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Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

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Find weaning advice from other Mumsnetters on our Weaning forum. Use our child development calendar for more information.

Weaning

Early weaning - how to offer advice without causing a riot?

96 replies

FlabbyTumSquashyBum · 20/10/2008 10:12

Sorry to post a link to another site again but this has really bothered me. This is my birthboard on another site and some of the babies aren't even 3 months yet. I want to offer advice, mainly because others reading the thread might assume early weaning is ok because everyone else is doing it, but I want to do it in a way that won't cause a weaning war. What do you think is the best approach to take?

OP posts:

Report

Amberc · 20/10/2008 10:26

I say leave well alone. Everyone is well informed these days about why they shouldn't do it but they still do. Personally I think it's boredom and making purees is something to do - believe me I have been tempted (My DS 18 weeks). People will do what they want at the end of the day although I would definitely say something about chocolate buttons - that's pure crap in an immature digestive system and the mum really should know better (not to mention the chicking hazard).

Amberc · 20/10/2008 10:27

choking clearly

DeJaVous · 20/10/2008 10:27

You need VictorianSqualor for this one...

VictorianSqualorSquelchNSquirm · 20/10/2008 10:35

Well. Depends what you want to tell them.
You can pretty much guarantee that whatever you say they will carry on. I normally just say that I'm not sure if they're aware why the guidelines are what they are and then proceed to tell them. If they say we already know and don't care I'll say that I feel I had to say something incase a new mother reads it and doesn't know the facts.

FlabbyTumSquashyBum · 20/10/2008 10:40

Ta. I really don't want to cause a war and I'm not branding anyone a bad mother, but as you say the facts need to be said for those who may be reading and looking for advice. Shall tread carefully.

OP posts:

BloodshotEyeballsintheScarySky · 20/10/2008 10:44

I know we've been here before but... chocolate buttons for a 3 month old?? FFS.

VictorianSqualorSquelchNSquirm · 20/10/2008 10:55

The reasons behind the guidelines will be on my blog asap. I'm trying to write it at the moment but am not in the best frame of mind. Once it's up you can just link to it or copy and paste.

www.wait2wean.blogspot.com

MrsJamin · 20/10/2008 15:12

oops

must. not. read. b.c. again.

FlabbyTumSquashyBum · 20/10/2008 15:38

I thought I recognised the name! It seems that it's ok to advocate early weaning but not to point out the risks. Ho hum.

OP posts:

MrsJamin · 20/10/2008 18:42

just why I stopped going to BC - it's just too "hun just do what you think best 4 ur bubba" for me.

ChairmumMiaow · 20/10/2008 19:37

Arggh. I felt like I had to post on that one, even though the whole bounty thing already wound me up. I don't want to get started on it though, they really don't want to listen

AnarchyAunt · 20/10/2008 19:45

Oh heck.

I will try to summon the energy...

Amberc · 20/10/2008 20:01

OMG - that thread has made me feel ill. I can't believe some of their babies are being given rusks pre 6 months and some are being weaned as early as 11 weeks. They have completely ignored the guidelines which say no earlier than 17 weeks just as I said they would in my first post even when faced with an extremely well writen and non judgemental post from Chaimummiaow. Even I feel like I want to post on there now as what some of them are doing is downright dangerous. Those poor babies - I despair.

ChairmumMiaow · 20/10/2008 20:18

I don't get how they can just completely ignore these things!? They can't jump on me because I tried to be as non-judgemental as possible (even though I feel like shouting at them) but it just gets ignored. Hopefully the lurkers will see it though!

whoisdoingthedishes · 20/10/2008 20:36

custard at 4 months?

AnarchyAunt · 20/10/2008 20:40

I just love the way they get all huffity and accuse posters who happen to (politely!) disagree of being rude/aggressive/troublemakers/gatecrashers etc.

They'd not last 5 minutes on MN, some of them - imagine their first AIBU

FlabbyTumSquashyBum · 20/10/2008 21:11

They don't listen. Their thinking basically comes down to this:

'Guidelines always change anyway (therefore must be made up?), I know loads of people who were weaned early and they're ok (truly?) and I know my baby best'

The facts and REAL RISKS to their babies don't seem to register with them.

OP posts:

AnarchyAunt · 20/10/2008 22:11

Yep... "Cos s/he is soooo advanced, and a big/small baby, and wanted feeding, ooooh, every three hours, and happy mum = happy baby, and they are doing what is best for their babies, and you are not living in the real world, and s/he needed more than milk, and their mum/gran/SIL/window cleaner said so, as did the HV , and don't worry about the BF mafia, and s/he loves it and can't get enough, and anyway it never did [insert irrelevant anecdotal person here] any harm, and you're just a perfect mum come to troublemake and grief us peeps when we know best"

That about what you get when you try to talk sense.

ChairmumMiaow · 21/10/2008 08:09

I longed for 3 hourly feeding with my DS even up to around 4/5 months. He went from feeding practically all the time to being bloody awful to get to feed at all in the day (and then fed every hour or so at night). They need one of those babies to learn what frequent feeding really is!

But of course if I'd given him 2 teaspoons of baby rice at 10 weeks, that would surely have fixed it!

VictorianSqualorSquelchNSquirm · 21/10/2008 09:06

Ha, the 'guidelines are forever changing' line. Bolleaux.
I really am going to try and get the reasons typed up today!

lulumama · 21/10/2008 09:10

why aren;t the forum administrators or moderators not stepping in.. they are deleting and disallowing the correct information from being printed

i doubt they would delete threads berating parents for not using appropriate car seats, or for ignoring the advice to put babies to sleep on their backs

but it is ok to pretend that 4 weeks old need rusks /rice or farking chocolate buttons!

we all need to lobby bounty and other forums surely, so that the matter is taken in hand

MrsBadger · 21/10/2008 09:12

[rant]

the real reason is that it's a braggable developmental milestone controlled by the mother, not the child.

you can't make them roll / sit up / crawl earlier
but you can shovel farking custard into them at 13wks and say 'Oh he is on solids'

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HormonalHorror · 21/10/2008 09:15

A baby of 3 months and 2 days being given CHOCOLATE BUTTONS!! God I am so shocked I haven't even changed my name back from this one I've used for something else.

Chocolate buttons?

She must be insane.

nickytwoooohtimes · 21/10/2008 09:26

Sorry, I'm still reeling from the tickers.
Tbh, I don't think they will listen to reason anyone, will they?

HormonalHorror · 21/10/2008 09:29

Chocolate buttons???

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