The Star: A Christmas Story

[neonLadybird]

Gulp.
This is my first effort at creative writing since I left school about 100 years ago, so please be gentle with me!

I hope you like it.

[neonLadybird]

Chapter 1: Thursday 20th December
Laura came to suddenly when the front door slammed; she had been sitting at the kitchen table trying to make lists, and had drifted off into a daydream. That happened a lot, these days.
?Hi Mum!? her son Jake called out cheerfully from the hall. She listened for the inevitable thud as his overloaded rucksack landed at the foot of the stairs.
?Hi love, how was school??
?All right. Have we got anything to eat??
Laura smiled wryly. She should know better by now; any enquiries about school usually elicited only the briefest of responses. After what had happened last year she had expected him to go off the rails, had even braced herself for it, but the support they had had from school was fantastic. She was in regular contact with his tutor and knew he was doing well. It was one less thing to worry about, anyway.
?You can have some biscuits and milk. But not too many ? dinner won?t be long?.
She studied him as he raided the biscuit tin and the fridge; at twelve, he was almost a head taller than her, his long gangly limbs inherited from his father, Ben, but his dark brown hair and hazel eyes were hers. Sometimes it hurt her to look at him, this man-boy of hers, a constant reminder of what she had lost one cold dark rainy night in December.

[neonLadybird]

She shook herself from her reverie and became practical again. ?As soon as you?ve finished your snack, homework.?
?OK mum?. He was already gone, into the front room. Presently she heard the TV turned on, tuned in to his favourite channel.
Over dinner (sausages, mash, baked beans ? she used to love to cook, but somehow she hadn?t really the heart these days) they discussed plans for the forthcoming weekend.
?I?m going to Henry?s ? he?s got that new Sonic game and he said I could stay for tea?.
?How are you going to get home?? This was a thorny subject. She was nervous of him walking home in the dark, crossing busy roads by himself. She knew it was ridiculous, that he was perfectly capable of walking himself home at 5pm on a Saturday, but still... ?Do you want me to pick you up??
?Nah, Henry?s Dad will give me a lift I expect.?
?Well if he can?t, just call me and I?ll come and get you. Make sure you take your phone with you as well.?
?OK. What are you going to do all day??
?Well, I?ve got the Christmas shopping to finish ? that?ll take most of the morning. And in the afternoon I?ve got to get the decorations down out of the loft ? when do you want to put them up? Sunday??
?Sure. I still don?t understand why you don?t do your shopping online, Mum. Everyone else does. You can get it delivered and everything. I could set it up for you if you like.?
He had the uncanny ability to make her feel like a total Luddite. ?You know I prefer to see what I?m buying. I like to check the quality.? And anyway, she thought but did not say, I?m so useless with computers it would probably take me twice as long to do it online. And I?d be sure to be one of those people who got a virus, or had her credit card details stolen. These things just seemed to happen to her.
?Thanks for dinner Mum.? He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. It pleased her that he wasn?t yet at the stage where physical affection embarrassed him. He still surprised her with big spontaneous hugs and an ?I love you, Mum?. That was something else he had inherited from Ben.
?Right, you can have half an hour on the computer, then it?s bedtime. OK?? She ruffled his hair.
?OK. Thanks Mum?.

[neonLadybird]

Later that night, trying to get to sleep, she found her thoughts drifting to Ben again. She missed him so much. They had married young, straight out of University, and had spent the next eight years holidaying, having riotous dinner parties with friends, and just generally enjoying being together. They hadn?t planned Jake, but when Laura found out she was expecting him they were both overjoyed. Finally forced to curb their wild ways, they revelled in setting up home in their tiny two-bed terraced cottage in the suburbs, decorating with more enthusiasm than skill. His arrival cemented them as a family, they felt safe, solid, a unit of three. They hadn?t needed anyone else.
Until that night almost a year ago. A Saturday, late December. Laura, typically disorganised, had forgotten stuffing for the turkey. Ben had volunteered to go to the local corner shop, and she had gratefully accepted. He was half way home when the car screeched around the corner, out of control on the wet street, and ploughed into him, killing him instantly. The driver, a middle aged businessman still hung over from the previous night?s office party, had got six months.
There had been no decorations that year. Stunned and disbelieving, Laura and Jake had been gathered up by her parents and spirited to their house, and spent the whole of Christmas huddled together on the sofa, each alternately crying or comforting the other. Those first few dreadful days, followed by the funeral on a bleak January morning, were still something of a blur. It took six months for Laura to feel as if she was awake properly, and only recently had she felt as though she had some sort of a future beyond just existing. Jake had helped of course, confused, hurt and bewildered though he was, somehow he retained his optimism and zest for life, and she had to keep going for his sake.
It was going to be hard, though, going through all the familiar rituals for the first time since Ben?s death. But she knew this was a milestone that had to be faced. I?ll get through this, she thought, and the next time it won?t be so bad. With that thought, she finally drifted off to sleep.

