I'm a British Born Pakistani - AMA

[Pyracantha1]

Hello All!

I'm a British Born Pakistani. Please ask me anything. Should it be about our culture, traditions, marriages, Asian food etc. I'll try my best to answer

[Pyracantha1]

No one?

[LighthouseSouth]

You mean you were born in Britain, but raised and living in Pakistan?

[NotMyCircusMonkeys]

Do you follow a religion? Do you live in an area with a high proportion of people from your culture? Would you say that you and your family are fully integrated with the local community?

[nervousnails]

Hi OP! Do you follow cricket? Is it true that almost all Pakistanis follow the game closely? I know that Indians do. Never asked a person of pakistani origin. I have more questions

[Everytimeiseeher]

Hi!
My partner had emigrated to the Uk from Pakistan. Ive learned to cook for him a few dishes. Can you recommend where to learn to cook? There’s no MIL or sisters to ask for help!?

[Sandsnake]

Where in Pakistan are your family from? Do you go back there often? What are your thoughts on the country?

[FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast]

don't you feel British rather than Pakistani, if you were born and raised here? I mean do you feel both?

[Pyracantha1]

don't you feel British rather than Pakistani, if you were born and raised here? I mean do you feel both?

I thought I will start here. I very much feel British and this is my country. However I also feel a very strong connection to Pakistan as I was raised with a lot of the traditions, culture and foods from there.

I would always call myself British, however one thing that has always bothered me to a certain extent is that I am always labelled a British Pakistani. Whenever ethnicity is asked on any forms I have to tick the British Pakistani box, as I am definitely not British White (another label on the forms).

[Pyracantha1]

You mean you were born in Britain, but raised and living in Pakistan?

Born and bred in Birmingham, but with a Pakistani heritage through my parents

[Pyracantha1]

Do you follow a religion? Do you live in an area with a high proportion of people from your culture? Would you say that you and your family are fully integrated with the local community?

I am a Muslim and follow Islam.

I live in quite a mixed area, with a large foreign population. However most of the foreigners are Russian, French etc. However I was brought up in Birmingham which has a large Pakistani population.

Growing up I wouldn't say we were fully integrated. But that's not for the reasons that you might think. My parents owned a corner shop and had friends from all communities but then they stared going through a bitter divorce that went on for years. Through circumstance my mother just worked all god given hours and we didn't really have time to integrate or socialise.

Now that I have my own home and family (2 kids) I would say that I am very integrated.

[Pyracantha1]

Hi OP! Do you follow cricket? Is it true that almost all Pakistanis follow the game closely? I know that Indians do. Never asked a person of pakistani origin. I have more questions

Hi! I was cricket mad!! Growing up my dad passed the love of the game on to me. I remember spending entire days watching cricket and recording them over several cassettes!

Well most Pakistanis love cricket, however my husband and his family are football mad.

[Pyracantha1]

Hi!
My partner had emigrated to the Uk from Pakistan. Ive learned to cook for him a few dishes. Can you recommend where to learn to cook? There’s no MIL or sisters to ask for help!?

Hello! I love Pakistani food and learnt a lot from my mother and also the internet! I usually find recipes online and then write down the ones that worked well. YouTube is a great learning resource also.

Also when I go out to eat Pakistani/Indian food I try to work out the ingredients of the dish and observe what combinations work well together, so that I can try it at home.

[Unknown5432]

Do you prefer British food or Pakistani?
Also what clothes do you prefer to wear traditional or say jeans and T-shirt etc

[Pyracantha1]

Where in Pakistan are your family from? Do you go back there often? What are your thoughts on the country?

So my father is from Azad Kashmir but was predominately raised in Jhelum (Punjab) before he came to the UK and my mum is Pathan. Her father is from Hazro (Punjab but close to Khyber Pakhtunkhwa) and her mother was from Afghanistan who immigrated to Karachi when she was a couple of years old. My mother was born in Sindh but at age 11 they moved to Rawalpindi and that became home

[LighthouseSouth]

Why do you describe yourself as Pakistani when you were born and raised in Britain?

Do you realise the trouble caused by this attitude for people like me - British, born and raised here, parents from another country - and people refuse to see me as British because a) skin colour and b) people like you describe themselves in the context of their parents history instead of their own?

No wonder people are confused, pissed off and frustrated. You are British.

I've just had one of those pre census forms come through - they ask what you think they should ask, amongst other things.

I said "please stop asking about ethnic origin as it causes issues with British people being seen as British".

You said "ask me anything". Are you the sort of person that calls me a coconut? That says "but where are you REALLY from" when I've already answered the question?

[SemperIdem]

As someone who identifies with both British and Pakistani culture, what do you feel an example of the best and worst tradition or norm from each would be?

[Pyracantha1]

Where in Pakistan are your family from? Do you go back there often? What are your thoughts on the country?

Opps pressed post without completing to answer all the questions.

When I was younger I would visit Pakistan nearly every year. Over the last decade I probably have gone back twice.

