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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

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Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler.

Sleep

Newborn Sleeping Patterns

28 replies

MollieHodgson · 01/02/2017 18:41

Hi everyone,

I'm a new parent and I have a 6 week old son called Arlo

He is formula fed and he feeds every 4 hours 5 ounces. To be more precise I have got him in a routine and he feeds at 12,4 and 8 everyday.

In the evening I feed him at 8 and then wake him at 12:00pm for his feed recently he has started waking up at 5:30am - 6:30am and then again at 9:30am I'm not sure if I should continue for the rest of the day feeding him 4 hours after to that or still stick to the routine of 12,4 and 8.

Every night time is different and I would like to keep him as close to a routine if possible.

I would love to know what you think as a new Mum I'm unsure x

Thank you xx

OP posts:

Report

MyDSMakeMeGreyButTheyreFab · 01/02/2017 18:48

Baby's routine will change as he grows.

I would advise following the babys lead at such a young age and feed him when he's hungry. Be it every two hours or every six.

Congratulations btw x

MyDSMakeMeGreyButTheyreFab · 01/02/2017 18:49

Oh and I wouldn't wake to feed. He'll let you know when he's hungry.

beargrass · 01/02/2017 19:03

I would keep to a routine. Gradually, the late night/early hours feeds will be the ones you drop. If you do them in the quiet and dark, he will learn the difference between night and day, and will take less at those feeds so you can drop them. I think I started at similar times but then pushed them gradually to 6, 10, 2, 6 and so on. If he's gradually going longer already at night, I would let him but them try to keep roughly to a routine the rest of the day. You might find he's just dropping the 4am feed?

The current advice is that you should just feed when they seem to need it and have no kind of routine. I don't understand this as babies need milk and sleep. Sleep is when they make sense of things and is as important for their development, I think.

People I know who did not follow a routine seem to be the ones with 'bad sleepers'. No routine is a rod for your own back, I think.

I'm sure this will go down badly in some quarters, but if you look up the routines in Gina Ford or similar you'll also see how they change as they develop and get bigger. She's vilified but I don't know why. I also suspect people do follow her 'rules' but don't admit it and/or end up researching them in desperation!

BertrandRussell · 01/02/2017 19:08

I read a book once that said you should think of new babies as a sort of "weather". Just because it rained at 10 yesterday, you wouldn't expect it to rain at 10.00 today. Gradually they start turning into a "climate" so they they can be more predictable. It made sense to me!

HeCantBeSerious · 01/02/2017 19:09

The current advice is that you should just feed when they seem to need it and have no kind of routine. I don't understand this as babies need milk and sleep. Sleep is when they make sense of things and is as important for their development, I think.

People I know who did not follow a routine seem to be the ones with 'bad sleepers'. No routine is a rod for your own back, I think.

They're baby HUMANS, not buses.

OP, your son was premature (yes, even if he was 2 weeks late). All human babies are because they should be inside you for 12 months, not 9. They aren't because in order to be upright we have narrow pelvises that can't birth a 12 month gestation baby.

As a result your baby is in his 4th trimester and requires everything he had in the womb - being cuddled, rocked to sleep, hearing your breathing and heartbeat and being fed on demand.

However inconvenient that is to you, that's the basic biological fact. Expecting him to fit your timetable isn't really going to work.

HeCantBeSerious · 01/02/2017 19:10

She's vilified but I don't know why.

Because she's a massive twat that knows fuck all about babies and encourages often desperate parents to neglect their babies, perhaps?

FATEdestiny · 01/02/2017 19:11

he has started waking up at 5:30am - 6:30am and then again at 9:30am

Are you feeding him at these times?

It doesn't matter if the gap between feeds is less. Indeed reducing the tin e between feeds is a good way to "calorie load" through the daytime, so night feeds aren't needed.

So assuming a 9.30am feed when Arlo wakes, I'd feed next time at 12 then follow your routine from there.

In your position, I would actually move to 3 hourly feeds, to try and stop night wakes. For example 7am 10am 1pm 4pm 7pm (and possibly an 11pm feed as I go to bed, if needed).

MollieHodgson · 01/02/2017 19:14

It's not that feeding him on demand is an inconvenience I am a new parent.

He gets all the love he needs from me and his father I'm just trying to do what is best for him.

I really appreciate the supportive feedback and it has put me more at ease. People parent differently and I'm just trying to have a good routine for my sons benefit not mine.

OP posts:

HeCantBeSerious · 01/02/2017 19:16

*I'm just trying to have a good routine for my sons benefit not mine.
He's telling you pretty clearly that it's not working for him though. ;)

HeCantBeSerious · 01/02/2017 19:16

I would like to keep him as close to a routine if possible.

girlelephant · 01/02/2017 19:17

Modem methods is on demand feeding whether EXB or FF. BF didn't work out for us so my DC is FF and at a few months old can go 2,5 hours between feeds or 4 hours occasionally. At a few weeks old I would wake to feed as too long between feeds is concerning but don't worry about set times. My DC on average went 3 hours between feeds at 5/6 weeks but remember he's eating not just for nutrition, but potentially growth spurts and even comfort

So I recommend following Arlo's lead. If you're worried feeds are very close together i.e. One hour apart (as my DC was at one stage!) feed him slowly with lots of cuddles and burping during the feed

FATEdestiny · 01/02/2017 19:19

It is working for Baby Arlo. He is sleeping a night 6 hour block (12 to 5.30/6.30) at night.

