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NOW or NEVER, NO EXCUSES thread Part 3

(1000 Posts)
CheckpointCharlie Fri 07-Dec-12 19:29:52

Ooooooohhhh, that's exciting, and a bit of an honour, I feel like the Leader!

TallyGrenshall Wed 23-Jan-13 09:32:33

Loving the idea of a skinny holiday as well smile

Charlie I have no idea what I've done. It went into a spasm on boxing day, was getting better but it went again the end of last week. I am S shaped right now confused

Youcanringmybell Wed 23-Jan-13 12:30:21

Hello all...hows things today?

I am in quite a good mood. Last night I had friends round for curry and pudding so I am being extra careful now. I had Alpen light bar for breakfast and just had a turkey salad for lunch and have a jacket potato and salad for dinner followed by a muller light <shineshalo>

So I hope everyone is ok??

I went into school this morning as a helper and it was genuinely lovely. I helped the children in reception to paint some stories characters smile

Tortoise Wed 23-Jan-13 12:48:35

I feel like I'm under a big black cloud and have been all week. I feel so bloody low. I don't even really know why. Although, I am finding things hard going with my boyfriend at the moment. I want to sit and cry but I can't even manage that sad .

Youcanringmybell Wed 23-Jan-13 13:56:43

We all have days like that Tortoise - you are not alone.

Anything anyone can help with? thanks

Schooldidi Wed 23-Jan-13 14:59:35

Tortoise is there anything we can do to help? I'd come and help clear/tidy your garden if we're anywhere close. Is there anything specific that would help improve you life/mood? I've been feeling like that all week too, but at least I know why, and one of the causes is gone now as I've been observed by the deputy head today which was fine even though I was stressed out by it beforehand.

My diet has gone well today because I was so stressed out by this observation I didn't have breakfast and then I forgot to take my lunch to work with me and I didn't have any money with me to get a school dinner. So I haven't eaten anything yet today. I just hope I can manage to make reasonable choices when I get home and get something. I really want chocolate but luckily I haven't got any in the house and I haven't got any money to buy some on the way home.

TallyGrenshall Wed 23-Jan-13 15:32:10

Tortoise Do you think it's something specific or just everything all at once getting you down? Is there anything we can do to cheer you up? I have some birthday carrot cake if you want some...

Tortoise Wed 23-Jan-13 16:21:53

I dont know. Just everything getting to me.
A lot of it is my boyfriend getting to me. He just doesn't seem interested in me. It's starting to feel like just friends with a bit of sex thrown in. He doesn't really show any affection. Never says anything nice about me. Doesn't really listen to my point of view, e.g. today at school pick up (his ds is at same school as my dds), he was talking about the manager at the charity shop I used to help out in.

He said she told him they don't get antiques valued. Well I know for a fact they have a lady who helps out who is very up on antiques and they put back anything they aren't sure about and she looks at it and researches if she's not sure then prices accordingly. But oh no, I was wrong and he's right so I said whatever and looked away.

He did ask why I was in a funny mood lately but I don't know what to say.
I just don't know what to do sad sad .
(sorry for essay).

Tortoise Wed 23-Jan-13 16:27:05

Also he's so miserable about everything. Especially the snow, which I understand some people don't like, but he wouldn't even suffer it for his 5 yr olds sake and come sledging with us Friday. He doesn't ever come anywhere with us. Always says no money or too busy.

Tortoise Wed 23-Jan-13 16:29:44

oh, and just to add to it, I did accept maybe they don't have the antiques lady anymore but he wouldn't even accept they used to, even if she's not there now (which is very very very unlikely!)

CheckpointCharlie Wed 23-Jan-13 21:05:26

Grrrr how ANNOYING tort!!!!! I hate it when I know someone is wrong and they won't admit it!!!!!

Have you got anything you can look forward to? Anything at the weekend? How are your kids, are they all healthy? When my LO is poorly I could literally cry all day with the stress..

didi I have one of those coming up, we now have three a year [hmmm] and I have got to make an outstanding lesson based on using an index.......!
Aaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! Pressure is enormous, how did yours go?

Schooldidi Wed 23-Jan-13 21:23:30

It was ok CCC. I haven't had much feedback yet other than a fairly vague but encouraging comment about having a wonderful relationship with the class and they obviously felt very safe to get things wrong and that they seem to enjoy a challenge. I think I pitched it a little hard for them so some of them struggled a bit. So I don't think it was outstanding but can't see it being less than good either seeing as they all made progress during the lesson. We have 3 a year too, one by head of dept, one by deputy head and another one by second in dept. Now I just need to get through 2 parents evenings in the next 2 weeks, then another 4 next half term, my mid year review, 'self-evaluation week' and writing all my form reports, including correcting any mistakes by other teachers in their subject reports. I don't quite know when I'll get time to do any teaching, planning or marking hmm, except I know it'll be sleep I miss out on rather than any of that stuff. Wow, that turned into a bit of a rant didn't it?

