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Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

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Connect with other Mumsnetters here for step-parenting advice and support.

Step-parenting

Why does he do this???

47 replies

Rubysmom13 · 15/04/2018 07:21

I cant find my original post, im new to this, thanks.
I have a very very dangerously smart 6 year old stepson. He comes out of his room a few times a day and comes to us and asks if we just called him.. when we reply no, he keeps saying it must be his imagination. I dont think this is normal or healthy.. now for the 2nd week running when he has just about finished his lunch, he will start choking, vomit some up and say he thinks something is stuck in his throat.. im not used to this behaviour.. i have a 21, 18, 14 year old and now 6 month old and never ever have they done this.. what do i do?

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Bumblefuddle · 15/04/2018 07:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hassled · 15/04/2018 07:29

It sounds to me that he just wants some attention - he knows you didn't call him, but he wishes you had. And the choking - that's "make a fuss of me". Does he get enough attention, do you think? Any one-to-one time with his father?

BillywilliamV · 15/04/2018 07:37

6 is too young for his own phone

MeanTangerine · 15/04/2018 07:47

Poor kid wants some attention, which is entirely normal, given that his parents have split and he now has a baby half-sibling. This is a huge amount for him to dream with at such a young age. Do your best (and make sure his dad is doing his best) to make him feel loved and wanted and included in the new family unit.

MeanTangerine · 15/04/2018 07:47

Deal with, not dream with

Bumblefuddle · 15/04/2018 07:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MeanTangerine · 15/04/2018 07:50

I'm guessing that every time he asks "Did you call me?" he's hoping the answer will be "yes". So when he does that find something he needs to help you with or something to show him or something to talk about. Or give him a hug.

GreatThingsWork · 15/04/2018 07:50

BillywilliamV is confused over the terms call and ring. OP said she called him and it was assumed she meant she rang him.

GreatThingsWork · 15/04/2018 07:50

BillywilliamV is confused over the terms call and ring. OP said she called him and it was assumed she meant she rang him.

Arapaima · 15/04/2018 07:52

I agree, he is crying out for attention here. Is the coming out of his room thing at night? If it's during the day, why is he alone in his room for long periods of time? My DC would generally have wanted to be wherever I was at that age!

SoupDragon · 15/04/2018 07:53

He comes out of his room a few times a day....

Why is a 6 year old in his room? Is no one playing with him?

SoupDragon · 15/04/2018 07:56

I agree, the poor boy wants attention.

I have no idea what “dangerously smart” meant but it sounds as if you don’t like him very much.

BlueUggs · 15/04/2018 07:59

"He come out of his room a few times a day"??? Why is he in his room and not with you?

whiteroseredrose · 15/04/2018 08:12

What blue uggs said.

feathermucker · 15/04/2018 08:13

Is he in is room all the time? Does he live with you?

missbonita · 15/04/2018 08:15

Why is he in his room on his own so much? Isn’t he just lonely. Why do you say he is ‘dangerously smart’ - I work with gifted kids and they aren’t dangerous, just kids.

LML83 · 15/04/2018 08:19

I agree he is looking for attention. My DD feels like something is stuck in her throat when she is anxious. (doesn't vomit though).

Next time he comes out his room say and asks say 'no I didn't, but glad you came out as there is a game/tv show I though we could play/watch or come and see what baby is doing'

It is unusual for him to spend a lot of time in his room at that age. Might be lonely.

Spookle · 15/04/2018 08:28

He comes out of his room a few times a day

So he is in his room all day alone??

screamingeels · 15/04/2018 08:31

also intrigued by the coming out of his room.. what is he doing, what are the rest of you doing?

Theducksarenotmyfriends · 15/04/2018 08:33

I did the same thing as a kid, thought I could hear people in the house calling my name when they weren't. I genuinely thought I could hear them! It was a pretty busy house though so maybe it was just the noise? I turned out completely normal btw!

Mookie81 · 15/04/2018 08:37

He needs attention.

Tiggerzz · 15/04/2018 08:39

Maybe it's wishful thinking! Why don't you try actually calling him and seeing what he does. Maybe he'd like to join in with whatever it is you're doing but is too shy to ask.

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skippykips · 15/04/2018 08:53

What @SoupDragon said.
Even at 10, my very mature DD (acts about 13/14) is told although she likes her own space it is important for us all that we have some time each day as a family.
A 6 year old in his room all day coming out a few times hoping he has been called is really quite sad, although he may appear happy playing, he must feel lonely when he is coming out.
Maybe this morning set up a games morning, just for him. Get a board game he likes out, play doh, paint - whatever he enjoys. Turn all phones on silent and put in another room. Then ask him 'DSS we hate you going upstairs all day, could you please play with us'
I am sure he will be overjoyed.

LuluBellaBlue · 15/04/2018 08:56

You are in massive fear of him it seems.... please focus on sending him lots of love and heal those wounds. Blessings and peace to you both

lunar1 · 15/04/2018 11:26

Why is he spending so much time in his room? Does his dad not do anything with him?

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