[neonLadybird]

Chapter 2: Saturday 22nd December
Battling her way through the insanely crowded supermarket with a severely overloaded trolley, trying to avoid psychopathic shoppers who seemed determined to ram her out of the way, Laura reflected that perhaps Jake was right; she really should get to grips with this Internet shopping thing. Why had she left it to the last minute again? Because she was disorganised, and scatty, and to be perfectly honest she was dreading the whole Christmas ritual and wanted to put it off for as long as possible.
Reaching the huge queue at the checkout, she breathed a sigh of relief. Not long now and she would be back at home, safe and alone. Jake had gone, throwing down his breakfast at top speed, to Henry?s for the day. Maybe she could catch up on last Sunday?s newspapers ? she never seemed to have the time to read all the supplements in one day. No, wait, there were still the decorations to get down from the loft ? a dangerous business at the best of times; they would have to be inspected for damage, the fairy lights checked for missing bulbs, the tree, which the garden centre had delivered yesterday, must be put in its bucket and weighted down. She sighed again; these had all been Ben?s jobs, now she would have to tackle them herself. It was a good job the tree was only a 4-footer; no way could she have tackled their usual 7-foot monster on her own. It was an argument they had every year; she could never understand why he insisted on such a huge tree, which dwarfed the tiny living room and forced them to swerve to pass it. She had to admit though, with the main lights turned off and all the presents underneath, it did look magical.

[neonLadybird]

?Good morning, Madam, how are you today?? She was startled out of her musings by the checkout operator beaming at her as she passed her goods through the scanner. Laura gave a watery smile in response. Flustered, she pushed through to the end of the checkout where her groceries were already beginning to pile up. Of course, she had forgotten her large re-usable bags, so was forced to make do with the flimsy supermarket ones. Flinging in her shopping willy-nilly, with no regard for the safety of eggs, bread, packets of biscuits or anything remotely fragile, she was hyper-aware of the growing queue behind her. Finally, with the bags packed and stowed in the trolley, she turned to the checkout operator, who was waiting patiently for her to finish.
?That?s £65.95 please Madam. Do you have your loyalty card??
Flustered again, Laura began rooting through her bag, searching for the small wallet that carried her credit cards, loyalty cards, business cards, and a jumble of receipts, which she had never quite got round to clearing out. Uh oh. Not in the main part of the bag. Side pocket? No. Inside zip pocket? No. With a sinking heart, she remembered that it was in fact in her coat pocket. Not, of course, the coat she was wearing today. Rooting through the bag again, her face growing hotter by the second (?Sorry about this!? flung over her shoulder to the impatient hordes beyond) she located her cash purse, hoping and praying there would be enough to cover the bill. Two twenties, a ten, a five, some coins........ oh no.
?Sorry, I?ve left my card at home, and I?m a bit short of cash. I?ll have to put some of these things back.?
Her face flaming now, she reached for the trolley and began rooting through the bags, trying to decide what they could do without, when behind her she heard a deep, cultured voice.
?How much are you short??
?Sorry??
Laura looked up to find the owner of the voice, the man behind her in the queue. Tall, about fiftyish, with greying sandy hair and sky blue eyes. He looked faintly amused and concerned at the same time. Laura felt absurdly patronised.
?If it?s only a few quid, I?d be happy to cover the difference - no need to pay me back. It?s just that I?m sure all these people here want to get home.?
?No, really, I couldn?t ??
?Honestly, it?s no trouble?. He smiled then, the broad grin causing the corners of his eyes to crinkle up.
?Well... it really is very kind of you, but I must pay you back ? perhaps you could give me your address??
?Look, I tell you what. Wait outside while I finish my shopping, and I?ll give you my card.?
Mumbling her thanks once again, she handed over her notes and coins, and the stranger pulled a ten pound note out of his wallet and gave it to the checkout operator. With as much speed as she could muster, Laura pushed her trolley through the automatic doors and over to a bench, where she subsided gratefully, the cold air bringing welcome relief to her hot skin.
Christ, how humiliating. And typical. Why did these things always happen to her? She thought about the stranger who had helped her out. What a nice thing to do. She wondered if she would have done the same thing. Probably not; she was off in her own world so much, it was unlikely she?d have noticed anything like that happening.

