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can I ask for some moral support and advice? I need to do something.

(58 Posts)
echelon Tue 03-May-16 11:14:31

I'm 33 and ever since my early teens I've been overweight, it's gone up and down a lot over the years but I've always been at least 4 st overweight.

I did SlimFast shakes a couple of years ago and lost a couple of stone.
Then put it back on again (we moved house and I was homesick, so comfort ate a lot and we ordered takeaways etc a lot).

I have an unhealthy relationship with sugar. I will CRAVE it and CRAVE it almost every day, mostly in the evenings. I can quite happily eat entire packs of biscuits, entire tubs of Ben & Jerry icecream, entire 200g bars of Cadburys chocolate.
When I'm feeling low I comfort eat. I don't feel happy if i don't have something sugary in the house, eg a packet of biscuits.
I think I'm heavily addicted to sugar.
After a sugar binge I feel disgusted at myself and sick.

Lost the plot lately.. been having sensible(ish) breakfasts, not so sensible lunches, and not so sensible dinners such as creamy pasta dishes with cheese, pizzas etc. Friends came round Sunday and Monday, ended up getting takeaway on Sunday and barbecue yesterday.
Plus sweet crap as usual.

I weighed myself this morning. 18 stone 6 pounds.

How did this happen to me and how did I let it happen? sad

I'm scared of heart disease, stroke. Diabetes. Sleep apnea. Arthritis.

For full disclosure I suffer with polycystic ovarian syndrome. Doctor told me once it's "linked" to obesity but I'm not sure how.

Today I'm going to start over. I've thrown out a cherry pie that was in the fridge and a half eaten packet of custard creams smile
I really really REALLY need some help and support though.
I have a sit down desk job which doesn't help.
DH is skinny and has a physical job which keeps him fit, but it also means he's always too tired to swim/gym/go for walks with me.

What kind of diet should I be following? How can I kick my sweet tooth addiction?
This is going to be so hard.
I need to do something though don't I.

OP’s posts: |
FluffyPersian Tue 03-May-16 14:30:46


I started my GI Healthy eating today and you can have both moral support and advice! smile.

I'm very similar to you - I'm 34 and am probably 18 or so, stone - I've not weighed myself as I've got my long term goal of fitting into my size 14 trousers. I bought some trousers recently on eBay..... Size 20 sad

I've been a Yo-Yo dieter all my life... Lost over 4 stone on Slim fast when at Uni.... then lost over 6 stone on the GI diet.... lost over 3 stone just calorie counting...

The problem is, I'm an emotional eater and when I'm feeling happy - I'm 100% motivated, however when something gets in the way mentally, I reach for the chocolate, feel 'I've failed' and then binge eat, feel disgusted with myself and think 'What's the point, I may as well just continue eating crap'.

I was doing pretty well last year, however life threw a massive curve ball, I had a (planned) pregnancy which I thought I'd be really happy about, however sadly I got horrendous antenatal depression, I became suicidal and terminated at 12 weeks as I just couldn't cope. The guilt I felt / feel is just massive but with counselling and a very supportive fiance, I'm hopefully coming out the other side.

The reasons I want to lose weight are:

1. I want to look beautiful in my wedding dress (July 2018, will go shopping for it next year and DON'T want to wear a size 20!!!!)

2. I want to feel mentally happier - I also feel disgusting and I don't feel sexy / attractive - I just feel like a failure as so many other people in the world seem to be able to stop eating chocolate... why not me?

3. I want to be physically healthier - If we do try again for children, I want my body to be healthy and I'm hoping that could potentially mean less depression / hormone issues. Even if the same thing happens again, carrying less weight can only be a positive thing for my body.

4. To help my back pain - I've had a bad back for 16 years and the extra weight does not help at ALL.

I'd recommend the GI Diet - I love it. There's a single book I used last time and it was 'Easy GI Diet' by Helen Foster. I liked it because it was simple, it didn't have 'points' or 'syns' and I enjoyed cooking 'normal' meals. The best thing was however, I didn't feel hungry - When I feel hungry, I not only 'panic', but I am more likely to cave and eat rubbish... I genuinely don't feel hungry on this diet and it was the one the GP recommended to me about 6 years ago.

