I have two kids, both with SN.
DS 7 has Developmental Coordination Disorder and low muscle tone. He is a funny and loving little boy, with occasional flashes of brilliance. But also very frustrated, angry, violent and unpredictable. He seems to me like a 3 or 4 year old in interests and cognitive ability. He has full time one to one in a mainstream school and gets full DLA. Uses a wheelchair sometimes, sometimes can trip over thin air, sometimes can run a mile. Completely inconsistent. Bites and pinches and hits and kicks other children. Bit his sister this morning so hard he drew blood because she "was too close to him". this is normal.
DD 4 has just been diagnosed with Global Developmental Delay, and I feel she has Sensory Processing Disorder, the seeking stimulation type. She is like a young toddler in a 4 year old's body. No impulse control, constantly mouthing everything, constantly falling into things, smearing everything everywhere. Not potty trained. Breaks and eats and makes messes like a 2 year old. Bites and pinches and hits and kicks other children. In the last week she has poured a pan of hot water over herself, eaten half a packet of neurofen, pulled several of my treasured house plants to bits, ruined all my make up (she can now climb up and get into high shelves and hiding places I thought she couldn't) amongst other normal bumps, falls, breaks and bites. Will not listen, still grabs hot cups of tea at 4, doesn't seem to know/care that they are hot! She can also be so sweet, funny and loving.
Together they are horrendous. It's so stressful, you cannot leave them alone without one attacking the other. Not just constant bickering, but pushing, biting, hitting. Constant screaming.
Both of them need so much supervision, it's like still having toddlers. They won't/can't play independently. Give DD pens/ paint she'll eat them. Give her a book she'll tear it up. DS can't read or write, isn't able to play with lego/jigsaws/ anything fine motor he struggles with. If I try and do an activity with one the other one sabotages it. If I try and involve both they fight. Try and cook with them, they'll spill flour EVERWHERE, burn themselves,
The only thing that will stop them fighting/screaming/ destroying the house is television, which I put on more than I'd like to have any down time. But I feel guilty. So we do go outside a lot. That does calm them down sometimes. But then they won't/can't walk very far, I end up carrying one of them. If DS is in his wheelchair they fight about that. If I have DD in her buggy they fight about that. They constantly fall over and bang into things and scream and hurt themselves.
I feel as if I exist from scream to scream as they attack each other and fall over and destroy the house. It feels like I'm on a boat in a storm all the time.
I hate it I hate it so so much.
I feel so guilty . I feel like it must be my fault , as they are both so difficult
I feel so guilty for hating it so much. I lose my temper and shout at them and I hate myself when i do it.
I feel conflicted. To some they look like normal children. Other parents complain of their children fighting, of being difficult, am I just a crap mum and all this is relatively normal and I just can't cope with it all.
I'm confused. I alternate between thinking it can't be this bad, i'm just making a meal out of it all and then being terrified for their futures and how difficult life is for them .
so stressed, adrenaline all the time. feels like I have a baby and toddler still ALL THE TIME.
any one ????? needed a rant to cyber space.
Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.
SN children
two children with SN - feeling low
deeedeee · 17/04/2016 18:06
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