I have two children, my partner has one. Her child has Autism and attachment issues, but has also been treated like a baby for most of his life. As I’m not that kind of parent, he refuses to bond with me at all. I physically cannot carry him, and refuse to baby him because that brings out similar traits in my own daughter, so we are at a stalemate. My partner has toned her side of this down but his other Mum has made it very clear she has every intention of allowing him to continue this way because he’s her only one. My partner still allows toddler bad behaviour that I don’t agree with too and then I am left to deal with the consequences. I can tell them til I’m blue in the face that these behaviours are normal toddler behaviour that needs dealt with, but they make allowances for him because of his Autism and this leads to dangerous situations, my daughter feeling ignored (because he needs 100% of my attention) and my frustration.
Due to child care arrangements he is now in my care more than anybody else’s and if I’m totally honest, I hate it. I loved staying home with my own children, but this is exhausting and rewardless because there are no breaks, no fun and no affection, no matter how hard I try. I feel like I’m just doing what I can to keep him alive, on very little sleep because he gets up at 4am.
I tried explaining this to my partner that I find it hard and that my efforts feel unappreciated by her and her ex wife, but she tells me that this is my job as his parent but as we aren’t married, I have no rights to him whatsoever, I’m not sure that I am his parent. He certainly doesn’t appear to see my that way and if he had been mine, I wouldn’t raise him this way. I feel like my own children are suffering and so is my relationship but I don’t know how to improve things 😔
Does anyone else have issues with bonding? Has anything improved the situation?
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Step-parenting
Can’t bond w. Step son
26 replies
MsGrey14 · 28/05/2019 11:23
OP posts:
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