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Where are all the parents??

(54 Posts)
2shoes Wed 23-Jul-08 15:31:57

so another end of term celebration. again the faithfull few are ther.
where are the others?
they never seem to turn up.
for example a couple of dc's spend nearly all their time at school. they have familys but you wouldn't know it.
have we gone back in time. do people now just dump their sn dc's in "institutions" and run?
surely they could spare the time.
even a busy businessman dad managed it.

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Wed 23-Jul-08 15:38:49

IN ds1's school many parents are either single parents or without transport so it's hard for them to either take the time off work (sole earner- and sometimes it's easier for the more senior businessman to sneak off for a few hours) or to actually get to the school.

2shoes Wed 23-Jul-08 15:46:33

no the ones I am thinking of are not single parents, or lacking in money or cars.

Seuss Wed 23-Jul-08 17:11:58

It's the same with everything Sn & Mainstream schools - always the same people doing the fetes, the trips etc. It is true that some folk just can't afford time off work/don't have transport but I also know a few people that give up any precious free time and spend a fortune on taxis/ride their bikes miles to do these things whilst I know a lot of others that don't. I've noticed that strangely when it's something like sportsday where they can just turn up and watch an awful lot more people managed to make time. Again, not getting at people who genuinely can't help but I do think that if everyone did a little it would take the pressure off the ones that always seem to do everything.

NineYearsOfNappies Wed 23-Jul-08 19:24:51

I missed dd's assembly as my other dd was sick.

Some parents are working, not easy to get time off especially just before 6 weeks (or longer) of school holidays.

I have also skipped them sometimes simply because it is the only afternoon I will have to myself for the next two months. What's more important? Sleep, or watching dd being pushed around the stage whilst fast asleep and fitting dressed up in clothes she hasn't chosen whilst other people manipulate her arms and legs to pretend she's joining in nicely as they all go on an imaginary trip to Finland (or whatever the next theme is)?

I do go to the vast majority of them but it is very difficult. Apart from anything else, dd's school is mostly SLD with a handful of PMLD kids scattered about. Whole school end of term things are a reality slap - 6 PMLD kids in the nursery, 4 in the primary, 2 in the secondary and a bunch of obituaries. I don't need reminding that her life is going to be short.

Then there's the clash - you've got kids in special school and kids in mainstream and they've both got end of term things going on, whose do you miss?

jimjamshaslefttheyurt Wed 23-Jul-08 20:24:45

I know some parents have to hide from their children as well as parents DO NOT belong to school. School is school and home is home and if the two mix there's fireworks. It's simply not allowed in the child's world.

I like to go to the school stuff if I can (and so far it hasn't clashed with ds2 and ds3's stuff) but I can't really help out with fairs as they're always on a Saturday. One person needs to take ds1 and one person needs to take ds2 to Stagecoach and look after ds3. So there aren't enough people to go round.

I can never help out at ds2 and ds3's after school fairs either as I have to look after ds1.

sarah293 Wed 23-Jul-08 20:30:01

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sarah293 Wed 23-Jul-08 20:31:35

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sarah293 Wed 23-Jul-08 20:32:17

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FioFio Wed 23-Jul-08 20:57:59

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Seuss Wed 23-Jul-08 21:55:27

I think I came accross as a bit ranty before - obviously it is impossible to do everything especially when there is so much going on at end of term and you have to juggle different schools and all that other pain-in-the-arse stuff.

Just ignore me I went into bitcy cow mode earlier - too many concerts and sportsdays!

r3dh3d Wed 23-Jul-08 22:05:16

Well, I'm one of those slackers who didn't make it to Sports day. I was picking DD2 up from her grandparents (4 hours round trip on Monday morning) because DH was away for the weekend and I couldn't handle both of them on my own. MIL decreed I would come on Monday and I'm so grateful for surviving the weekend that I don't argue.

I didn't make it to the end of term assembly this morning because I frivolously had root canal work instead. Not that DD1 was invited, either - she doesn't do Weds mornings: my thinking is if school can get by without her, they can get by without me too.

chonky Wed 23-Jul-08 22:18:30

Another slacker here. I'm self employed - no work = no pay. I do make it to some events, I just can't be there all the time.

2shoes Wed 23-Jul-08 22:27:05

i posted in a bad moment of sadness. changes are afoot at dd;s school and for some mad reason I don't like to think that it will mean some dc's will now never go home.

interesting to read the replies as gives a different spin on it.
but most of the parents can manage to turn up for the christmas play.
Riven use the motorbility car,

2shoes Wed 23-Jul-08 22:27:56

ih and I never called anyone a slacker. ok.
all in same boat.

Seuss Wed 23-Jul-08 22:30:41

Chonky - It's not being a 'slacker' if you just can't do it - no-one is expecting you to starve for the sake of sportsday.

I do know some people though (and this is more mainstream tbh) who could spare the time but don't - ever.

FioFio Thu 24-Jul-08 08:06:02

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sarah293 Thu 24-Jul-08 08:10:26

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Seuss Thu 24-Jul-08 09:37:41

sad riven - please do not go jumping off any bridges you would be greatly missed on mumsnet.

sarah293 Thu 24-Jul-08 10:45:30

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2shoes Thu 24-Jul-08 10:46:49

I felt really sad one xmas party. there wa boy who is always at reaspite. his dad came with his new son. so he can have another but not have his first one home. now I know there could be a million reason as to why. but it still made me sad.

sarah293 Thu 24-Jul-08 10:55:05

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2shoes Thu 24-Jul-08 14:01:53

not easy to see. I understand. today I had a "what if" moment, dd went in her stander. I haven't seen her stand for ages. god she looked so "normal" and so tall.
sorry your car didn't work out. was it too small?

sarah293 Thu 24-Jul-08 14:48:34

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MannyMoeAndJack Thu 24-Jul-08 18:23:20

I know what you mean about seeing your dc alongside their mainstream peers. The reflex to compare never really abates.

My ds goes to a SN school so I am shielded, for the most part, from seeing him next to mainstream kids. And for that, I am glad.

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