This morning I had porridge with blueberries and for lunch I had one slice of granary bread and a scrambled egg with a banana. I'm going to have a lunchbox sized malt loaf bar later and 'Thai style steamed fish' for dinner with pak choi and some mashed sweet potato. I guess it sounds a bit odd, however I REFUSE to eat things I don't like... and I just substituted the rice for sweet potato as I currently don't have any brown rice and white rice is quite high in the GI index.

Whatever choices you make in regards to healthy eating, I'm happy to be your weight loss chum if you'll have me? smile

echelon Tue 03-May-16 15:55:27

Hey Fluffy
Thanks for your message!

You said:
"The problem is, I'm an emotional eater and when I'm feeling happy - I'm 100% motivated, however when something gets in the way mentally, I reach for the chocolate, feel 'I've failed' and then binge eat, feel disgusted with myself and think 'What's the point, I may as well just continue eating "

This is SO SO ME!! It's a dreadful cycle that I've been trapped in for about 20 years sad

Today something changed, I saw how much I weighed, I realised that I'm straining to fit in my size 22 work trousers, and I just thought, I cannot carry on like this.

The GI diet sounds interesting, I've never heard of it before! goes off to google it

Well today it's so far so good. 2 egg omelette with mushrooms for breakfast. Apple mid morning. Herbal tea.
Tinned mackerel salad for lunch, boiled egg, cherry tomatoes. Packet of Snack a Jacks.
Another herbal tea just now smile

All good yes?!

I think dinner tonight will be honey mustard chicken and parsnips. Will be going easy on the honey grin

What a great incentive to keep the weight off! I bet you're going to look fab in your wedding dress!
Also thanks for sharing about such a personal subject. I've suffered a miscarriage in the past (I know its not the same thing but I'm pretty sure a lot of the same emotions are involved) and like you I'm very much an emotional eater.
When I'm happy, I eat junk. When I'm low, I eat junk. When I'm alone I eat junk. When I've got company, I eat junk.

OP’s posts: |
FluffyPersian Tue 03-May-16 16:14:50

Sounds like you're off to a great start - I'm also drinking herbal teas as well. I don't drink coffee, so that's something, but I am a bit of a tea monster so am trying to cut down and drink jasmine tea (I find pure green tea tastes of dishwater!).

It sounds like you've made a lot of good choices today - I always think the first few weeks (especially the first week) are the hardest as you don't have any progress to show and are feeling quite 'urgh', however after the first 2-3 weeks when you can SEE or FEEL progress, I find that motivates me to continue.

So long as nothing 'bad' happens in my life, I can keep going for months - then it all goes pear shaped and I reach for the cake!

One thing about me is that I'm very black / white on life - I personally believe I've got quite a lot of autistic traits (Work in I.T / Have to have control at all costs / Love process, hate change!) so as soon as I eat something I deem 'bad', I feel I've 'failed' and that mindset is so hard to change! 'Normal' people would say 'I've had a chocolate bar, but it's not the end of the world' or.... 'Just because I had pudding today, doesn't mean I've failed' .. I just can't get my head around this concept, however it's something I'm working on with my counselor - so silly really!

It also didn't help that when I was growing up, my Father would call me fat - especially when I was going through puberty. Looking back at photos, I wasn't fat at all, I just developed VERY well (36GG!) and by the time I was 11, I had a bigger chest than my Mum! So since I was young, I've also struggled with my weight.... I think there was about 2 years in my early 20's when I was exercising constantly and watching what I ate and was a size 12, that I was actually happy with myself - sadly it didn't last.

My 'snap' moment came last week when I was on holiday with my fiance and I was getting into the shower and I saw myself in the mirror of the Travel Lodge bathroom - I honestly feel like a fat, disgusting, lump - Just so horrible. You know when you're stood up and even when you're sucking your stomach in, there's just no hope as you can just see FAT everywhere? sad.

However, both of us have made the decision to change that and that's better than accepting things as they are, even if it is a harder road to go down!

Tomorrow we'll both be healthier than we are today, and by the weekend, our bodies will no doubt be feeling less tired and more happy with the food choices we make smile

MrAliBongo Tue 03-May-16 21:01:37

I totally identify with you both. I'm 5'4'', and this time last year weighed nearly 17stone. Now, I'm 10 stone on the nose, and so much fitter and stronger. I've counted calories, but with an eye to low GI principles, as I get migraines if my blood sugar goes even slightly squiffy. OP, I'd totally recommend you try it to help you get those sugar cravings under control. Even watch out for the snack-a-jacks... They may be low calorie, but they're very refined carbohydrate. I do eat that kind of stuff, but only in combination with some kind of fibre and protein, just to slow it down a bit.

