I (24, f) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 4+ years. We have a very loving relationship, full of laughter.
Around this time last year, I found myself finding a guy in his football team attractive. These thoughts worried me and I panicked, so I opened up to him about it. Eventually we decided that it's normal to feel this way in a LTR and we worked through it.
However, our relationship begun to strain just before lockdown. A few things, such as his lack of spontaneity and laid-back attitude didn't help, but it was also mainly because we were no longer having sex and hadn't done for a good while. I didn't see him for the 7 weeks of full lockdown whilst we "had a break" to decide what we wanted.
I got talking to this football guy over text, definitely a silly thing to do. I realised that there was a lot of attraction and sexual chemistry there. However, he was partial to blowing hot and cold and I sort of gave up on the whole situation because he came across as a bit of a twat lol.
Fast towards and me and my boyfriend decided to give things another go and decided to rent a flat! It's been 6 weeks now and things have been lovely, lots of fun and really nice. But the sex hasn't come back yet.
I'm now finding myself thinking a lot about this other guy again, which is extremely frustrating because deep down he seems a bit emotionally immature and blows hot and cold, but I just can't get him off my mind.
I went to my boyfriend football game on Saturday and there was an after party. Me and this other guy ended up kissing for about 2 seconds before I pulled away and I've never ever regretted anything more. I have told my boyfriend and he was devastated, and we're both really unsure on what to do. I would hate for this guy to be the reason to end an amazing relationship with a lovely boyfriend because he's not a nice guy at all. Any advice?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
In a v messy situation
esssabelle95 · 11/08/2020 23:39
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