Hi, I’ve been married six years. My stepdaughter used to come over every other weekend. My husband moved into my flat and I made my SD really welcome with her own bedroom we decorated together etc etc
Everything was fine up until our son was born and there needed to be boundaries eg that she couldn’t carry him around the house when he was a few weeks old etc, that she couldn’t play alone with him when he was tiny etc etc. When I told her these things (nicely I have to add) she would go home and tell her mum her version of events so that my husband got a call basically saying that I was victimising my SD and that I quote “my SD is a free spirit and should be able to do what she wants”- genuine comment. She was nine almost ten years old.
Anyway this caused a lot of tension in our house as every time she would come over my husband would allow her to do what she wanted whereas I’d say if there was any ignoring of me or anything I thought wasn’t kind etc
So gradually over time it escalated until a few months ago my husband has said it’s his fault and that he should have given her boundaries... it is nothing I’ve done.
She cane over last week for the first time in months to tell me she hates me and I’ve ruined her relationship with her Dad. My husband calls her twice a week, invites her to do nice things but she hangs up or doesn’t respond to texts etc.
My husband feels miserable all the time and I can’t help but feel that my SD refusing to communicate with her Dad and come and spend time with us must be my fault. I think his family think that too.
Any advice? Thank you xx
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My 14 year old SD refuses to visit us anymore and ignores my husbands calls and texts. She told me I’ve “ruined her relationship with her Dad, she hates me and I’m a childish horrible person” Help!
31 replies
Londonsally · 04/11/2018 00:40
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