It might be disteastful to you HeCantBeSerious, but many babies (especially formula fed from newborn babies) fall into routine very early. Within a month or three of life - well within the fourth trimester.

MollieHodgson · 01/02/2017 19:29

I have taken him to the health clinic and the midwives and health visitors that come say he is doing great. He is growing well very alert so I must be doing something right. I'm here to comfort him all the time.

OP posts:

ElphabaTheGreen · 01/02/2017 19:32

Current advice is most definitely feed on demand, using paced bottle feeding, from one care-giver only and not feed to a schedule - especially bottle-fed babies so that they mimic breastfeeding as closely as possible. This allows baby to regulate their own appetite and thereby prevent obesity in later life. Based upon this, a routine is not in his best interests I'm afraid. A routine is always only for the parents. Babies have no concept of time or clocks, so routine is a non-concept for them and therefore can't benefit from it.

Routine is a parenting fad that needs to die a death. It only serves to make parents whose babies naturally follow a Gina Ford style routine smug because they think it was all down to their marvellous parenting (it categorically isn't), and parents with perfectly normal GF-routine-averse babies think they're doing something wrong because they can't force their babies into a schedule (they categorically aren't).

The only 'routine' I do follow is sticking to age-appropriate awake times for naps, and putting in a bed-time routine at some point to aid night sleep. But definitely no routine for feeding for such a tiny baby - not based on the advice we currently have.

MollieHodgson · 01/02/2017 19:36

Most newborns who are formula-fed feed every 2 to 3 hours. As they get bigger and their tummies can hold more milk they usually eat every 3 to 4 hours.

Every 1-2 hours
17.09% (23,772 votes)

Every 2-3 hours
43.07% (59,897 votes)

Every 3-4 hours
20.69% (28,775 votes)

On demand
19.15% (26,625 votes)

OP posts:

ElphabaTheGreen · 01/02/2017 19:37

I say that, by the way, to take the pressure off feeling a routine is 'necessary' or 'good' OP. You also subscribe to the idea that routine is good for the baby. Sack that outdated idea and you won't feel nearly so anxious if he doesn't stick to the script.

If it's working, fine, and as long as you're not leaving him upset in order to stick to your routine, fine, but if he digresses, it's totally normal, healthy and a non-issue.

FATEdestiny · 01/02/2017 19:38

MollieHodgson

Do you ever not feed baby, or delay feeding baby, when baby is hungry?

beargrass · 01/02/2017 19:40

PS if you do follow a routine, keep quiet about it in your baby group. You'll be vilified too...well, until everyone is tearing their hair out cos they haven't slept in months, that is...

HeCantBeSerious · 01/02/2017 19:43

Not sure what the point of your last post was OP, or where it's from.

MollieHodgson · 01/02/2017 19:44

No I never delay his feed he will wake up at around 11.50 and I will get his bottle ready and feed him straight away. As soon as he wakes up I change him and feed him and put him back to sleep. I don't feed him 12 on the dot but he normally wakes up around those sort of times 12, 4 and 8, it's just recently he's sleeping a bit longer. But the minute he wakes up I make his bottle and feed him x

OP posts:

MollieHodgson · 01/02/2017 19:46

Hecantbeserious how often does your baby sleep ? And how much sleep do you get? My son is growing perfectly and he is such a content happy baby. He smiles and laughs all day long. He is growing well and gaining weight perfectly.

OP posts:

MyDSMakeMeGreyButTheyreFab · 01/02/2017 19:54

Follow your baby mollie

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HeCantBeSerious · 01/02/2017 20:05

My babies are 8 and 6 now. We've never forced a routine, never woke them for feeds and they sleep brilliantly (albeit as night owls but that suits us all). Very bright and loving children that are thriving.

FATEdestiny · 01/02/2017 20:37

As soon as he wakes up I change him and feed him and put him back to sleep. I don't feed him 12 on the dot but he normally wakes up around those sort of times 12, 4 and 8, it's just recently he's sleeping a bit longer. But the minute he wakes up I make his bottle and feed him

You are feeding on demand them. You're just following baby's lead and that's great.

Baby has clearly just fallen into routine naturally. Some do, it's not a problem.

In terms of your original question, if baby wakes and is fed at 9.30am, I would feed again at 12pm (as per normal routine) if baby was awake at that time, then follow as you normally do.

If baby is asleep, just feed when waking and go from there.

It might be better for you and baby to start regulating "morning time", so set an alarm and get baby up at a regular time, if not already awake. Say 7am. That regulates the 7am feed, which sets up the rest of the day.

The problem many posters on this thread have is that it's rare to have babies this uncomplicated and simple so young. It will be especially alien to breastfeeding parents. But there is nothing wrong with what you are doing, as long as you never leave baby hungry.

I had a baby born routined. A single 1am night feed and 4 hourly daytime feeds from literally Day 1. By 7 weeks old he was feeding 3 hourly (almost exactly) daytime and sleeping solidly 12h at night.

I have 3 other children (younger and older) nowhere near as easy as DC3. But such children are not unusual or uncommon.

they don't half make some parents angry at the idea and convinced you're lying though

BertrandRussell · 01/02/2017 20:58

He smiles and laughs all day long at 6 weeks? Wow-super talented.......

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