I am a first time poster, in fact, I've signed up here after a long time lurking because I really could do with advice.
I've been married for 14 years, we have 2 kids, a stable financial life, lovely house, supportive extended families etc etc. It looks perfect from the outside and I thought it was as close to perfect as it could be from the inside but....
I think my DH is having an affair. I'm not normally a checker of his phone but recently he's been taking it everywhere, literally everywhere. He's been distracted and moody and not 'present' which is not like him at all. he has always been an equal partner with children, chores etc but lately he hasn't been 'with us'. I put it down to stress of some recent family events that have been a little tricky. He comes to bed later than me, checks his phone all the time and is drinking more than normal. Yesterday I picked up his phone to check something online as mine was charging and a message popped up from a woman whis name I recognise, it was a photo of her naked. I felt sick, shaky, full of rage. I scrolled up the messages and found literally loads, him, her, messages about what they would like to do to each other. Some of it seemed like innocent chat between friends and then all of a sudden, a sext out of nowhere. And it's been going on for a few years, I think. at least the messages suggest that. I don't think they've actually done anything, met up or it's become physical but I can see that there have been calls and video chats too.
What the actual do I do now? I have been walking around in a daze since seeing them and now I don't know what to do. He'll deny being unfaithful won't he? this is cheating, isn't it? I don't know why I'm asking because I know the grim reality. it's someone he used to know a long time ago, someone he once had feelings for (he's spoken about her to me, how she broke his heart) Is it possible to recover from this and mend it. I would have support irl but I'm not ready to talk about it with my family, I've not even spoken to him yet. I'm so ashamed I don't want my family to know.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I think he's cheating
liliesinthesummer · 18/09/2020 15:45
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.