[neonLadybird]

Here he was; pushing his trolley out of the front doors. She rose, and went to meet him.
?Thank you once again, that was so kind of you.?
?Really, it was nothing. Are you all right? You look a bit upset.?
?Oh, it?s just this kind of thing is always happening to me... I?m a bit absent minded to say the least. Disaster seems to follow me around.?
He laughed, a surprisingly hearty sound. ?I?m sure that?s not true. Anyway, glad to be of help. And I really don?t need the money back.?
?No, I must insist. You really will upset me if you don?t. Your card??
He produced his wallet from an inside pocket, extracted a card and gave it to her. ?Daniel May ? Architect? was written in a flowing script across the front, followed by what looked like a home address.
?You?re an architect? Very impressive.?
?Semi retired now, I mostly work from home. Small domestic jobs, local work, that kind of thing.?
?Well, I?ll make sure I drop the money round in the next couple of days. And thanks once again.?
?No trouble at all?.
He turned his trolley in the direction of the car park, gave her a quick wave, and was gone.

[neonLadybird]

Chapter 3: Later that afternoon
She had finished putting the shopping away (only two eggs broken), had lunch (half a packet of biscuits, also broken), washed down with a glass of red wine. Now she faced the unenviable task of getting the decorations from the loft. Deep breath, Laura. You can do this. Just try not fall through the hatch while you?re up there.
The task took some time ? there were a lot of boxes to be hauled down the narrow steps. Finally, she was done. She pushed the steps back up through the hatch and latched it, then made her way downstairs, one box at a time.
Opening the first box revealed tinsel ? yards and yards of it, silver, gold, red, green. They had never been the sort of people who decorated their tree with a ?theme?, preferring the ?throw as much bling at it as possible? approach. The second box contained a tangle of fairy lights ? that could wait. It would take hours to straighten them out. The third and fourth boxes held streamers and garlands for the walls (that many? Surely not. Where do we put them all?) and the final box, the baubles, figurines and home made decorations for the tree. These she took out one by one, examining them for breakages, or lost ribbons. At the bottom of the box, there lay a final shape wrapped carefully in tissue paper.

[neonLadybird]

Her breath caught in her throat. Shakily, she lifted the package out, and gently peeled back the thin layers of paper. Revealed was a cardboard star, embellished with glitter. Over the years the glitter had gradually drifted off, so that it was bare in patches, showing the original cardboard underneath.
Tears sprang to her eyes. She remembered that Christmas ten years ago, Ben and Jake?s bent heads over the kitchen table, their fierce concentration as they cut out the star shape, covered it with glue, sprinkled the multicoloured glitter, waited for it to dry. They had affixed a peg on the back to attach it to the topmost branch of the tree. It had come out every year since, losing a little of its lustre but none of its homemade charm. Every year Ben had said they should put more glitter on it, and every year Laura had insisted it was fine as it was.
Openly sobbing now, she laid her head down upon her arms and wept. She missed him, so so much. Would it ever stop hurting? What other memories would jump out at her unawares, waiting to knock the stuffing out of her? Thank God Jake was out, she didn?t want him to see her like this. Gradually she sniffled to a halt, blew her nose and turned her attention to the fairy lights. At least untangling these would take her mind off things.

