First of all, I would like to say I’m not new to the step parenting scene. I’m not so young so have been through this twice already one in my 30s and another one in my early 40s.
First time, exp1 and I had very similar parenting styles, we progressed into family weekends quite easily, I adored his children and I know well he cared for mine deeply. It is years since we ended, the things I missed the most were his kids. Kids and I still make a big fuss of each other when we meet.
Second time around was completely different, exp2 was absolutely terrified of upsetting his kid. It wasn’t that the kid disliked us, far from it but by the time the relationship ended 4 years later, our weekends with his 8 year old kid resembled a never endless game of “Simon says” where we all did exactly as the kid demanded to avoid explosive tantrums that ocurred between 6-8 times a day. No turn taking between the kids, his always came first and the implicit rule was, whatever he wants, you and your child do.
I ended the relationship because I was tired of walking on eggshells all the fucking time, without exp2 doing nothing to improve the behaviour other than giving him whatever he was having the tantrum about.
It has been 5 years since then and I have been seeing this new guy for six months. It is going well, I really like him and enjoy his company very much, he feels the same so we got to the point of introducing our kids...
I didn’t realise how traumatised I was left from my previous step parenting experience... He invited my son and I for dinner at his house. I drove 17 miles to his house just to be told to turn around and go back home a couple of blocks away as his child had been having a mega tantrum during the day.
Nothing personal... he didn’t know who I was, and I have heard of at least another occasion when a day long tantrum prevented my boyfriend meeting with his friends who incidentally were also driving a good distance to see him.
Shall I run? Mind you, I love the dad but I find the idea of another 4 years walking on egg shells very draining and I have not even meet the kid.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.
Step-parenting
Shall I try again or just run away while I can?
30 replies
NotSureThisIsWhatIWant · 14/10/2018 14:31
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.