The thing is, the diet itself is really only the last piece of the jigsaw. It only works for good once you've got your head sorted. If your only solution to uncomfortable emotions is to eat, then sooner or later your good intentions will fall by the wayside. The first challenge is to find better strategies to deal with your emotions (not hard at all, right? hmm ), and then to break the association with comfort eating. It takes a shit load of practice, and constant vigilance, but it does start to stick.

atuttAteam Wed 04-May-16 17:41:25

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echelon Wed 04-May-16 19:16:59

Thanks guys!

I totally understand all that. My dad also used to make comments about my weight such as "don't you wish you were slim like your sister" or "can you kick your foot up to your head? No you're too overweight..." Stuff like that.
Parents eh? I love them dearly but growing up their comments did get to me. I'm sure it was concern for my health, just worded badly.

So today it's been good, Readybrek for breakfast with a drizzle of honey. Green tea.
Quorn lamb grills with 3 small boiled baby potatoes for lunch.
More green tea!!
Veggie curry with a small portion of rice for dinner. Chopped kiwi fruit with natural yoghurt.

I'm sitting here craving chocolate now though. I mean REALLY bad cravings sad

OP’s posts: |
echelon Wed 04-May-16 19:23:08


It's so hard sometimes to NOT comfort eat, and to instead deal with the negative emotions /depression that we try to suppress with junk food.

I honestly don't know what to do at times when I'm feeling very depressed (I have cyclothymic disorder so I have extreme highs and lows) and I feel like the only thing that will make me feel better is an evening in front of the TV, a large pizza, cheesecake, chocolate, wine and biscuits hmm

OP’s posts: |
FluffyPersian Thu 05-May-16 12:49:07

echelon Yeah.. I got compared to my 3 sisters as well - I got 'You may not be pretty like your sisters, but at least you're brainy' ... and THEY got 'You may not be clever like your sister, but at least you're pretty'. The 'amusing' thing is, they are all really clever, but I sadly believe that I'm so ugly compared to them - and most of that (not all!) is weight related as they're all slim and look gorgeous.

I'm really glad you're doing well - I'm also doing well and now onto day 3! Yesterday I had porridge for breakfast and a salad for lunch. I was working in the office yesterday but thankfully they have a pretty good salad bar, so I stuck with a lot of pulses (chickpeas, beans, butterbeans) , one boiled egg and and chicken. I had one spoonful of coleslaw which helped make it more 'tasty', but didn't go crazy - I also watched my portion size.

Unfortunately my back pain is really bad at the moment which is very frustrating - I've admitted defeat and actually have a Drs appointment next Thursday and went to the Chiropractor this morning sad. Usually when I'm in pain or frustrated, I'll reach for the chocolate, but so far, I'm trying to separate the two and it's working so far smile.

What kind of rice do you have? I'd recommend Basmati / brown rice or any rice that takes over 12 minutes to cook as it takes longer for your body to digest it and you stay fuller for longer.

I've just had a slice of granary bread, one scrambled egg and will just eat a banana.... In a couple of hours I'm going to have one pack of Belvita oaty biscuits for my mid afternoon snack. It might not be as healthy as an apple, but as I said before, I'm eating things I like and they'll easily fill me up until 8pm (Can't eat earlier tonight, sadly!).

I hope your day is going well!

echelon Thu 05-May-16 21:54:57

Glad you're doing ok!
Yeah brown rice we eat a lot. I prefer white rice but obviously it's not good for you at all, and we kind of taught ourselves to eat brown wholemeal rice/bread/pasta , so at least it's a bit better for you!

I had PIZZA tonight! sadsad
Only 3 slices. Nothing else for dinner. It was a Sainsburys freshly made pizza that DH bought home.
Yummy. But I didn't eat the (stuffed) crusts, so couldn't have been that bad?
Also had a very healthy and low calorie lunch. Celery sticks, carrot sticks, crispbread and a spoonful of low fat hummous.

Anyway not going to beat myself up about it. Got a very healthy weekend planned so bring it on!

Are you in the UK Fluffy ?

