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Is this reasonable

(34 Posts)
lorribell Sun 26-May-19 19:50:54

Planning small wedding (20 guests), therefore venues will only cater for this on a weekday.

Is it reasonable to expect guests to book 2 days off work to attend the wedding, driving two hours to get there.

1. We will pay for there 5 star accommodation for the night plus breakfast.
2. Dinner and free bar until 10pm.
3. 1 years notice for this also

OP’s posts: |
OnlyFoolsnMothers Sun 26-May-19 19:53:17

Does anyone you will be inviting have kids?

ItsSetInStone Sun 26-May-19 19:53:56

Yes! If you're only inviting 20 people, it would be your nearest and closest friends family, I'd hope they would give 2 days annual leave for.your wedding

lorribell Sun 26-May-19 19:54:49

Yes there will be 7 children why?

OP’s posts: |
Bodear Sun 26-May-19 19:55:09

I would if I was one of your 20.

lorribell Sun 26-May-19 19:56:04

Forgot to add it will be next August so no school for children and the people invited normally driving around for holidays in the country so they are all used to long car journeys

OP’s posts: |
Seaandsand83 Sun 26-May-19 19:56:53

Will the children be of school age?

OnlyFoolsnMothers Sun 26-May-19 19:57:02

Oh then if In August and you’re paying I think it’s fine

Usuallyinthemiddle Sun 26-May-19 19:57:45

Sounds lovely if the kids can come. I'm in!

PurpleDaisies Sun 26-May-19 19:59:04

I don’t think it’s right to ask anyone to book time off work for a wedding, even if it sounds amazing.

lorribell Sun 26-May-19 20:01:14

I'm going to speak to the venue to see if they can do a Friday but they are insistent that it has to be a weekday due to the size

OP’s posts: |
Madasahattersteaparty1749 Sun 26-May-19 20:08:46

If I was invited I would go as it would be a mini break for the children in the summer holidays.

lorribell Sun 26-May-19 20:15:28

It's a really beautiful location, it has a swimming pool/spa facilities the guests can use and walking trails. Beside a lovely lake so would be tranquil as a short getaway/wedding. Close to a beach also

OP’s posts: |
flowerstar19 Sun 26-May-19 20:21:29

Sounds lovely OP, wish I was one of your 20!

BackforGood Sun 26-May-19 20:23:11

I think the fact that there will only be 20 people is relevant, as it means the people you are inviting are presumably really close to you, which affects the answers.
Yes, i'd be happy to d that for my sister, but less so for someone a bit further away in closeness.
Also depends of course how much leave you get etc etc.

Ratatatouille Sun 26-May-19 20:35:11

I'm afraid it is unreasonable to "expect" it. You can ask, nothing wrong with that, but if they don't want to take two days of annual leave and drive for two hours to your wedding then you don't really have grounds to be mad about it. That said, I suppose it depends who the guests are/what reasons they give if they decline. E.g if my brother told me he just didn't want to come I would be pretty heartbroken. If he had an important work commitment then I'd understand because he loves his job and I wouldn't expect him to jeopardise that for my wedding.

There are very, very few people whose wedding I would be happy to take annual leave for. We had to do it for BIL's wedding (we're not close) and it just pissed me off being dictated how to use my very limited holiday allowance. If I could have got out of it without WW3 then I would have.

lorribell Sun 26-May-19 20:36:10

Thank you for the advice I am going to try push the venue to allow a Friday, I mean if they have or free why not

OP’s posts: |
FizzBuzzBangWoof Sun 26-May-19 20:39:11

If you are only inviting 20 guests then assume they are all either close family or dear friends

I wouldn't have a problem with using 2 days annual leave to attend the wedding of a very close friend or relative

TeenTimesTwo Sun 26-May-19 20:40:36

2hrs is quite nearby for a wedding.
It is close enough that if needed they can leave at 7am and be at work by 9am. (or not stay the night at all).
Or if wedding doesn't start until say 2:30pm they can do a morning's work before turning up.

Moll45 Sun 26-May-19 20:44:50

Just wondering have you it booked? Why don't you ask the guests would they be able to get the time off. I presume if it's just 20 people ye are asking that they would be all fairly close to ye and if they want to go they will be there.

lorribell Sun 26-May-19 20:45:02

Yes it's a straight drive may be less than 2 hours if traffic is ok

OP’s posts: |
Langrish Sun 26-May-19 20:46:12

Sounds perfect. You really don’t need to invite people’s children.

lorribell Sun 26-May-19 20:46:56

No I haven't booked it yet. I could ask I suppose but would like to avoid that if possible.

OP’s posts: |
lorribell Sun 26-May-19 20:47:27

I don't mind the children, it would provide entertainment for our dc anyway. I will make sure they have a great time

OP’s posts: |
Pppppppp1234 Sun 26-May-19 20:49:07

Perfectly reasonable, I’d give notice soon though as people might need to start booking leave for next August soon.

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