[neonLadybird]

A frustrating half hour later, the strings were finally freed from each other. She plugged in each string in turn, the plain white ones, the multicoloured ones for the window, the flashing ones that had about six different settings, only one bearable, a gentle flicker as opposed to the seizure inducing flashing of the other five. This last she plugged in, flicked the switch, and just had time to hear an ominous ?click? before all the lights went out in the house, and she was plunged into darkness.
?Bugger, bugger, bugger?. The faulty fairy lights had managed to fuse the entire house. Now she?d have to fetch the torch, find the step ladder, reset the fuse box....and she hated the dark. Rooting through the useful drawer in the kitchen she located the torch, which by some miracle worked. Now, the stepladder.........had been lent to the neighbours in the summer when they were decorating, and she had somehow not gotten around to asking for it back. And they were out, gone to a party on the other side of town, and she didn?t know anyone else in the street well enough to just knock on their doors. She had kept herself to herself this last year.
She supposed she could stand on a chair, but quickly dismissed this as foolhardy, as knowing her she was bound to fall off and break her leg. Inspiration struck; she still had the business card from the stranger in the supermarket, and going by his address he only lived a couple of streets away ? perhaps he could lend her a ladder? She dialled the number, praying he was in. And, of course, that he wouldn?t turn out to be a knife wielding maniac.

[neonLadybird]

He picked up after two rings. ?Hello?? His cultured mellow voice was reassuring. He didn?t sound like a knife wielding maniac. Although not having encountered one, how was she to know?
?Hi, this is Laura. You, er, rescued me in the supermarket earlier?.
?Of course. Are you all right? You sound a bit flustered.?
Quickly, she explained the situation. ?So, I was wondering if you had a stepladder I could borrow? I can be round in two minutes, and I can pay you back at the same time.?
?Stay where you are, I?ll bring it to you. What?s your address? Unless you think I?m a mad axeman, of course!?
This was so close to her own thoughts she felt herself blushing. ?Well if you are, you?re a very generous and helpful mad axeman. I?ll take the chance!?
He laughed heartily. ?I?ll see you in a few minutes,? he said, and put the phone down.
The doorbell rang, and she peered through the chain into the darkness. Daniel stood on the doorstep. ?One mad axeman, bearing a stepladder.? She laughed and loosened the chain to let him in. In a matter of minutes, the fuses were reset, the lights back on. She gave a sigh of relief.

[neonLadybird]

?Thank you so much. That?s the second time you?ve rescued me today.? She hesitated. She should really just give him the tenner she owed him, but it seemed rude somehow. Taking a deep breath, ?Would you like a glass of wine? It?s the least I can do. Unless you?ve got to dash off??
He seemed pleased at the thought. ?I?d be delighted. I?ve no plans, other than a date with Saturday night TV.?
Laura walked through to the kitchen, uncorking a bottle of red. ?Your wife?s not expecting you back for dinner??
?No wife. I live alone. I?m divorced.? He took his glass and sat down at the table.
?I?m very sorry to hear that. Any children??
?A daughter. She?s twenty one, at Oxford, doing fantastically well.?
?Have you been on your own long??
?About two years, ever since the wife ran off with her personal trainer.?
Laura suppressed a giggle with difficulty. ?I know,? said Daniel with a wry grin. ?It?s such a cliché, isn?t it? Quite embarrassing really. Although not all that surprising. We had been drifting along for a few years, just going through the motions for Amy?s sake. I suppose once Amy had gone there wasn?t really anything to stay for.?
They chatted on, companionably, discussing their plans for Christmas. Daniel was driving to Oxford tomorrow to have lunch with his daughter, then taking her down to Gloucester to spend Christmas with her mother. He himself was spending Christmas and Boxing Day with friends in a cottage in the Cotswolds. It all sounded very cosy, log fires, cold winter walks, games and chat.