Tortoise Wed 23-Jan-13 21:55:48

Nothing to look forward to that I can think of. Might take DDs to the cinema Saturday. They want to watch Tinkerbell smile .
I'm working hard listing stuff on my EBay business account so I can see if I can make enough money for a holiday.

JohnnyDeppsfuturewife Wed 23-Jan-13 22:00:49

Hi tort so sorry to hear things are bad with your boyfriend. Would it help you take your mind off your relationship by doing a load of spring cleaning? Given you've got your housing association lady coming you can kill two birds with one stone. I live in clutter and it's driving me potty so I have a big to do list and I'm slowly sorting through one area at a time. This week I've been going through my wardrobe getting more clothes ready for the charity shop and last week I was sorting out the kids clothes and old toys. The house is still a mess but it's A bit better. If you don't know where to start the ladies in the Good housekeeping forum always offer really good advice.

Had another Pilates class. Found it slightly easier however I couldn't find my new workout trousers so I wore some pre diet ones which fell down every time I did a stretch. Not a proper falling down, just enough to expose my flabby stomach that is full of wrinkles now I've lost weight. The class is full of older women like me but it was still mortifying.

youcan how lovely to help in a school. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope you're feeling better about the stag week and dh has stopped trying to make you feel guilty.

JohnnyDeppsfuturewife Wed 23-Jan-13 22:04:31

Just noticed, ccc asks if tort has anything fun lined up and I suggest housework. Gah! I've turned into Monica from friends! blush

<goes off to plump cushions and sort CDs in alphabetical order >

TheHumancatapult Thu 24-Jan-13 04:32:52


Is it time to maybe reevaluate the relationship ? Working out what YOU want from it and maybe telling him .you ate worth and deserve more than your getting by the sounds of it


Glad feeling better and enjoyed having friends round and Taft school time went well


After spending whole term every day in class when my youngest started ( has Sn and signs so I had to teach his 1-1) I take my hat if as seen how much extra preparation goes in ti class and how 30 kids do different


How's the back ?

Johnny must admit I had a good declutter and manged fill both wheelie bins sort wardrobe and then had to go shopping as wadrobe was emptygrin

Early morning workouts are driving me nuts but I found if I put of to later it does not get done .but needs must have 10 weeks and 4 days to Butlins and really want to see a 10 by then

Or the thing that kick started it the trip is. 32 weeks and 4 days and want to be at goal weight by then mind have ti try sticking at it over school summer holidays always a tricky point just hope that dry so can gin out to park etc

Youcanringmybell Thu 24-Jan-13 07:04:47


Morning all...Sorry about all the crap at the moment Tort....tell us some more and get it off your chest.

School and CCC - shock I do not know how you teach. I was really overwhelmed (as I knew I would be) going into a full classroom with everyone busy and the teachers having a two douzen balls in the air yet having complete control of everyone whilst STILL teaching....this is why I feel I need to get into schools slowly...I would freak at the pressure. WELL DONE and thank you for being so good at theaching. It is so hard.

Human- you are so focussed and what you have done is nothing short of a miracle <claps>

I have had a very poor week really...I felt quite ill yesterday and ate crappy food - although I didn't binge at all. Just a few poor choices. I am yet to have a good day this week but I can cope and maybe it will kickstart a good one next week.

Tortoise Thu 24-Jan-13 10:18:18

JD Spring cleaning is the last thing on my mind. grin I hate housework!

Human I honestly don't know what I want. Been with him for a year and a half. Was single for about 6 years before that. And that was a terrible relationship with a man who was violent to my Ds1, emotionally and sexually abused me (can't bring my self to use the R word sad ). That's my 2 DDs dad sad .

My head is all over the place. I'm crap at talking things over. I withdraw and keep it all inside instead. Boyf has asked if I'm ok and all I could say was I'm fine. sad
Sorry for offloading all my crap on here. I have no one else to talk to.

