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To be utterly pissed off with partner

(38 Posts)
Muppet7410 Wed 26-Aug-20 16:46:31

It's my birthday today. Myself and my partner of 18 years have had our first childfree day since early March and been out for a lovely lunch. When we came home he gave me my birthday presents. They were complete shit - didn't even look at them because I was so annoyed. He built it up as if he had bought me some nice gifts but basically it was some cheap tat to wear in the bedroom and some sort of sex game. This is not the first time he's bought be this sort of gift. I'd buy it as a joke but not as an actual gift. Don't get me wrong i'm not expecting lavish expensive presents but for the one day a year when it's all about me what's wrong with buying me a bottle of perfume or some other generic birthday gift?! I'm fuming!!! And needed a rant!!!

OP’s posts: |
Lockdownseperation Wed 26-Aug-20 16:48:26

You are not been unreasonable. It sounds like those gifts are for him not for you.

Beachbodylonggone Wed 26-Aug-20 16:51:23

A friend of my dh's is a very rich man..
For his dw's big birthday she got a new Shark vacuum cleaner.....
Order yourself something great op.. And maybe a new patio design book.
Alibi always available here..

wobblywinelover Wed 26-Aug-20 16:56:45

god typical!! I'm trying to decide if that's worse than the crappy pair of slippers with bows one ex got me which were too small with the 'smellies' which would blow up my eczema! You rant away OP!

Itsjustabitofbanter Wed 26-Aug-20 16:56:55

That’s a long time to be with someone for them to not know you wouldn’t appreciate this. Have you ever told him you don’t like gifts like these?

Wearywithteens Wed 26-Aug-20 16:57:15

The last time he bought you stuff like this did you tell him how crass and tacky it was or did you do the usual female appeasement of politely thanking him and saying how funny it was?

Men are simple when it comes to communication. If you smiled and seemed happy last time it’s a repeatable experiment as far as he’s concerned.

It’s no good you ranting on MN! You need to tell him exactly why it’s inappropriate and why it’s hurt your feelings. Insist he goes out now to make it up to you. Only then he’ll get the message and you won’t end up with crap for your birthday.

PlanDeRaccordement Wed 26-Aug-20 16:57:20

Did he honestly think they were nice? Is he usually bad at buying presents? Context matters as some people no matter how hard they try are terrible at selecting gifts. That’s why the sayings go
“Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth”
“It’s the thought that counts”

Muppet7410 Wed 26-Aug-20 16:58:43

Tbh I'd have been far happier with a new vacuum cleaner!

It's his birthday in a few days and I've just tried to cancel his present but too late 😤

I didn't even get a f-ing card!

OP’s posts: |
RoadworksAgain Wed 26-Aug-20 17:02:21

My DH did this once, at Christmas, after I'd give birth to our child 2 months earlier - a tacky nylon crotchless underwear set from Ann Summers, a vibrator, and a sex board game.

I told him in no uncertain terms that these were clearly presents for him, not me, and if he ever bought me shit like that again he would be extracting the vibrator from deep inside one of his own orifices.

The whole lot went back and I bought myself a nice new dressing gown and some cashmere bed socks.

Windmillwhirl Wed 26-Aug-20 17:02:28

Sell his present on ebay and treat yourself.

That's just awful. Honestly you are together so long but it's as if hes made a beginner's mistake in gift choice.

Wherestheline Wed 26-Aug-20 17:05:32

Oh I’d be livid. Wrap them back up for him for his birthday.

DeRigueurMortis Wed 26-Aug-20 17:27:00


Oh I’d be livid. Wrap them back up for him for his birthday.

This and sell whatever you bought fir him any buy something nice for you with it.

EKGEMS Wed 26-Aug-20 17:33:54

What did you say about those horrible presents? No card?

dottiedodah Wed 26-Aug-20 17:36:12

RoadworksAgain Laughed out loud at your post! Hopefully hes learnt his lesson now .OP Seriously WTF is wrong with these Guys?Has he done this sort of thing prev? Tell him in future you will be choosing your own presents thanks very much! and go shopping with him for a new handbag/perfume/boots whatever! Maybe tell him you will be needing a refund and he can come out and buy you something of your choice !

PolloDePrimavera Wed 26-Aug-20 17:37:34

Beachbody 😂😂👌

RoseTintedAtuin Wed 26-Aug-20 17:40:26

Give him chocolates and wine for his birthday (save what you ordered for Christmas) and help him eat and drink them grin

pipandpoppy Wed 26-Aug-20 17:40:38

My ex bought his elderly granny a windscreen wiper for Xmas ! She didn't even own a car and I sat there, mortified whilst his entire family opened up all their presents in turn.

Thank god he is an ex.

BillysMyBunny Wed 26-Aug-20 17:40:42

If he thinks sexy lingerie and a sex game, things which make you more attractive to him, are a reasonable gift I would buy something like a vacuum cleaner for him, after all doing more domestic tasks will likely make him more attractive to you!

Twisique Wed 26-Aug-20 17:45:36

What did you order for him? Can you return it and buy him some cleaning stuff, dusters and a mop or something, or an elephant thong and some lynx?

FippertyGibbett Wed 26-Aug-20 18:02:24

Buy yourself something nice, then show him it and tell him you expect better next time.

madcatladyforever Wed 26-Aug-20 18:05:49

i hope you told him what shit they are and that you are absolutely FED UP. I'd have been furious. Is this a sly and nasty dig at your sex life.

category12 Wed 26-Aug-20 18:07:04

Did you tell him you didn't like it?

Passmethepopcorn Wed 26-Aug-20 18:07:49

I got hose pipe connectors, a hose pipe reel and sprinkler for one birthday - I wouldn’t mind but I’d already bought it all weeks beforehand for my garden and he knew that but gave me it anyway as he couldn’t be bothered to take it back. He also bought me a bracelet, the exact same one that is got for the previous Christmas from someone else - he also knew this too

heartache590 Wed 26-Aug-20 18:13:08

Give him a list. My own shameful list i gave to the ex:

- Smart lights
- A tshirt saying ask me about my ninja and when she lifted it up, it had a ninja face
- the lingerie pitfall (had to do a quick return and apology for that one!!)

Sometimes men run out of ideas and think they are being 'spontaneous' and need correcting as @RoadworksAgain put very well grin. It can feel like we are being boring getting perfume, clothes/accessories and household every year!

SoulofanAggron Wed 26-Aug-20 18:20:23

I would see him as a sexually manipulative wanker. I'm surprised he hasn't asked you whether you'll wear your 'presents' for his birthday (yet.)

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