A quick wwyd about birthday cards, views appreciated

[Fairy130389]

Dsd lives with dh and I. Relationship with dsd mum has been tempestuous to say the least. Since I have had my baby things have been friendlier an I'm trying really hard to get things back into nicer territory. It is mums birthday next week. Usually I just get a card and pressie from dsd, but this year I have also to card and small token gift from us. I may be over thinking, but how should I sign card? Do I include dsd in card as I would with DS? Feels weird not to as she is very much part of our family... But would she feel like that was a slap in the face?? Or do I jus sign it from dh, me and ds... It is a very fine titrope! Thanks

[Fairy130389]

Lol at 'titrope' childish obviously it is a TIGHTROPE.

[SoupDragon]

If DSD has her own card for her mother, what is the problem with her not signing the one from you?

[teaandbourbons]

I would sign from you, DH and baby. Presumably dsd will give her mum her own card? You could help her make one just from her?

[Fairy130389]

Yes she does also have her own card obviously. I suppose there is no problem with not signing her name in it, other than dsd might feel like she's being left out,I suppose... She is, like any 8 year old I guess in that she likes to take the lead in writing out cards etc and I'm not sure whether she would understand why sh couldn't put her name on that one when every card for anybody has her name included? To clarify, she lives here fll time, is rarely at mums,it would be like leaving a biological dc out of a card signing? Am I over thinking it?

[Chesterado]

Avoid names and write "Love from us all" or similar?

[SoupDragon]

I think you're over thinking it. She won't be left out, she'll have written her own card.

[MollyBerry]

I'd go with what Chesterado suggsted just in case

[LittleFrieda]

You should send it from the adults in your house only, it would be inflammatory to include her child or your new baby. As everyone else says, help your DSD buy or make a card for her mother and sign it herself.

And certainly not "love from us all", sounds much too much of a cosy unit that excludes her. It would defeat the purpose of sending a card in the first place.

Wishing you a happy birthday
Love from
Ron and Jane

[purpleroses]

I would just sign it from you, DH, but put it in the same envelope as the one from DSD so it's clear why she's not on the one from you.

Agree with LittleFrieda that "love from us all" sounds like you're a nice cosy unit that she's not part of.

[Fairy130389]

i think i will put it from dh and i, thanks. What a constant political minefield we all live in eh!

[LJL69]

My DH ex wife has been great with our DD. Waited to find out the gender before rushing DC out to buy cards with girl on/gender specific present. Will not hear of DD refered to as anything other than sister/gave her Christmas gift/birthday gift etc. On one occasion when ALL kids had been ill she had bought my DSK a cuddly toy and when found out DD had had the bug too also got her one. In our situation I have done birthday card just from my DD to her. She has not always been so great with DP and me but is very conscious of DD having nothing to do with any issues. I know I am lucky. If it has been equally nice in your situation then from your DC if not then just from you and DH.
I think by doing card and the like you are doing the best thing for all kids involved. Good effort x