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Help help. My dress is confusing, my shoes have labels, and I'm not sure if it would be wise to eat a sandwich.

(21 Posts)
HuffwardlyRudge Thu 04-Jun-09 12:04:45

Okay, the sandwich thing isn't strictly style and beauty, but you stylish, beautiful people are so wise I thought I'd ask that too.

1. My confusing dress.
It is a tie-around dress. So, I put it on like a cardigan, behind me, and then I have to wrap the string bits around and tie them. There is a hole on my left side to poke the right thread through BUT there is also a belt loop inside the dress on my right side. What do I poke through that? And does that belt loop hold the secret of stopping my tits tumbling out of the dress?

2. New shoes. I have taken off the white labels. Do I also have to take off the seethrough labels with gold writing saying things like 'made in Italy'? It makes a very slightly lighter shade on the sole of the sho where I peel off a label.

3. I have been dieting like crazy. I've not had a drink for weeks. If I go out tonight and have a couple of glasses of wine I will get ratarsed, so I ought to eat something before I go, but then I'll have a fat tummy! What to eat so as to line but not bloat my belly? (We are actually going to a restaurant - shall I just drink fizzy water pre food?

First night out in 2 years. Yeek.

SheherazadetheGoat Thu 04-Jun-09 12:08:38

ignore the loop - wear a bra! or a vest
do what you want with the labels once you have worn them a few times it won't matter
eat a high protein pita bread sandwich.

breath - in then out

HuffwardlyRudge Thu 04-Jun-09 12:10:50

So why is it there other than to confuse and alarm me??!

I have a bra. I had to go out specially to buy an underwired bra! I've not been so well supported for years. Maybe I'll put a safety pin at the neck of the dress.

Hummous in pita. Got it.

SheherazadetheGoat Thu 04-Jun-09 12:19:14

you could buy tit tape. not that i know anything about it.

HuffwardlyRudge Thu 04-Jun-09 12:29:50

I considered that. There's probably some double sided tape in the children's craft box.

BitOfFun Thu 04-Jun-09 12:34:35

Avoid fizzy water too if you don't want to bloat...

Well done you though! (I need to stop drinking, I've turned into aa right fatty)

SheherazadetheGoat Thu 04-Jun-09 12:36:19

DO NOT go near the craft box, you will be glittered and everyone will think you have a glittery bosom to attract attention adn then they will notice the tit tape and half your pita sandwhich you forgot to extract.

themoon66 Thu 04-Jun-09 12:39:33

No hummous.. you will reek of garlic!

HuffwardlyRudge Thu 04-Jun-09 13:56:21

<hides hummous sandwich>

Right. No hummous. Got it.

And no sparkly boobs.

I just painted my nails. Then I changed a nappy. Then I removed my smudged varnish. hmm

midnightexpress Thu 04-Jun-09 13:58:49

You must calm down. It isn't even 2pm yet. You'll peak too soon.

HuffwardlyRudge Thu 04-Jun-09 14:00:06

No it's 5.00!! I'm 3 hours ahead of you. I have entered the legitimate panic zone.

midnightexpress Thu 04-Jun-09 14:01:04

Right.

Waaaaaaaaargh! When does the babysitter arrive?

MadreInglese Thu 04-Jun-09 14:02:44

1. you have your dress on inside out

2. take all labels off from under the shoe or you will look silly

3. yes you will be ratarsed, eat non-stodgy foods for no bloating and alternate your drinks with water, and/or drink spritzers

and 4. have a fab time!

Fimbo Thu 04-Jun-09 14:03:56

Is there a button on the left side, which hooks to the right handed loop?

Yes take all stickers off shoes

Have a bowl of soup and bread.

Enjoy!

HuffwardlyRudge Thu 04-Jun-09 14:04:41

Dh is baby sitter (girls night out) and he gets home at 6. Taxi picking me up at 7.30.

I have to feed 2 children, and make sure ds is tired, full of milk (must make sure boobs are not left uneven) and asleep.

Gahh. He fell asleep 10 minutes ago. Might go and wake him up.

He will ONLY feed to sleep, and has a habit of waking up in the evenings, which is why I've not been out for 2 years. Dh says if he wakes up they will sit on the sofa eating yogurt and watching Top Gear.

HuffwardlyRudge Thu 04-Jun-09 14:05:55

Oh, and I can't get ratarsed because we're going on a BOAT. In my new heels. I haven't worn heels for years either.

Oh I don't know if I'm more excited or terrified.

HuffwardlyRudge Thu 04-Jun-09 14:06:23

Shall I wake ds up, or paint my nails?

HuffwardlyRudge Thu 04-Jun-09 14:07:09

Good thinking Fimbo. I'll go and look for a button.

fishie Thu 04-Jun-09 15:22:45

it doesn't matter if ds eats yog and watches top gear. not your problem.

nails then wake.

moondog Thu 04-Jun-09 15:24:09

Porridge
Or soup and Dr Karg crackers

HuffwardlyRudge Thu 04-Jun-09 15:30:36

Right. Kids fed and in bath.
All labels off shoes, dress, bra etc.

Toenails painted.

Finished a couple of spoons of the kids pasta so stomach not empty.

Hair a lost cause. Up or down? Both unimpressive.

Going to lay everything out, feed ds to sleep then slap on slap and I'm good to go!

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