5 dates with a guy. He's moving away for work. I'm a bit confused.

(45 Posts)
Snailer Tue 27-Oct-20 23:16:49

Hello MN,
Keeping this nutshell size. If I can...
5 dates with a guy (met on tinder) (2 of them virtual but about 3 hours long) - met 6 weeks ago. Both busy with work & child commitments.
There's defo been chemistry when we've met IRL & had a great time & loads of texts telling me he did too.
He got a job which will take him to another part of the country from next week til next Summer (home some weekends)
He has lots to organise & has said a few times he doesn't know how he'll be able to plan everything. I said in a text he might want to take me out of the logistics equation- (tbh I'd be gutted but would get over it as only met 3 times IRL) - he said he has feelings for me & wants to carry on but this was a week ago.
Lots of texts. No suggestion of when we can meet/anything solid just lots of texts saying 'Morning!' And 'sweet dreams' and how was your day...
I've instigated every date so far.
My gut feeling is he's keeping me on the back burner and likes the texts/attention. Never suggests a phone call or anything more.
My gut feeling is usually very accurate.
Is this going anywhere? Any thoughts/advice welcome. Do men ever just enjoy the 'text life'?

OP’s posts: |
HotToCold Tue 27-Oct-20 23:20:19

Move on...

Not worth it

edwinbear Tue 27-Oct-20 23:28:50

Another vote for move on. I’ve had similar, texting is easy, requires no investment of their time and gives them an ego boost. The fact he’s not asked to see you before he leaves is telling.

billy1966 Tue 27-Oct-20 23:29:33

Wasting your time.


Your gut is soundflowers

Snailer Tue 27-Oct-20 23:35:33

@HotToCold @edwinbear @billy1966 thanks.
Needed to read this.
My self confidence is pretty poor at the best of times. Recently boosted lots but the last week I feel like I'm sinking again. Can't be doing with that.

OP’s posts: |
CausingChaos2 Tue 27-Oct-20 23:40:05

Onwards and upwards OP. Drawing a line under this leaves you free to meet a man who can’t get enough of you and shows it.

widespreadpanic Tue 27-Oct-20 23:41:38

Y’all haven’t talked on the phone yet?? Well he’s using you as a time waster til he moves to his new city.


SavageBeauty73 Tue 27-Oct-20 23:42:26

It's called 'breadcrumbing'. He likes the attention. Move on.

Big hugs. I'm online dating too. It's brutal!

burglarbettybaby Tue 27-Oct-20 23:43:28

Leave it. If you have to instigate the dates and he doesn't even bother to phone. Now he's moving. What's the point?

Summerfreeze Tue 27-Oct-20 23:44:42

He's just not that into you.

Sorry, you deserve better. Just move on.

(Wouldn't be surprised if the sudden move was a lie, by the way.)

AngryPumpkin Tue 27-Oct-20 23:46:13


LaVitaPuoEsserePiuBella Tue 27-Oct-20 23:46:57

He's keeping you on the back burner. Please stop messaging him.

Snailer Tue 27-Oct-20 23:58:28

@SavageBeauty73 thanks! - just googled 'breadcrumbing' & that's exactly what it is!
No commitments but some big wordy texts - my gut feeling is that he's enjoying the attention from others too. Dammit. I may never meet a decent man. 🤯

OP’s posts: |
seensome Wed 28-Oct-20 00:01:32

Move on or best case it would be a ldr with a few texts a day and not seeing each other most weeks, I'm sure that's not what you want anyway? Keep him as a contact for when/if he moves back and you're both single.

seensome Wed 28-Oct-20 00:03:41

And yes you're more likely to meet a decent man by the binning flakey ones

DatingDickheads Wed 28-Oct-20 00:53:45

Agree with breadcrumbing!

AdaColeman Wed 28-Oct-20 01:01:17

He’s enjoying having you stroke his ego, there’s nothing in this for you.

MarvinTheSadMartian Wed 28-Oct-20 02:18:56

OP he is playing you. You just met recently. He should be falling over backwards to impress you and be kind and attentive. Honestly, it sounds like a waste of time and like either he has some serious issues or he had a gf or wife already. sad Either way, you are better off out of it!

Georgeoftheinternet Wed 28-Oct-20 03:49:08

I don’t believe the moving away part

Nicolastuffedone Wed 28-Oct-20 06:12:26

I don’t believe the working away story either tbh

AnyFucker Wed 28-Oct-20 06:15:38


Namechangedforthisoct2 Wed 28-Oct-20 06:25:47

Yup I’ve had this too, I’m sure he likes you but his heart isn’t fully in it and just wants the attention and safety that he has someone while he transitions into a new life, if you like you’re his handhold

Wanttobeonabeach Wed 28-Oct-20 07:53:52

When does he leave?

TwentyViginti Wed 28-Oct-20 08:05:33

Married/ego stroke/penpal/whatever - stop wasting your time on him.

ravenmum Wed 28-Oct-20 08:13:02

So within a period of 7 weeks he'll supposedly have gone from looking for a local relationship to having left the area entirely for a year?

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