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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

The litter tray

To want a mourning ring for my cat?

32 replies

catlovingdoctor · 28/03/2015 22:55

My lovely cat sadly died this morning. I know it sounds a bit macabre/morbid but I think a ring with her name engraved on it somewhere and a black stone might be a nice way to remember her and always keep her close to me. Apparently this sort of thing was very common years back. I'm a guy so I don't want to seem weird. Do I just sound a bit silly or does it sound like a nice thing to do?

OP posts:

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MrsNuckyThompson · 28/03/2015 23:02

Sorry about your cat. There isn't anything wrong with marking her death; personally I don't like men with jewellery other than a plain ring but that's just me.

SirVixofVixHall · 28/03/2015 23:04

I think having a ring with her name on is fine, not weird. The black stone is maybe a goth step too far, but as I have a little locket containing the hair of a cat of mine who died 28 years ago, then I'm hardly able to comment on that!
Are you burying her in the garden? I have a tile with my old dogs dates on, in my garden. He was buried somewhere else, but the tile goes in every garden I have. You could also put her pawprint on a tile, or as a print on paper, if she hasn't been buried yet.
I'm sorry you've lost her . She sounds very loved.

imjustahead · 28/03/2015 23:08

i don't think it's silly at all. You are in pain right now, and wish to have her close.
Give it a little time and the right ring will come along, i think something plain with an engraving inside it might be nice?
Or even a friendship type bracelet or silver/copper band. Depends on what type of clothing and styles you wear.

Very sorry about your cat op x

SirVixofVixHall · 28/03/2015 23:11

I just had a little look on etsy and there are all sorts of pet memorials, from stones to rings with the name on the inside, picture frames with the pets name on etc. Some are tacky but not all, so you could have a browse and see if there is something that appeals to you ( //www.etsy.com ) Similar stuff on notonthehighst.com or Folksy. ( e.g.handmade things that can be personalised)

MedusaIsHavingaBadHairday · 29/03/2015 00:24

I have a necklace with a little bullet sized container with a piece of Morph's fur in it. I hadn't even thought about it but when he was pts the vet trimmed a bit and gave it to me in a little memorial box.
My DS1 (grown up ) has a bracelet with some of his fur in too, as he loved him as much as I did. It comforts us both :)

It's absolutely fine to have a keepsake in whatever way suits you :)

I am sorry for your loss xx

MedusaIsHavingaBadHairday · 29/03/2015 00:26

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Contemporary-Urn-Bracelet-Memorial-Ash-Keepsake-Cremation-Jewellery-/321694829968?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_3&hash=item4ae6818d90 This is what my son wears :)

catlovingdoctor · 29/03/2015 02:54

Thanks everybody, I'm still coming to terms with it and I'm in shock. The house just feels empty and I don't even want to change my bed sheets (where she was sitting next to me not 24 hours ago ). I'll definitely browse those links, I just thought it would be a nice way to remember her. We're actually burying her in my sister's garden in the countryside (next to her cat) as our garden is more of a yard so we can't dig. Thank you for your kind words everybody, this really has been the hardest day of my life

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MistressMerryWeather · 29/03/2015 02:59

It sounds lovely to me.

Rather than a black stone, what colour were her eyes?

catlovingdoctor · 29/03/2015 03:02

She had lovely green eyes

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MistressMerryWeather · 29/03/2015 04:02

Maybe a lovely green stone then?

If you have any pictures of her we could find you a nice ring.

Amy106 · 29/03/2015 04:06

I am very sorry for your loss. Your ring idea sounds lovely.

RubbishMantra · 29/03/2015 08:47

Do you have any of her whiskers?

For some reason I keep my cat's when I find them about the house. Stash them in a little box.

Bless you for your loss.

SoupDragon · 29/03/2015 08:50

I put a brass plaque on our garden bench in memory of our cat.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 29/03/2015 09:17

Sorry
What about tigers eye or something? You can get green tigers eye which would make a nice ring. Just make it subtle so it's not obvious what it is because an obvious cat memorial ring would be perceived by lots of people as a bit odd.