[neonLadybird]

?And you? How are you spending Christmas??
Laura looked down at the table, suddenly feeling awkward. ?Just me and Jake this year, a nice quiet time.?
His eyes flicked almost involuntarily to the photographs on the kitchen dresser, all happy family shots of the three of them. She met his eye, answered the question in it. ?My husband.... was killed in a road accident, about a year ago. It?s the first anniversary tomorrow, in fact.?
Instantly, shock and sympathy were written over his stricken face. ?Christ! How absolutely dreadful for you. This must be a very difficult time.? He didn?t seem awkward, or embarrassed. Just concerned. Which made a nice change from people tiptoeing round the subject, or not referring to it at all.
?Yes, yes it is. I?m just trying to keep things as normal as possible for Jake. You know, follow the same rituals we used to, decorating the tree, that sort of thing. I don?t want every Christmas ruined for him because of what happened. It should always be a special time.?
?Well, I think you?re incredibly brave, and strong. In your position I?d be tempted to run away to the wilds of Scotland, or somewhere, and hide until the whole thing was over.?
?Running away won?t bring Ben back though, will it? And I figure that if I can get through this first anniversary, this first real Christmas without him, then the next one won?t be so hard.?
?There?s logic in that, I suppose,? said Daniel, his eyes full of sympathy.

[neonLadybird]

The slam of the front door broke the sombre mood. ?Mum, I?m home!? called Jake, somewhat unnecessarily. He burst into the kitchen in his usual whirlwind fashion, stopping short at the sight of the stranger at the table. Laura hastily introduced Daniel, recounting the supermarket fiasco and the business with the fuse. Hearing this, Jake rolled his eyes knowingly at Daniel. ?That is so typical of Mum. She?s a walking disaster area.?
?Well, I should be off,? announced Daniel, standing and stretching. ?I?ll pop back for the ladder when I get back from the wilds, if that?s OK? You may as well keep it in case of emergencies!?
?Thanks,? said Laura, then hesitantly, ?Do you have to rush off? I was just about to make some supper, you?re welcome to stay if you like. Nothing spectacular, just pasta and salad.?
?Well...? Daniel cast a wary glance at Jake. He really didn?t want to intrude.
?Don?t look so worried,? said Jake. ?She may be a disaster, but she?s an OK cook.?
Daniel visibly brightened. ?In that case, I would love to stay for supper. Thank you.?

[neonLadybird]

After the meal had been eaten and the plates cleared (Jake had managed a plate of pasta, despite having eaten already at Henry?s) they moved to the living room. At Jake?s suggestion, they got out all their old board games. Daniel, surprisingly, was terrible at Pictionary ? it seemed he wanted to put too much detail into his drawing and ran out of time before producing anything recognisable. He trounced them both at Trivial Pursuit, but found himself outclassed by Jake at Risk. (Laura sat that one out ? she had never been able to master that game, and declared she was too old to start now).
The clock struck eleven. ?Good god, is that the time? I really should be going. Long drive tomorrow.? Daniel unfolded himself from the living room floor. ?Nice meeting you, Jake.? Holding out his hand, he was slightly put out when Jake held up his palm for a high five. ?See you later,? said Jake, casually.
Laura walked him to the front door. I haven?t enjoyed myself like that in months, she thought, and suddenly felt guilty, stopping the thought in its tracks. Daniel retrieved his coat from the hook on the wall. ?Thanks for a lovely evening. I?ve really enjoyed myself.?
?You?re welcome,? said Laura, suddenly feeling awkward again. ?Oh, before I forget ?? she was rummaging through her bag, looking for her purse, when his hand on her arm stopped her. ?There?s really no need,? he said, and his eyes were kind. ?You?ve fed me and entertained me, what more could I ask??
?Well ? if you?re sure,? said Laura, giving in. She opened the front door onto the now deserted street. ?Take care going home. And enjoy your Christmas.?
?You too.? His eyes lingered for a fraction longer than necessary on her face. ?Goodbye,? and he was off, striding down the path.

