Feel very sad having just witnessed my friend force feeding her son 17 weeks.

[geordiemacminx]

Had a friend and her son round for a coffee this afternoon. He is 17 weeks, she plonked him in the highchair and begand feeding him bananna custard type thing... It was so sad to watch, he clearly wasnt physically developed enough, every spoon full she was puttin in was gettin pushed back out by his tongue. He has been on solids since he was 3 months... Although I can kinda see why she would try, as at 4 months he is 21lb, which is heaier than my ds who is 8 1/2 months, but clearly he isnt ready.

This isnt a rant about jars, or purees or anything as that what I started my ds on, think he was 5 1/2 months when wegave him pureed fruit but this poor litle thing clearlydidnt understand what was going on.

[sparklygothkat]

Callum is 16 weeks and so not ready for solids, I am waiting for him to be ready. why is she feedig him now?

[princessmel]

I've seen that too. It was awful to watch. The baby was wimpering and slumped over in the chair. I commented that he looked full or said maybe he wasn't interested etc and his mum said 'oh he's got all this to go yet' and produced a yog and fruit etc. He had started off wanting to eat but when he'd clearly had enough she just kept on going

[geordiemacminx]

She started him on solids at 3 months because he was taking 15 oz of milk at each feed, and having been 10lb 8oz at birth he had doubled his weight... so I can kinda see why she would try, especially as she has 2 older kids, but surely she can see he isnt ready? It was just dribbling down his chin

[LoveAngel]

I also had a friend who force fed her son from 16 weeks. I found it quite distressing to watch, and at one stage I did say to her 'I don't know if he is enjoying that', to which she replied 'I don't care if he's enjoying it, it's meal time not play time', which shut me up . It put me off her a bit to be honest (she wasn't a great friend, more an acquaintance) as her son used to gag and cry and she would still be spooning it in. He was a big, healthy boy, so I was never sure why she felt it was so urgent to get 3 meals a day into him...?

I weaned my son at 5 months, so I'm not ranting at early weaners in general.

[PrettyCandles]

What princessmel describes does sound like forcefeeding, but I don't see what's so wrong with what geordie describes. Maybe it's not according to guidelines, maybe it's unnecessary, but the baby doesn't sound like he's suffering.

When we weaned ds1 the advice was 4m (in fact my HV was pushing for me to start at 16w) and he was clearly not physically ready and pushed the food back out all the time. But he also clearly enjoyed it and wanted more. He hadn't a clue where the food was coming from, or what was food and what wasn't, nor what to do with finger food, but dab a spoon with puree on his lip and he opened up like a little bird. And then shoved it out with his tongue and asked for more.

[LynetteScavo]

Geordie, my eldest is 9. 9 years ago, this was condisdered normal (by the people I was in contact with, atleast) I couldn't understand it then. I see peoples ideas have changed.

[CrushWithEyeliner]

that is awful - I just hate people force-feeding babies like that, is is so bloody obvious when they don't want it

[lottymadbird]

did you say anything to her?

was her DS upset by it? maybe after a few weeks of wasted food she might reconsider.

[geordiemacminx]

I'm not saying that early weaning is wrong, I started ds at 5 months, but at that point he was ready in my eyes, he enjoyed food, opened his mouth showed an interest etc.

Her ds wasnt opening his mouth, didnt seem remotely interested she was just pushing it in as fast as he was pushing it out... theh had a 9oz bottle which he clearly enojyed far more.

I really can understand why she started, and why the HV would suggest it but surely she must be able to see that its pointless?

[LynetteScavo]

I've noticed that babies vomiting on their mothers oftern changes the mothers attitude.

[geordiemacminx]

FioFio, I certainly didnt sugest she was being cruel, I just found it strange and quite sad thats all. I've never had a view on early weaning or BLW or any of the other "hot debates" on here, especially as I only have ds. I was just quite surprised that it upset me and shocked me to be honest.

[bourboncream]

A girl i know started weaning at 16 weeks and she said that her ds was making such a fuss screaming/crying etc when trying to shovel baby rice down his neck that every time he tried to spit it out she would shove the dummy in so hed suck to swallow it.i thought that was awful.made me but i didnt have the guts to say anything

[kerala]

Some people (god knows why) think it is a badge of honour to wean early. One friend was so proud to tell me her baby was "on three meals a day" at 4 months - the implication being that as my dd still wasnt on solids at 6 months I was somehow behind the curve. Very odd.

Though is the same friend who had her newborn on a strict routine (she was bf) and refused to feed her even when she showed all the signs of hunger (rooting, mewling)

[Desiderata]

Mine was chewing on a raw T-bone at four months, and there's nowt wrong with him.

[StripeyMamaSpanx]

Someone I know has just started her 18 week old dd on baby rice in a bottle for the evening feed to 'get her sleeping longer'

Her dd already sleeps from midnight to 8am without waking...

[yurt1]

'force feeding' does rather suggest you think its cruel. It might be misguided, but if your baby had been born 8 years ago you would have been told to wean at 16 weeks.

[yurt1]

Actually less than 8 years ago- I think the guidelines were still 16 weeks for ds2 (6 this week).

[jorange5]

So can someone not voice their feelings on here without ridicule now? So maybe you think that this sort of thing is/was the norm, but geordiemacminx felt sad watching something that looked cruel and unnatural to her. I'm not suggesting everyone should be shaking their head in disgust at such goings on but I was surprised at some of the attitude she has had on this thread.

[Desiderata]

Oh, boo hoo!

[geordiemacminx]

Thanks jorange5.

Perhaps "forcefeeding" was the wrong choice of pharse, but seeing a 4 month old baby slumped in a highchair, having food shovelled into his mouth, dribbling down his chin, coughing and spluttering wasnt a particulary nice experience.

I was making the point that I had never really had an opinion on this matter until today, when it made me feel quite sad, especially as she proudly told me he had been on baby rice since he was 3 months old... its quite a while since the guidelines were 3 months..

[Octothechildherder]

GMM - mine have all been before the guidelines tbh but they were all ready as such - if they weren't interested or spat it out I wouldn't have carried on as it would have been like I was forcing it on them. If the baby sits there with its mouth wide open and 'shouts' at you for more or fusses others eat - then yes, its fine. If they clearly aren't ready, then can understand your sadness.

Lots of people don't say what they have done on mn because they feel they may get ridiculed. I am happy with the decisions I have made because I could see mine were ready and they are 'hoofers'

[smartiejake]

Mine were both weaned at 16 weeks (having been exclusively breast fed) They were both ready for it and opened their mouths readily At the time (10 or 11 years ago) 16 weeks was the recommended time to try weaning. Doesn't sound like your friends dc is ready though

[jorange5]

The OP was not saying 'Ooh I don't think anyone should wean their babies before the guidelines say so'. If your baby was ready at 16 weeks or whatever then fine, this baby clearly was not and that was probably quite distressing to watch.

And what did that mean Desiderata? Boo hoo a baby is being mistreated? Nice.

[elesbells]

mistreated? how is he being mistreated?