OP’s posts: |
ppeatfruit Fri 06-May-16 08:28:43

Have you heard of Paul Mackenna? Because although not a VERY emotional eater and always a very healthy eater I put on 3 stone which I got rid of with His I Can Make You Thin book ,CDs DVD etc.

It is amazing because it focuses on the emotional side and helps you get to know your body so you DO eat when you're hungry BUT you eat, and chew slowly and enjoy the food. Not in front of a screen etc. Then you learn to STOP when you're full , To leave some food on your plate etc.

IT WORKS REALLY WORKS I'll be on it for life grin grin btw I don't want to thin just slim !!!

FluffyPersian Fri 06-May-16 09:03:20

ppearfruit I have heard of Paul and I did try him - I'm afraid I couldn't deal with listening to his CD as his voice made him sound like a pervert and I just kept laughing grin. I've heard other people say it works for them and I wish it did, me... However for me, I couldn't relax, nor listen to it properly without sniggering!

echleon I am indeed in the UK! Born in Wiltshire and currently in the South East. I actually think having only 3 slices of Pizza is pretty good going, especially if you're still motivated to eat healthily at the weekend - I swear that's a massive head fuck for me, I can't eat 'bad' things in moderation and once I have, I find it almost impossible to go back to eating healthy again sad.

I like carrots, but only when cooked and I HATE celery with a passion (number 3 on my all time hated food list! grin) I do like hummous though, so tend to eat that with tomatoes, raw peppers and a wholemeal pitta bread.

So far, so good with the GI eating and tonights main dish will be 'Italian Style beef stew' , courtesy of the BBC Good Food site. As per usual, there's one ingredient I hate (olives!) so will be substituting them out for more peppers and will stick it on to slow cook for a couple of hours so it's nice and tasty!

I think my weekend will be healthy as well - I think I'm seeing a friend on Sunday and can't remember if she wants to go for lunch / dinner as well. I always panic when I eat out if I can't see the menu first and am trying to healthy eat, so hopefully she just wants to see me for a few hours, or we can go somewhere I know does healthy stuff.

Hope you have another positive healthy day grin

ppeatfruit Fri 06-May-16 09:19:12

You don't need to listen to the CDs,just get his book and or look at the DVDs. The common sense about eating is what works because there's no going off and on diets you can eat what you like !

If you go off it for a bit you can just start the "eat when you're hungry stop when you're full" at the next meal.

Also the tapping (dealing with cravings) works too. Have another go!!

ppeatfruit Fri 06-May-16 09:20:15

Sorry for going on it just makes soo much sense to me grin

FluffyPersian Fri 06-May-16 09:34:53

I think it's great it makes sense to you and if it works, then I'd deffo stick with it. I think my mind is a bit different to 'normal' people - therefore I tend to deal with 'extremes'. The idea of eating chocolate cake and still feeling healthy just doesn't compute with me sad. I don't tend to have cravings to be honest - It's more of an emotional trigger, so even if I was really full of healthy stuff and not hungry at all, I'd still eat chocolate if I was upset.

I think the GI has the same principal in the sense that you only eat when you're hungry - As it fills you up, you're literally just hungry for your next meal, but you're not starving.... that's why I think it worked for me, I 'coped' with slim fast for 4-5 months, but it was really hard as I was constantly hungry and also quite moody. So far, my mood is pretty stable and I've started sleeping better at night as well.

I think Mr McKenna and I will have to remain strangers for a little bit longer, but I hope he keeps helping you wink And well done on your weight loss, that is seriously awesome smile

ppeatfruit Fri 06-May-16 10:46:39

I get it we're all different grin

Talking about chocolate cake I will say that I make an amazing 'healthy' chocolate brownie\cake. You wouldn't know you weren't eating 'normal' cake grin I eat healthily but I don't suffer grin !!

ppeatfruit Fri 06-May-16 12:53:39

Have you thought of vgb hypnotherapy. There's a thread on here about it, no P.M. !!grin

sunflowersinthesun Fri 06-May-16 22:46:34

ppeatfruit Recipe please? grin
Just thought I'd be cheeky and ask, if you don't ask you don't get right?

sunflowersinthesun Fri 06-May-16 22:50:48

Am in UK too, originally from South East smile

Had Angel Delight tonight. Apparently its very low in sugar and I made it with skimmed milk, so hopefully kept the calories down.