HagOtheNorth · 29/03/2015 10:03

Of course it's not silly, if you want to remember your cat in a particular way, then do it. There's a star with the same name as our cat, and DS and I still says goodnight to it on a regular basis. He's 20.
You'll only seem weird if you ell all and sundry what your ring represents and then only those who have never loved a cat will think it odd.
I think it's lovely that you had her in your life, their loss leaves a gigantic hole far out of proportion to their physical size.

SirVixofVixHall · 29/03/2015 17:58

DH and I have been catless for 10 years but we still talk about the cats, the one that he was most bonded too, and the ones that were "mine", in particular. I still miss them, as I do the two dogs I had before this one. It does hurt horribly when a pet you love (and are loved by), dies. It can be a bit of a shock too, both the death, and how poleaxed it can make you feel. Do something really nice this week, and be kind to yourself. You have lost a friend, and their going does leave a gap. But over time it stops being so painful and you have all the lovely memories of your little companion in life. I'm sure you will find something perfect for you, to help keep her memory.

catlovingdoctor · 29/03/2015 18:50

Thank you all. I really appreciate the fact that some people are able to relate to me and how awful this feels. I went out today and bought a nice box and some paper tissue; I'm going to put her favourite towel and some of her other bits in them and have them as a keepsake. We'll lay her to rest on Friday at my sister's so I can always go there and know she's safe. I'm going to keep looking for a nice ring (once my student loan comes in anyway!) which I'll have engraved with her name and a nice stone. I want a black stone to show my sorrow at her passing but at the same time she was the bubbliest, happiest little soul ever so maybe green/other colour would be better...dunno, will see. Thank you all once again, it means a lot.

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catlovingdoctor · 29/03/2015 18:51

A nice picture of her

To want a mourning ring for my cat?

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PinkSparklyPussyCat · 29/03/2015 18:54

She's gorgeous. Can you tell us a bit more about her? (Please don't feel you have to if you'd rather not).

I don't think your idea is mad at all, but then again I plan to have H's ashes made into a 'diamond' (DH doesn't know this!).

I'm so sorry for your loss

catlovingdoctor · 29/03/2015 19:00

Thank you Pink. She really was my little princess. Her name was Ophelia. Would come and "talk" to anybody. She was strangely quiet last weekend so we went to the vets who said she was underweight and probably had lymphoma. She also seemed very disorientated and unable to walk/jump at all. Took her for another appointment yesterday and we were told she'd lost even more weight and lost her sight, and a tumour was now palpable. It was heart breaking but we didn't want her to suffer for any longer so we agreed for her to be put to sleep. A very dark day, our other cat is missing her too. Thanks for your wishes, it means lots x

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PinkSparklyPussyCat · 29/03/2015 19:55

Ophelia suits her!

I can't offer any words of comfort but I do know how hard it is to make that decision as I had to do it last year. My old boy had only been with us 6 months but it was the hardest thing I've had to do but also in some ways the easiest as it was absolutely the right thing for him as I couldn't let him suffer.

DidoTheDodo · 29/03/2015 20:04

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your cat. She looks gorgeous!
As regards the ring, anything that makes you feel better sounds fine to me.
I have just bought myself new glasses which are tortoiseshell like my wonderful and missed Didokitty. OK that may be coincidental, but I like to think I am wearing her on my nose!

SirVixofVixHall · 29/03/2015 20:28

Oh she's really beautiful! What a pretty cat. She looks as though she would be quite a chatty cat?

timtam23 · 29/03/2015 20:44

Beautiful, beautiful cat. So sorry for your loss. I think it's a lovely idea to have a ring engraved to remember her by. As others have said, I would have the engraving on the inside. I also have a little ornament of a cat sitting with its paws curled under it which is exactly how my cat used to sit. It reminds me of him without being too obviously a memorial.

Degustibusnonestdisputandem · 29/03/2015 20:48

I don't think it's weird at all, I think it's lovely . I still miss my choccy oriental Loki cat, and I have his ashes to be buried with me in the (touch wood!). Very very far future he was my PFB

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