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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Eating disorder

61 replies

Rasm1 · 01/10/2019 17:53

My daughter is 14 and severely underweight..after visiting the doctor we have been told today her BMI is below 15. She knows how thin she is and hates it, she doesn't make herself sick or anything but the doctor now thinks she's anorexic? Has anyone heard of this form of anorexia before?

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BeBraveAndBeKind · 01/10/2019 17:59

Is the GP referring her to a specialist?

My DS has been with the eating disorders service for almost a year now. His BMI was 13.4 when we started and it's now at 14.9. He presents in the same way as your daughter, in that he wants to grow and put on weight, but he's unable to make himself eat enough. We have two different supplements to top up his calories and he's not allowed to do PE or any activity that burns calories unnecessarily. His clinician doesn't think its anorexia but is more of an anxiety response (although he disagrees).

Rasm1 · 01/10/2019 19:47

Yes she has been referred to camhs. Our doctor has also done lots of blood tests and an ecg today..
I've read so much about anorexia but not in the form my daughter has, I'm glad to speak to someone in a similar situation. She never feels hungry therefore was only eating 1 meal per day. This was because she had no option at suppertime as we all eat together..

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lljkk · 01/10/2019 19:53

Does she struggle to eat full meals?

Rasm1 · 01/10/2019 20:04

Yes she does, she loved potatoes, veg and chicken but as time has went on all she's eating now is the potatoes and gravy..it's a struggle but we don't move until she's finished. her diet has become less and less, she's very fussy..

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lljkk · 01/10/2019 20:16

Every (active) anorexic I've met was miserable. They radiate unhappiness.

AFAIK, they can diagnose it just from blood tests. That will be one of the first parts of the assessment. Good luck. It's a long journey.

Rasm1 · 01/10/2019 20:36

Yea I've always thought that aswel.. the only thing she is unhappy with is the fact she is soo thin and obviously then that's what causes the blackouts, dizziness and tiredness

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BeBraveAndBeKind · 01/10/2019 20:51

She never feels hungry therefore was only eating 1 meal per day.

Same for DS. He would go for days on only tiny amounts if we weren't telling him to eat. He's also become progressively more and more fussy. He ate more when he was a toddler (both in food variety and quantity).

Fingers crossed that the CAHMS appointment comes through quickly and you can get the ball rolling. It's so stressful.

Rasm1 · 01/10/2019 20:57

They appear to have lots of the same symptoms so itl be interesting to hear what camhs say. Thankyou for all your comments

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Rasm1 · 04/10/2019 15:32

Being seen by camhs on Wednesday..has anyone else experience with them..what happens when we see them?

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BeBraveAndBeKind · 04/10/2019 17:44

No experience I'm afraid but glad you didn't have to wait long.

Rasm1 · 06/10/2019 13:42

Yes I was impressed how quick they are going to see her..she is now saying she feels sick because we are making her eat more. 😕

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littleorangecat22 · 06/10/2019 14:26

She isn't anorexic if she isn't obsessing over calories and feeling/seeing herself as fat despite weight loss, isn't afraid of gaining weight etc. It's concerning that a doctor diagnosed anorexia and referred for mental health when she doesn't want to lose weight and is upset about being thin. That's not typical of anorexia at all.

If the problem is that she has no appetite and eating makes her feel physically unwell, she may not have an eating disorder stemming from mental illness, but a physical illness such as adrenal insufficiency. CAHMS should be able to differentiate as more experienced in the mental health side than GP, but I'd be pushing for investigation ninto a physical reason instead rather than accepting that it's a mental illnesss under the circumstances.

Rasm1 · 06/10/2019 15:17

To be honest I'm thinking same as yourself, I don't believe she is anorexic..their main concern is because her bmi has dropped below 15 and she has no appetite at all, she's living on 1 small meal per day and has become very fussy. Now we are making her try to eat more she isn't wanting to eat because shes feeling sick. She's had lots of tests done and still awaiting some results.

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BeBraveAndBeKind · 06/10/2019 18:29

We've been doing the same @Rasm1. It's hard and distressing having them so upset but it's what we've been advised. Eating so little is self perpetuating and feeling sick when she eats will be an outcome of that. If it's any reassurance, DS has only actually been sick a handful of times in the last year. Hopefully CAHMS will have some good advice and support strategies. Has the GP suggested anything to supplement her calorie intake? DS is taking Fortisip and Calogen each day.

Rasm1 · 06/10/2019 19:38

@BeBraveAndBeKind no they havnt, prob something I should look into..can't believe the similarities there is between them, their thoughts and eating habits are so alike.

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BeBraveAndBeKind · 09/10/2019 16:41

How did you get on today @Rasm1?

Rasm1 · 10/10/2019 20:33

@BeBraveAndBeKind her weight has dropped down again but they say this can happen. Consultant said she has an eating disorder but not anorexia. She had been given vitimans and iron tablets, Heart rate is continuing to stay high now so more blood tests tomorrow and Monday along with another ecg..she has now been taken out of school aswel and advised against any physical activity. Back again next thurs

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BeBraveAndBeKind · 10/10/2019 20:56

Sounds like they're expediting everything which is good. How are you doing?

Rasm1 · 11/10/2019 09:30

@BeBraveAndBeKind I'm doing ok, it's all so much to take in. Cried myself stupid the first few days and still blame myself for not noticing sooner that something wasn't right. We have always said to her she needs to eat more but wasn't until very recently we realised how bad things had got. We also work full time and have 3 other kids so our lives are so busy, it's def made us slow down and take more notice.really glad we went to the gp when we did.

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BeBraveAndBeKind · 11/10/2019 10:39

I can relate to that. I've spent many a time crying with fear and frustration in the last year. You're doing everything you can to help so try to take some time to be kind to yourself.

She's getting the help she needs now so hopefully it's all improvement from here. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat.

Rasm1 · 11/10/2019 12:25

@BeBraveAndBeKind I will do, Thankyou very much

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basicallylex · 13/10/2019 12:32

Didn’t want to read and run.
Have you looked into ARFID?
Avoidant/ restrictive food intake disorder, often appears as very fussy eaters who lose lots of weight. Less fixated on being thin than typical anorexia. Do research it, I think it might make some sense for you.
Hand hold❤️

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Lovemenorca · 13/10/2019 12:44

I very much suspect she does want to be thin
But presents herself to you as simply having a low appetite

basicallylex · 13/10/2019 12:54

good point people with anorexia can be very secretive, i had AN age 15 and denied wanting to lose weight, said i was too sad to eat.
it becomes obvious though- fixation on calories, watch out for body checking (constantly looking at reflections or feeling your body for weight gain or to judge shape/ size). i’m sure you know your daughter and your intution is probably right.
it sounds so incredibly difficult, i really hope you find some answers and help.💜

Rasm1 · 13/10/2019 13:24

No I honestly believe her when she says she hates being so thin, she always comments on how her friends look great because they are bigger in size than her and how she would prefer to be overweight and underweight..she would never check food for calories etc and eats lots of junk food

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