A plea for help for feminists from a trans widow

[DJLippy]

makemorenoisemanc.wixsite.com/mysite/post/a-plea-for-help-for-feminists-from-a-trans-widow

A handy how to guide from a trans widow on what women can do to support trans widows.

[OohthatlovelyNigelfromBabyClub]

I thought that even the TRA movement recognised referring to MTF parents as Mothers was a step too far. I'm sure I read that Kaitlyn Jenner's children use the same term of endearment as they did before.

[GirlDownUnder]

Excellent, clear (if heart rending) article, thanks DJ, and really good to see the @TinselAngel ‘Trans Widows escape committee’ thread linked.

[GirlDownUnder]

referring to MTF parents as Mothers was a step too far

I believe Morgane Ogre refers to themselves as ‘mum’

[SeaWitchly]

Great article, thanks for sharing

[LangCleg]

This is completely brilliant. Thanks to the wonderful woman who wrote it.

Don’t exclude some women from feminism in the interests of inclusiveness. Imagine seeking support from other women, only to find that your husband or father had got there first?

Please everybody: think on this.

[ArnoldWhatshisknickers]

Don’t call my ex “she” when you talk about him to me. Call him what you like when you speak to him, but describing him with female pronouns to me, makes my life not make sense and my daughter’s life not make sense.

This is such an important article.

Too many people forget that relationships exist between people, plural. One person does not get to unilaterally change the rules, the history because they decide to perform sexist stereotypes of the opposite sex.

This heterosexual woman married a heterosexual man who fathered her child. She did NOT marry an MTF, she married a man. Her relationship was NOT 'queer', it was heterosexual.

It is not for others, who were never in that relationship, to tell her what it was.

[Joisanofthedales]

Such a great article. I especially hadn't thought through how women supporting AGPS in their delusions excludes trans widows from the support they deserve.
When my 29 year marriage failed for a plethora of unpleasant reasons the straw that broke the donkeys back was him cross dressing and wearing my knickers.
to all the brave and stunning transwidows and their children who are struggling out there.
Brava to you all.

[TinselAngel]

I've asked for the link to the trans widows thread to be removed and MMN have very kindly agreed.

[GirlDownUnder]

Oh sorry TinselAngel I initially thought it was good that the thread was being signposted, but I can see why you’d possibly want it removed as a potential dog whistle to a pile on. Which sucks.

[OohthatlovelyNigelfromBabyClub]

I believe Morgane Ogre refers to themselves as ‘mum’

So much disregard for the person you chose to have children with. I don't imagine we'll see any transmen called Dad.

[TinselAngel]

A couple of women on the trans widows thread recently have said their ex's are asking their kids to call them "Mum".

[OnlyTheTitOfTheIceberg]

Absolutely brilliant article.

Defend our use of the term “Trans Widow” as some people question its appropriateness.

It becomes more apparent by the day that only one group are allowed to self-identify, and it ain't women.

[TinselAngel]

Oh sorry TinselAngel

No worries @GirlDownUnder. I agree that's it's a shame it has to be that way.

[emerencemaybehopeful]

A person I know who transitioned late has recently posted about how exciting it is that a daughter is now back in contact and that an upcoming grandchild will have this person as a grandmother, never having known them as anything else.

And I lost the last vestiges I'd respect I felt for the individual. The wife lost so much and now she is losing her title too?

[CloudRusting]

That’s very helpful. I was actually wondering yesterday how best I would support someone in this situation.

[Birdsfoottrefoil]

I don't imagine we'll see any transmen called Dad

Apart from Guardian journalists and their court case to try and falsify their child’s birth certificate?

[ArnoldWhatshisknickers]

Transmen who suddenly decided to transition after they had children who had been calling them mum for years are vanishingly rare so there are very few equivalent trans widowers.

[Eggotchi]

This article is very much how i've felt. I now have court orders(still ignored!) saying that he isn't to refer to himself as the children's mother/mum/mummy. I can cope with lot, but I will not have my role diminished in that way, nor should any mother.

[ArnoldWhatshisknickers]

Eggotchi

I am sorry your ex husband is ignoring the court orders, but relieved to hear the courts have issued them. No mother should be undermined like this and no child should have their sense of self and their place in the world undermined like this.

It is beyond vile.

[OohthatlovelyNigelfromBabyClub]

@TinselAngel that is just grim. Just been and had a glance, hadn't seen the second thread. So sorry to you all.

[BlytheSpiritsSpirit]

Much love and support to all women facing this heartrending situation - to have the weight of society behind an abusive perpetrator dismantling the reality of your and your children's lives? Unbearable.

[TinselAngel]

It would be good if people thought of this article whenever our transsexual "allies" try and walk all over feminism.

[MoleSmokes]

Have you all seen this new site? It has articles both serious and funny:

thetranswidow.com

The serious ones are very good but, for a bit of light relief:

thetranswidow.com/2019/08/06/queer-theory-glossary/

[TinselAngel]

Shame Bewilderness isn't credited on there for the rules of misogyny.