TheHumancatapult Thu 24-Jan-13 10:19:43


Only focused as this holiday took every penny my nan left me ( instructions was it had to be frivolous and judged as that by my grandad she knew otherwise I'd be to sensible and practical ) plus every penny I can save beg and borrow . So I have to loose it to make most of it

Schooldidi Thu 24-Jan-13 14:29:56

Human You definitely need to make the most of this holiday, that's what your nan would want. I'm glad you have a goal to keep you focussed, I think I'm missing that really. I've only ever lost weight properly when I've had something to aim for (last time I was aiming for dd2 and it worked).

Tortoise Have you had counselling to help you deal with your past? It sounds like you could do with having somebody to talk to. I do the same as you though and bottle everything up without talking to anybody and the thought of counselling would have me running for the hills but my friend has found it is really helping her deal with all of her issues (she has similar issues to you). I would definitely have a think about your relationship with your bf though. Relationships are supposed to make your life happier in the long run, they aren't supposed to be difficult all the time (obviously there are times when relationships are difficult but not a lot). Does he make your life happier or sadder? That is the question you need to ask yourself. You would cope without him, you did before you met him. Do you have many rl friends who could help cheer you up?

I had my feedback from my observation today and my lesson was good but not outstanding (since when do people think of 'good' as being disappointing?). I apparently need to be sterner as I'm too nice and didn't growl at the girl with her phone out, I just took it off her and let her have it back at the end (as is school policy, and she has never done it before, nobody in that class has), and I need to tighten up on my timings. All things I have been told before but I don't like being too 'stern', it's not me.

Tortoise Thu 24-Jan-13 17:04:24

Didi I haven't and don't think I could talk about it. That time is still so painful to think about. All the bad stuff my poor DS suffered plus ss took DSs to live with their dad. I fought (successfully) for 2 years to get them back home.
I know I would be fine single and life wouldnt really change but it would be nice to have a relationship that works out. He does make me happy sometimes! grin

I had to pick DD2 up from school early because she had tummy ache. I think it was wind because she's ok now!

CheckpointCharlie Thu 24-Jan-13 19:23:37

Ohtort sad that sounds rather awful. sad maybe try and tell your bf what he needs to do to cheer you up, sounds a bit like he cares and could you give him the chance to help? Daunting though I know.

didi cool!!!!!! Good is bloody excellent!!! It is almost impossible to get good! I know what you mean re stuff to do. Although I don't have that much at the mo! I am doing an open evening for my curricular subject soon, which will shock a few parents (deliberately). Mine are the opposite end of the school though, they are littlies.

johnny I don't believe that you are old!!!!!!!!

youcan I am coming for a cup of tea tomorrow!

JohnnyDeppsfuturewife Thu 24-Jan-13 21:59:14

Oh tortoise I'm so sorry to hear that. I find it hard to talk to people about personal things and I haven't suffered from any of the abuse that you have so I do have a small understanding of why you wouldn't want counselling. I wish I could help, or maybe there's another more suitable forum on mn with people who have had similar experiences. Otherwise keep moaning about bf here, i think it's good to have somewhere to rant.

I am having an ok week food wise. Today I had prawns as a treat, but generally i have been eating salads and whole meal tortilla wraps at lunchtime. I've got a food delivery coming tomorrow so hopefully I'll not go mad at the weekend unless dd1 and dh gang up on me and announce they want a pizza. Again.

TheHumancatapult Thu 24-Jan-13 22:38:13


Something similar to you but not ex partner but it took me over 20 years to report it to the police and looks like it is going to court it passed the police threshhold test and waiting on crown prisecution service Have to say police were fab Fron original statement through to making statement on film and through interviews

Being honest finally telling someone about it lifted a huge weight of my shoulders and it was mainly then I been able to tackle other areas in my life . Weight being one of them self confidence another .

As for being single I much prefer it I could never live full time with a man under my feet plus lol I'm way to stubborn nowadays

TheHumancatapult Thu 24-Jan-13 22:43:10

Johnny well done on being good and small slice won't hurt sounds very more ish < hungry >

Didi good is bloody fab I know they have moved the goalposts to . Well done You

Yup am counting down almost but I admit I looked at menus for food places blush as need book character meals by March !!food was included with deal when booked and do much choice I suspect I shall need be dieting when I get back [Grin]

JohnnyDeppsfuturewife Thu 24-Jan-13 23:05:04

human feeling envy of your holiday. Even if you put ona few pounds you'll lose them in a few weeks.

I think i'm eating well at the moment because I have a single friend's 40th birthday in march. I don't go out much any more so I am thinking of buying a new dress for it. Want to be low 11s by then. That would be a miracle, I'm not sure if I've been that thin since uni 20 years ago.

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