Dsd2 is 15 and currently undecided about higher education, although seems very keen on child development so thinks she may like to go into nursing - specifically paediatrics.
Dh stops paying maintenance for dsd1 in August and her mum has said she won't be seeking further financial help for her as she's been nc for 4 years with no intention of being part of our lives. However she's said she will expect dh to provide financial support for dsd2 if she decides to go into higher education. Dh would like arrangements to be made directly with dsd2 at that time as she's effectively an adult. Although we hate the idea of young people starting their lives with debts, we couldn't afford to shoulder a tuition fees loan on her behalf (which we suspect her mum may expect) for god knows how many years and think that when they reach adulthood they should take some financial reaponsibility themselves. However, we think it would be fair to help with maintenance costs - accommodation, food etc. We'd never see her struggle, but think our arrangements should be with her. There is no animosity with her mum, I think dh just wants to put a bit of distance between them as dsd becomes an adult.
What have others done? Have you continued to pay the same amount of maintenance? Who is it paid to? How much can/ do you help? Is it accepted that the child pays the tuition fee while parents help with the costs of living?
When I went to uni, i worked during my hols and got a small top up loan for the rest. Of course I didn't have tuition fees to worry about, but i don't recall getting financial support from my parents (because they couldn't afford it!) I recognise times have changed and if she chooses paediatric nursing then it's not like she'll be earning a fortune to aid loan repayment. I think it would be a great career choice for her and would like to offer as much support as we can without making ourselves struggle financially (we have a 4yo ds too). When dh finishes paying maintenance for dsd1 in August his payments for dsd2 will be £220. He's said that the money he saves (around £50) will be paid to dsd2 as an allowance.
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46 replies
LittleLionMansMummy · 14/07/2015 08:49
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