Does anyone else like Angel Delight?
What are our favourite "diet" products?

Fluffy the beef stew sounds lovely. I'm making Szechuan beef stew this weekend, it's made with grated pears,loads of chopped onions, peppers, toasted sesame seeds etc. Delish!

ppeatfruit Sat 07-May-16 06:17:38

Sorry angel delight is not food (I'm a 'read the ingredients' freak, it annoys dh, but hey I'm the slim one!)

Ok recipe here grin Use one large heavy saucepan and then you don't need to use any other bowls etc.!

Ingredients; (this is a flexible list, use the spices, nuts etc. you like

One cup wheat free or gluten free flour ( I use Kamut or sometimes known as Khorasan flour) it's just an ancient wheat that's much easier to digest than normal flour)

3\4 cup of almond butter

1\2 cup maple syrup or honey

1\2 cup molasses or black treacle

1\2 cup ground almonds

some broken up walnuts or almonds (whatever you like)

I00gr. bar of the best dark chocolate

I cup light oil ( I use almond oil)

grated nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger (I use quite a lot!)

2 tsp. baking powder and 2 tsp. bicarb.

Ok , method; put saucepan on very lowest flame, dry fry the spices and nuts for a shortish time (don't leave them they burn easily!).
Then add and melt the almond butter, syrups and molasses gently, add broken up chocolate and the oil. Allow it to melt gently stir occasionally with a metal spoon.
Take off the heat and allow to cool a little then sift in the flour and baking powders. If it's too stiff add a little milk ( I use soya or almond or oat milk). When it can be stirred but isn't runny. put in an oiled tart pan. In the oven (not fan oven) middle shelf at 180. for approx. 20 25 minutes or more , keep an eye on it , if you like squidgy take it out when just coming away from the edges. Leave to cool in the pan then cut it . Oh you can put some ginger pieces or nuts on the top when it's still hot. !! Enjoy grin it gets even better after a day or so!

CambridgeNW10 Sat 07-May-16 07:09:38

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thenewaveragebear1983 Sat 07-May-16 07:22:36

Don't do ^^cambridge and they really shouldn't be advertising their wares to vulnerable people who ask for help on a forum. Shame on you.
The best way to stop sugar cravings is to cut all sugar from your diet. Its two or three days of hard work, but honestly, the cravings go. Have you read or heard not Michael Mosley? The blood sugar diet focuses around the concept of a higher fat, higher protein, low carb and zero sugar diet plan. There are 3 options, such as a low calorie plan, a 5:2 plan or an unlimited, but sugar free plan. Most people on it mix it up and do some days of each, such as today I'm going out for a meal so I won't count calories, other days I'll be strict. I was like you, addicted to sugar, the last time I ate any chocolate or sugar was the day after easter when I ate 6 creme eggs in one sitting. It made me so sad. In 5 weeks I've lost over a stone, I honestly would recommend trying it, rather than having a smaller amount. Come and join us on the blood sugar diet thread part 3!
Pcos causes weight gain because if you don't manage your insulin you become insulin resistant, and if there is insulin in your blood stream you are storing fat not burning fat. Simple as that. Because of your hormone imbalance, even a tiny amount of sweet food is going to cause a surge in insulin, so you experience the constant hunger associated with insulin, plus the fat storage which means every calorie counts. I have pcos and after 5 weeks sugar free I have had my first normal period in years. The BSD is designed to control your insulin and prevent T2 diabetes from developing or getting worse, but will help with conditions that are insulin related such as pcos.

MrsEvadneCake Sat 07-May-16 07:30:03

I did weigh similar and I'm now doing slimming world. It's really helped with my sugar cravings. I've lost nearly two stone in ten weeks and I feel so much better. I'm eating sensible meals and have more energy.

CambridgeNW10 Sat 07-May-16 07:47:42

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thenewaveragebear1983 Sat 07-May-16 08:01:55

Yes and you'd make no money at all would you, doing it out of the good of your heart aren't you, one sister to another hmm if people reading this thread respoded to your post by signing up to your you're advertising a service that you sell and making money from it, which I'm pretty certain is not the point of these forums. So why not ask MNHQ if they approve of your selling productsand services on the forum?
Sorry op to derail your thread slightly, but if you need support you should be allowed to ask for it without being hounded by sales rep flogging overpriced milkshakes.

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