. Try to persuade her to do things with you out of the house, even if it's just a trip to the park or the cinema, anything to show her that the world is not anorexia, but also that if she doesn't get herself together, she will waste her life on anorexia. I only got my insight when I saw a woman 15 years older than me crying over butter, and I realised I did not want that to be my life; I know other girls who got better when nurses told them about what fun things they did over the weekend. The anorexic needs to be coaxed up out of the ocean of illness and have a gasp of air.
But I really feel very strongly that you shouldn't be going through this on your own - you need professional help. Can you persuade her to see a therapist? She doesn't want her life to be like this forever, even if she says she does.
Good luck, I'll be thinking of you x

Thank you @YouTarzan that's very kind of you. It doesn't feel brave, tbh. It just feels like stating the bleeding obvious

Thank you @weebarra I really appreciate that.
Yes, I do think things are changing a little in that more organisations, such as sports ones, are rejecting the illogical extremes of gender ideology, and the Cass Report is huge, of course. And yes, I do think the disproportionate number of teenage girls expressing gender dysphoria is very telling that there's a crossover with anorexia in particular. There is a section in my book on this, which includes interviews with 2 doctors former with GIDS