[neonLadybird]

Laura closed the front door, put on the chain, and leant against it with a heavy sigh. What a day. She was exhausted. And there was still tomorrow to be got through, the anniversary, the Christmas rituals without Ben. She hoped it wouldn?t be too much for her. Jake needed normality, routine.
He was yawning on the sofa when she returned to the living room. ?C?mon, time for bed?, she said, pulling him up by the arm.
?He was a nice bloke,? Jake remarked conversationally. He hadn?t seemed in the least put out by the presence of another man in the house. On the contrary, he had seemed to come alive, laughing and joking with Daniel, taking the mickey out of Laura. ?Are you going to invite him round again?? Laura looked at him sharply, but his expression was guileless. ?Well, he?s got to come and collect his ladder, so we?ll see.? Laura was non-committal. ?Now, time for bed.?
?OK,? Jake said, swallowing a yawn. ?Night Mum.?
?Night love.? She gave him a quick hug, and off he went. She surveyed the living room, which was strewn with paper, small plastic games pieces, empty cups. Tidy up time, and then bed for me too, she thought. I?ll deal with tomorrow when it happens.

[thatsnotmymonster]

I'm enjoying it so far!

[neonLadybird]

Chapter 4 ? Sunday 23rd December
Laura had had a bad night. Too wound up to sleep properly, she had dozed fitfully, plagued by nightmares that she woke from, sweating and shaking, only to be plunged back into them the minute she dozed off again.
Finally, at 7am, she gave in, put on her cosy dressing gown, and made her way downstairs for a cup of tea. Yawning, she plugged in the kettle, found teabags, milk, a mug. The tea made, she sat at the kitchen table, looking out of the unshaded window at the garden beyond, the outline of shrubs and bare trees just beginning to emerge in the dawning light.
The day she had been dreading had arrived. She would keep busy, put up the decorations, maybe make mince pies. She would not allow herself a minute?s rest until Jake was in bed. Then, she could break down, then she could weep for all they had lost. And the day would be over, and it would be Christmas Eve, and that had to be better than today, surely?

[neonLadybird]

Thank you thatsnotmymonster!

[neonLadybird]

True to her word, once she had showered, dressed and had breakfast, she made a start. Daniel?s stepladder came in handy for hanging the paper chains and garlands (Jake held the bottom, not trusting her not to fly off), and soon the ceiling and walls were festooned with all the glittery colours of the rainbow. They lunched on frozen pizza, and in the afternoon started on the tree (minus the defective fairy lights, of course). Baubles, gold and silver; wooden carved toys; candy canes, tinsel, crackers tucked between the boughs, and tree chocolates (most of them made it onto the tree once she had wrestled the bag from Jake).
Finally, the star. Once again, Laura gingerly peeled back the yellowed paper. Looking up, her eyes met Jake?s. She knew they were brimming with tears, as were his, and there wasn?t a single thing she could do about it.
She sniffed, gulped, took control again. ?Maybe you should put the star on top?, she said. It had always been Ben?s job.
?Well, at least I can reach the top of the tree this year,? joked Jake shakily, and they both laughed a little too hard. Ben took the star carefully, closed the peg around the top branch of the tree, and stood back to admire their handiwork.
?It looks fantastic, Mum.? He put his arm around her waist and drew her close. ?Dad would have loved it.?
?He would have hated the tree,? wobbled Laura, and they both giggled again, and gave each other a tearful hug.

[neonLadybird]

That afternoon, they made mince pies together, listening to the carols on the radio. It was very cosy and peaceful in their warm kitchen, Jake keeping up a constant flow of chatter, mostly speculating on what presents would be under the tree tomorrow, and trying to goad Laura into giving him clues. ?How am I supposed to know what you?re getting? Father Christmas brings the presents, you know that!? ?Very funny, Mum?, deadpanned Jake, flicking her with a tea towel.
Later, they ate supper (M&S fish pie, frozen peas) on their laps in front of the television, watching all the Christmas programmes. Laura grew increasingly tense as the clock ticked the time away to 10:03pm ? the time Ben had been pronounced dead by the paramedics at the side of the road, just yards from his front door and an oblivious Laura. She chivvied Jake into his pyjamas, promising he could stay up until midnight the following day, gave him a swift goodnight, and took herself downstairs. Pouring herself a glass of wine, she turned off the television, and began her lonely vigil.
The house was silent, the only sounds the ticking of the clock on the mantelpiece and the occasional whisper of falling pine leaves. Eventually, the clock struck ten, and she could contain herself no longer. The dam burst, and she wept freely, letting all the grief and pain of the last year out, berating her dead husband for leaving her and Jake behind, wishing he could come back, just once, and hold her, take the pain away.

