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17 year old son with 19 year old boyfriend.

(54 Posts)
lawlawlaw Fri 25-Mar-16 17:50:12

His boyfriend is at university about 50miles away.

How would you deal with this news?

OurBlanche Fri 25-Mar-16 17:52:01

With a smile, a request to look at some pictures, how did you meet? what course is he doing............

ijustwannadance Fri 25-Mar-16 17:52:23

I don't understand your issue.

Dumbledoresgirl Fri 25-Mar-16 17:52:53

I would ask him how he met him, what he was like, and ask if my son was able to travel to see him or if he would like to invite him to our house.

I am not sure what you are getting at tbh. Did you not know that your son was gay beforehand?

TippyTappyLappyToppy Fri 25-Mar-16 17:54:51

He is over 16 so legally it really doesn't matter whether his bf is 19 or 49. But I know which one would worry me more. What is your issue?

whattheseithakasmean Fri 25-Mar-16 17:56:38

Sounds normal & healthy to me - why do you ask?

Pinkheart5915 Fri 25-Mar-16 17:59:17

How lovely your son at 17 talks to you

Ask him for pics of his boyfriend
Ask him how they meet etc
Invite the boyfriend over fo dinner?

WaitrosePigeon Fri 25-Mar-16 18:00:09

Erm, be happy for him?

DioneTheDiabolist Fri 25-Mar-16 18:02:24

I would ask for more details: how long they've been together, where they met, what he's like/studying etc.

UptownFunk00 Fri 25-Mar-16 18:04:30

I'd say how lovely what course is he doing/what's he into?

If they were together a few months I'd maybe as when we were going to get to meet him if it was serious.

If you're worried about the age difference aka he'll have had more boyfriends and/or girlfriends in the past I wouldn't worry it's only 2 years difference. smile

ByThePrickingOfMyThumbs Fri 25-Mar-16 18:04:35

What's worrying you OP? The fact he has a boyfriend or the fact his boyfriend is 2 years older? Neither should be an issue IMO.

PacificDogwod Fri 25-Mar-16 18:05:05

What news: that your DS is gay, that he has a new boyfriend or that the boyfriend is 50miles away? confused

Savagebeauty Fri 25-Mar-16 18:05:12

I'd be delighted

AStreetcarNamedBob Fri 25-Mar-16 18:05:38

A two year age gap is NOTHING at this age. At 12 & 14 maybe but not 17 & 19

PacificDogwod Fri 25-Mar-16 18:06:35

Oh, is it the age gap??

Elaborate a little, law, could your?

AyeAmarok Fri 25-Mar-16 18:08:42

What is the bit of this situation you are struggling to deal with?

lawlawlaw Fri 25-Mar-16 18:15:41

I'm in two minds, one that the age gap is a bit big I thought for this age.
The fact that he is at school and the other at uni.

ClaudiaWankleman Fri 25-Mar-16 18:17:19

Just saying it, because it still seems to be a myth among many. I'm not accusing you OP of anything.

The age of consent is 16 for gay men too. So their relationship isn't an issue in this respect.

fieldfare Fri 25-Mar-16 18:18:25

That's not a big gap at all, at 17 I was dating a 28yr old man!

I'd be supportive and asking all of the questions mentioned.

MrsJayy Fri 25-Mar-16 18:21:03

DDS boy friend is 2 years older than her he had left school before they started going out she was 17 he was 19 she was still at school its not a huge gap I know your son's boyfriend is at uni but your son is 17 not a little boy

PacificDogwod Fri 25-Mar-16 18:21:46

Tbh the age gap did not really register with me - they are not v far apart in age, although, yes, in life they are.

How did they meet?
Is your DS out about his sexuality?

usual Fri 25-Mar-16 18:23:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ijustwannadance Fri 25-Mar-16 18:23:12

Depends on how emotionally mature your son is, but 2 year gap at that age seems completely normal to me.

Is your son going to uni this sept?

mrschatty Fri 25-Mar-16 18:23:15

Law when I was 17 my bf (now dh) was 22!! 17 and 19 is a very small age gap IMHO. As long as he's happy!!

Dumbledoresgirl Fri 25-Mar-16 18:23:38

My main question, as I said before, would be to wonder how they met given, as you say, that one is at school and the other at uni. Is the boyfriend's home local to you? Maybe they met at a party. I have an 18 yo son (and a 19 yo one but he is very antisocial) and I know my 18 yo often meets and befriends people from other schools. I guess they could equally easily be uni students.

I don't think the age gap, as such, is big, but yes, it does beg the question how they met. But only as a point of interest, not as a concern.

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