Such a long story but I'll try to be brief! My brother is 23, 24 next month. Im married but live about 15mins away from my parents and DB lives with them.
My issue is this: DB has always been 'young' for his age and not very independent- complete opposite to me. He graduated 2 years ago and since then has been working 2 days per week in a shop (not related to his degree or what he wants to do). He did find another job which was related to his degree but again this was only 2 days per week and this job ended badly (basically the employer was not paying him, more of which later).
Since then he has been applying for the odd job here and there but a token effort to appease my Dad rather than actually looking for work. Essentially he is being supported financially by my parents, and my Mum seems quite happy for this to continue. She is very defensive of him if anyone mentions him only working part-tim.In truth i think she enjoys the time they are spending together as they basically spend every day together!
Regards the job which ended badly, he is now taking the employer to a tribunal and I have agreed to represent him as he is not a confident speaker, which i am fine with and I want to support him. But as a result my mum seems to have handed the entire 'baton' of the case over to me, and is expecting me to fill out all the forms, make all the phonecalls, deal with the case completely whilst DB does nothing!
it is really affecting my relationship with both of them in that I love both of them dearly but am starting to feel completely cheesed off and rather 'used' in the sense that all my Mum ever talks about is DB and is really babying him- eg my parents went on holiday for two weeks recently and she insisted that I do all his washing and cook for him or she wouldnt be able to relax on holiday. needless to say my DH was less than impressed.
Goodness me I have ranted on for ages!
If anyone managed to get to the end I would really love some advice, or to know if anyone else has been in a similar situation?
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Relationships
Advice re DB being babied by Mum- affecting my relationship with her
notamumyetbutoneday · 30/06/2009 12:21
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