Pakistan is a very beautiful country. There are mountains, lakes, deserts, forest and woods. You can start off in the north and are amongst the highest mountain ranges in the world (Pakistan has the second highest mountain in the world) and as you travel south you pass the agricultural lands, and more south the deserts of sindh. It really is breathtaking.

Of course politically the country is in disarray. There is a lot of electoral fraud which prohibits modern and forward looking parties from doing well. The wealth gap is stark. You have the Uber rich and the super poor. The infrastructure needs a lot of work and socially the burden of the poor falls on the middle classes.
A lot of the younger generation study and leave the country for countries like the UK and USA, which means Pakistan doesn't benefit from them.

[TimeIhadaNameChange]

I've sent you a PM. Hope you don't mind.

[Pyracantha1]

Do you prefer British food or Pakistani?
Also what clothes do you prefer to wear traditional or say jeans and T-shirt etc

If by British you mean fish and chips then yes!! However I do find a lot of the British food bland (that's where my maggi chilli sauce comes in!). At our house we eat a mixture of things. Italian food is a big hit as well as some British classics with a Pakistani twist. So for example we love pasties at our house, but I'll make the filling with spicy Pakistani minced meat, sweet corn and cheese.

I predominately wear western clothing. It's just so comfortable and what I'm used to. I do wear shalwar kameez by often on special occasions or when I'm visiting Pakistani friends for lunch/dinner at their house

[Everytimeiseeher]

Lighthousesouth. Fgs there’s always one on a thread that has to get confrontational.

The op is describing themselves as British born but from Pakistani heritage no?

You’re coconut phrase is out of order implying rasism. Calm down.

[Pyracantha1]

Do you realise the trouble caused by this attitude for people like me - British, born and raised here, parents from another country - and people refuse to see me as British because a) skin colour and b) people like you describe themselves in the context of their parents history instead of
I said "please stop asking about ethnic origin as it causes issues with British people being seen as British".

You said "ask me anything". Are you the sort of person that calls me a coconut? That says "but where are you REALLY from" when I've already answered the question?

People like you? Or people like us? I don't choose to be labelled a British Pakistani. I would happily call myself British, but unfortunately every step of the way I'm reminded that I'm not just British but a British Pakistani. Rather than feel rejected by this constantly I have began to embrace it. It doesn't cause problems in my opinion. However I would like you very much prefer if I wasn't labelled as such.

Why would I view you as a coconut? you are free to be whoever you are. That's the best thing about being British. You have the freedom to do what you want, when you want and say what you want.

[Nuttyella7]

OP I completely get where your coming from. I feel the same. I was brought up within a very cultural family being 2nd generation British Pakistani. However where I am multilingual my DC only speak English although they understand our lingo, plus I have brought them up with an equal balance of my heritage and British values as this country has been my home since birth and will be the same for my DC too.

Im with you on the labelling, it is a constant reminder that we will never be accepted as completely British no matter how much we integrate. Growing up I faced a lot of racial abuse from all ages, and there was a very very obvious divide, White played with whites at school and Asians stuck to their own. Thank god society has become more tolerant which makes it less worrying for my DC who are friends with all races as I encourage it and racism is tackled with more severity now then it was with me growing up. I am in my mid 30’s now. Teachers at my school were racist too, they smirked when white kids were racist to us so it left us with nowhere to really turn. If we did complain we were told to ignore it and grow a thick skin. From a very young age I have felt like I don’t belong at times due to the racism and being judged sometimes due to the crimes and actions of Pakistani people. My neighbours and friends are all great and know they can openly ask me anything that bothers them. I’m not ashamed of being Pakistani as well as British but sometimes I feel like I am being judged as a traitor for not giving up my roots.

So if British Pakistanis feel closer to their roots it is mainly because there we feel we belong and will always belong due to our roots.
Although in a funny way if our relatives or friends from Pakistan criticise Britain in any way or make fun of British culture on Facebook or directly towards us (I can’t say this for everyone but) it really annoys me. I feel personally offended and feel a loyalty to defend Britain.

[LighthouseSouth]

"The op is describing themselves as British born but from Pakistani heritage no? "

That's exactly what she didn't do.

Those tend to be the people who call me a coconut, yes.

[Pyracantha1]

As someone who identifies with both British and Pakistani culture, what do you feel an example of the best and worst tradition or norm from each would be?

British Best- I feel free, empowered and I know my fate is in my hands only. There's social justice, the law is applied equally regardless of who you are and we look after our most vulnerable.
British Worst- closet Racists or more open racism since brexit and the trumps presidency. Plus individualistic society.

Pakistani Best- the colours, the food, families looking out for one another. Respecting your elders.
Pakistani worst- social injustice, lack of law, not looking after the vulnerable. Corrupt politicians.

[LighthouseSouth]

OP cross post

You would happily call yourself British - great! So why don't you? Is it because of the people who keep on "where are you REALLY from?"

Don't give in to them. We're British. That is all.

But then why start a thread like this at all? We're British. Now let's crack on with being British. Also your title description made no sense whatsoever.