DH has gone I feel sick

[Disenchanted3]

Have been fine up till now but feel ill.

Sister is coming to stay with me tonight, my head is banging.

Probably because I know Imean it this time, not permenantly but for a good while.

[LIZS]

what brought that about so suddenly ?

[LuluMaman]

what's happened between when you last posted and now?

take some deep breaths

you both need time

[Disenchanted3]

He will read this I know,

he got pissed off again and we argued but he grabbed my wrist and twisted it whilst I had DS.

Enough is enough,

Idon't want to live like this.

We need to get it sorted once and for all.

[LIZS]

p'ed off about what ?

[Disenchanted3]

just stuff that happens during the day, thats why it cant continue, the arguments arte constant and over nothing at all

[LuluMaman]

if he reads this then hopefully he will understand that this destructive stage of your relationship has to end

that does not mean the relationship itself has to end, but you both need space to get yourselves well

there is no room in a decent relationship for either partner getting physical

[LuluMaman]

but you are both in the house all the time, with 3 small children , no jobs, little money and illness to contend with, no wodner you are both at the end of your tethers

you both need to recuperate and get better and tehn hopfeully your relationship will get better too

[Disenchanted3]

i agree
he knows i love him and i know he loves me but we are at boiling point and need to cool off and get ourselves together

[LIZS]

If nothing else use the space to prove to yourself that you could cope if you have to. Lots of people don't like being alone in the house at night, for example (me included) - but you do get used to it if you have no alternative.

[LuluMaman]

yes, absolutely.and you must promise you will see the doctor on monday

[Disenchanted3]

Yes I think knowing I can do OK alone will do me wonders, he always uses that against me in arguements

[Disenchanted3]

GPs yes, I will

[LuluMaman]

hope things work out and you are feeling stronger and better soon

[Disenchanted3]

cheers lulu, i feel like your my MN psychiarist,lol

[LuluMaman]

us northern girls have to look out for each other you take care and keep posting. chin up, chuck !

[Disenchanted3]

Hehe,

I feel good actually, that sounds awful but like I've made a apositive step, as hard as it was

[LuluMaman]

no, i totally understand

taking control, making a decision and a tough decision at that, is something to feel good about

it is the first step of your journey

if you like reading, i read a lot of Dorothy Rowe books when i was depressed, she writes very movingly and accurately about depression and it really helps to articulate how you are feeling, i can really recommend her writing.

[Disenchanted3]

Cheers. I look her up,

DS1 is looking for him out the window already, told them hed gone shops

Dunno how Im gonna get him to schoolmonday without his dad! Maybe ask DH topick him up?

God this is all so weird

[LuluMaman]

just say daddy is staying with friend/family for a few days as he is poorly and needs quiet time to get better?

better to prepare DS over the weekend than spring it on him on monday

do you not usually take the DCs to school ?

can you go with another friend?

[Disenchanted3]

I usually take DS2 to playgroup, its the totally opposite direction to the school and they need to be there at the same time, so DH takes DS1.

Then I collect DS2 halfday and DS1 in afternoon.

I don't really have anyone else to go with

He'll be OK Ive told him daddys staying at nanas to help her as shes poorly.

[LuluMaman]

would it matter if Ds2 was a few minutes late for playgroup?

[Disenchanted3]

they'd be fine about it, ill explain on monday,

well i got the 3 of them bathed and to bed myself

well not the baby shes on my knee but not as bad as it could've been

[LuluMaman]

well done !

[Disenchanted3]

lol, its pathic to alot of people but tis a big deal for me