This is just me spouting my thoughts about weight loss. I read a lot about how most women are hyper-conscious of their weight and that all overweight people know full well that they are fat so it is hateful to say anything about it.
My experience is different. I genuinely seemed to have a blind spot when it came to weight. I am 5’6’’ and although it sounds a cop-out, I am quite big-boned. I have a large frame and that probably helps me carry weight quite well. I knew I had gained some weight but kidded myself that it was only a couple of pounds. I was wearing size 12 (albeit elasticated) jeans and dresses. I thought I looked pretty normal. I was horrified when I finally weighed myself and I was 14 st 7 lbs. Looking back, I was pretty bloody fat and looked it but I swear to god that when I looked in the mirror I thought I looked normal. No bulging flab, a relatively flat stomach etc.
I started taking my health seriously the weekend lockdown started, ie about 7 weeks ago. Since then, I have lost 15 pounds (7.3% of body weight). This is about a third of what I want to lose, so I have about 30 pounds left. I am nearly out of the obese range (never have I wished I was ‘overweight’ more). My BMI has gone from 32.7 to 30.3. I can see and feel changes. Running feels much easier than before. My stomach feels smaller. My waist size is no longer ‘a medical concern’, meaning I have lost some of the more dangerous fat.
I have also gone 53 days without bingeing which I have never done before in my whole life.
At the same time, I feel really despondent that I let myself get so big and embarrassed that I was so deluded and thought I looked fine when I was in fact obese. Has anyone else had this where they thought they looked fine but in hindsight really didn’t? I keep imagining that people were laughing at me behind my back and describing me as fat when they discussed me. Probably just me being paranoid but still.
Sorry for the rant and thanks for listening.
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Weight loss and delusion about looking okay
30 replies
Shedtheload · 20/05/2020 12:05
OP posts:
Chericey ·
22/05/2020 13:40
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