[neonLadybird]

She didn?t hear the living room door opening silently behind her, didn?t know Jake was in the room, until he was on the sofa next to her, arms around her heaving shoulders. ?Mum??
?I?m sorry Jake, I?m so sorry. I didn?t want you to see me like this, I wanted to try and keep everything normal, like it was before...? she choked.
?Mum, it?s OK to cry. I miss dad too, I think about him every day. You don?t have to be strong all the time, I?m not.?
?But you?re only twelve.?
?What difference does that make?? She couldn?t argue with that. ?And as for trying to keep everything the same... well, it?s not the same, is it? It?s never going to be the same. Dad?s gone, and we can?t change that, what?s the point pretending otherwise? Things might be different, but that doesn?t mean they can?t be good.?
She sniffed, raised her head, and looked at her son. ?Since when did you get so wise?? She gave a half hearted smile.
?Well, I had a couple of good teachers.? Jake gave her a wobbly smile, and they embraced, hugging fiercely, holding on for dear life.
They talked for hours that night, remembering, occasionally crying, but mostly laughing. Happy memories, silly memories, bringing Ben alive again. Eventually, after Laura had made them both a hot chocolate, she fetched a blanket, and they snuggled up at either end of the sofa.

[neonLadybird]

She slept; and she dreamed again, but this time the dreams were different. Ben was there, and he was laughing, playing with Jake, teasing her, loving her. Alive. Living. What he had always done best of all. Simply living.
Waking in the morning, she became aware of a dim glow. The streetlamps? No, the curtains were closed, and it was coming from the wrong direction. Pushing herself up, she looked at the tree. At the very top, the star was glowing gently, as if lit from within. Crystals of light glittered from all four walls in ever colour of the rainbow. Spellbound, she pushed back the blanket and walked to the tree. Stopping, she examined the star. Yesterday it had been threadbare, the cardboard showing through. Now it was covered in a thick layer of fresh glitter, pink, gold, green, silver, blue. Rubbing her eyes, she drew back the curtains, but the star still shone in the daylight. In her mind, she could swear she heard Ben?s throaty chuckle.
?Mum?? Jake was by her side, questions all over his face, his gaze darting from the star to his mother.
?You were right when you said last night things would never be the same. But they could still be good.? Laura paused, looked at the star again. ?I think your dad would have agreed with you.?

[neonLadybird]

I meant every colour of the rainbow sorry!

[neonLadybird]

Later that day, once the turkey had been stuffed and was sitting on a shelf in the fridge, Laura thought about Ben. For the first time, the memories had lost their sharp edge. She still missed him; she would always miss him. But the memories were precious, and they would stay with her forever. She felt a kind of peace steal over her, and was thankful.
Pulling Daniel?s business card from her wallet, she thought for a moment. Looked at Jake, head bent over his games console, old beyond his years, yet still her little boy. Looked at herself in the hall mirror, a widow to be sure, but a survivor. She dialled the mobile number on the card, before she could lose her nerve.
He picked up the phone. ?Hello?? His warm voice echoed down the line.
?Hi, it?s Laura. Remember me??
?How could I forget?? He sounded amused. ?How are you? No more disasters, I hope ? I?m a bit far away to be a knight in shining armour.?
?Not this time, no.? She couldn?t help smiling. He was such a nice man. ?I was calling to wish you a happy Christmas actually.?
?How thoughtful of you. I hope you?re having a happy time so far?? He sounded slightly wary.
?Yes, surprisingly, we are.?
?I am glad.? He hesitated, as if about to say something else.
?I was wondering.....
?Do you think...
They both dissolved into laughter. ?You first,? said Laura. ?No, you, I insist?, replied Daniel.
?OK.? Laura drew a deep breath. ?I was wondering whether you had any plans for New Years Eve??
THE END

[Purplebuns]

Ooh very good, well done