I need help with my step sons (13&10). My husband and I are struggling with communication with them, like unless they are asking for food or drink that just don't speak! Instead they ignore us and just watch tv or play video games.
It's at the point where we dread them coming round for the weekend and we'll spend most our day in the kitchen talking and looking after our 2yo son instead of being in the front room with them because it's too frustrating being ignored.
I get texts every week from there mum saying everything they won't tell us. The last text I got was "he doesn't like your tuna pasta bake" ... After the 6th time I had made it for him! Apparently he's gone home starving each time because he didn't want to eat it or tell me he didn't like it and my husbands annoyed that he hasn't said anything to us and that his excuse for not eating is that he's full when clearly that was a lie and when asked about it just said "no I did like it there was just loads on the plate" so he's lying again. And I'm getting sick to death of all these texts telling me what I'm doing wrong, when in fact I can't do any more because I'm not being told if someone doesn't like a meal or they want to go out for the day.
If they don't talk to us how can we know if something's wrong, my husband works all hours of the week and I work early shifts on weekend so we are knackered on the weekends anyway and I have no desire to cook food that may or may not get eaten or sit and try to force a conversation out of a child that doesn't want to talk to me, but then I have to get subjected to texts from their mum that have, in the past, left me in tears thinking they don't like me or I'm a horrible person for making them eat food they hate or not taking them to the park (because I was never asked).
What can my husband and I do/say to get them to open up and talk to us? Even if it's just about there school day, we don't much care what they want to talk about so long as they are willing to speak to us about it. After having asked their mum why they tell her and not us their issues she just said they have always been so open with her (kick in the gut or what?) so that doesn't help us, their dad has always tried to be there for them, however recently since they have closed off he can no longer be bothered to make an effort and I can see it hurts him that the boys who only a few months ago used to ask him to join in with games now don't seem to want to be with him at weekends.
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Step-parenting
Why don't the kids talk to us!?
50 replies
KH369 · 16/08/2017 15:31
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