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Should a 13 year old girl be allowed to read 50 Shades of Grey?

(77 Posts)
Midwife99 Sat 14-Jul-12 13:17:02

My cousin has asked me to post a discussion in her behalf. She has 13 year old twin girls. One of them is very precocious & challenging in general & the latest source of conflict is that she wants to read my cousin's copy of 50 Shades & when my cousin said no & she has gone mental & says she is treated like a 2 year old & she will get it from somewhere else. I agree with my cousin that a 13 year old shouldn't be brainwashed into thinking sexual domination & controlling in relationships is ok & that in the end the "gorgeous billionaire" will marry you (after whipping you of course!) I think a 13 year should be reading about much positive female role models. What do you think?

Subarashii Sat 14-Jul-12 13:19:16

I think if you want to read something like that at 13, you go and buy/borrow/loan out your own illicit copy and read it on the quiet. You don't ask to borrow your bloody mum's bloody copy! Eugh.

HecateHarshPants Sat 14-Jul-12 13:19:23

should a 13 yr old girl be allowed to read porn is basically the question.



your cousin is right. porn is not appropriate reading for a 13 yr old child.

LoveAndOtherIndoorSports Sat 14-Jul-12 13:21:26

She'd be bored by page 47. Its no worse shite than twilight shite.

As with any 13 yr old if you say no (to anything) they will only nag and strop. And make your life difficult. So much easier to remove the taboo.

tryingtoleave Sat 14-Jul-12 13:21:34

Agree with subarashii.

cybbo Sat 14-Jul-12 13:26:49

No! And it isn't like twilight, which is all very chaste

This is proper descriptions of everything

My 16 year old read it, and I was shock when I saw what it was like

cybbo Sat 14-Jul-12 13:27:37

She should read it aloud to her! Daughter would run a mile

I read worse at that age (and passed it around the classroom) but I would never have expected to actually have been allowed to read it, so, no I wouldn't be complicit in allowing a 13 yo to read badly written porn. DS1 read the Twilight books at that age and that took a bit of soul searching before I agreed with it (my SIL bought them for him, I have no idea why. Very odd choice as far as I was concerned)

TouTou Sat 14-Jul-12 13:31:17


The writing is friggin' awful and it may damage her ability to discern good writing from gut wrenchingly awful writing.

Sposh Sat 14-Jul-12 13:32:36

I haven't read Fifty Shades of utter drivel (so I'm told) but I used to have some very well thumbed copies of Jackie Collins novels when I was about that age. I used to sneak looks at my parents copy of The Joy of Sex on a regular basis too.

A world of no. Twilight was misogynistic shite, but at least it was clean. Fifty Shades of Grey gives not only an appalling message on how to be treated by men, but it's also badly written and tedious.

I would NOT have wanted my girls to have read that at 13, and it's not even the dreadful sex, it's the whole 'be dominated by a man' message.

There are plenty of 'rude' bits in other books for teens to pass around their friends (I used to like James Hebert at that age!!)

Midwife99 Sat 14-Jul-12 13:42:04

That's the dilemma! Say no she wants it more! I agree that the official parent line should be no way. Obviously she will then sneak off & read it anyway! And yes the writing is diabolical!!

Fayrazzled Sat 14-Jul-12 13:44:09

I feel quite conflicted on the subject of 50 Shades. On the one hand, I disapprove of censorship and support freedom of speech etc. But, I am really concerned at the alarming rate at which pornography,and more extreme pornography, is becoming mainstream in our culture. It really concerns me that teenagers and even children are accessing all kinds of pornographic material and will believe that what it represents is normal sexual relationships. (And yes, I realise BDSM is normal for some couples and I have no issue with what consenting adults get up to in the bedroom). But it concerns me greatly that teenage girls (and boys) might feel under pressure to consent to such sexual activity and perceive it to be the norm.

So, to answer the question, I wouldn't let my 13 year old read 50 Shades, willingly, no. But then I wouldn't have a copy in the house, either. I wouldn't be happy for a 16 year old to read it either, but if she did, I might well use it as a springboard for a discussion of its inappropriateness.

TodaysAGoodDay Sat 14-Jul-12 13:44:59


Fayrazzled Sat 14-Jul-12 13:45:40

And crikey, it makes the Judy Bloom books we were passing round at 13 look very very tame indeed.

TouTou Sat 14-Jul-12 13:50:42

YY Fayrazzled.
She will be curious and we passed around Judy Blume and Lace as young teens.

Get her Forever, Are You there god, it's me, margaret, Lace, or 'gentle' curiousity quenching books and maybe she might not sneak looking at 50 shades. I really, really feel like it's too much for age 13 - and I write erotic fiction for women so have no problems with it usually!

SuzySheepSmellsNice Sat 14-Jul-12 13:52:27

Judy Bloom 'Forever'... Makes me laugh when I see the name Ralph! smile The miserable old cow of a librarian wouldn't let me take the book out, so I went straight into town and bought it from WHSmith!

TouTou Sat 14-Jul-12 13:54:05

Ralph grin.

And I used to always wonder why she would comment that 'Ralph had come'. I could work that out, wasn't he always there?
<Sighs at how naive I was and how little I would have understood about 50 shades>

The fish scene in Lace was the one that made us all go cross eyed.

Romilly70 Sat 14-Jul-12 14:06:50

Well it would be easy enough for the 13 year old to get hold of it, i'm sure.
If i were her mother; I would take the line, "read it if you want, it is unrealistic, misogynistic and badly written.

(By not making it forbidden fruit, she may not even bother, or even get bored with it as it is so dull, I ploughed my way through

If she does decide to read it, say you would like to have a discussion about the way the girl has been groomed / dominated by an emotionally controlling man, because that for me would is the more disturbing issue .

shockers Sat 14-Jul-12 14:08:57

Good post Romilly.

CurrySpice Sat 14-Jul-12 14:13:42

No. In a word.

monstermissy Sat 14-Jul-12 14:17:17

Buy her Forever by Judy Blume, let her read all about 'Ralph' (i think it ralph that he named his penis) lol much more age appropriate

monstermissy Sat 14-Jul-12 14:18:13

ok i should of read the thread first. A third vote for forever smile

PedanticPanda Sat 14-Jul-12 14:49:49

Would you be ok OP with your 13 year old neice reading about anal fisting?

Midwife99 Sat 14-Jul-12 14:51:23

Absolutely not which is why I told my cousin to say no but she is interested in other people's opinions too.

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