Hi, I thought I would come on here as I wasnt quite sure what to think of this situation myself and not sure what the best thing to do is when you like someone under these circumstances.
So I met this guy (lets call him Mark) in a pub back in early February this year, a month before lock down, he actually lived a few houses down from where my ex and I lived and we ended up chatting about how coincidental things were, given the fact I left my ex about 1.5 years ago and so did he.
I sold the house with my ex last year and was able to buy last November and loved this house ever since. I was lucky as may have been a different case this year. Unfortunately Mark still has to sell his house with the ex and get divorced too but he is definitely on the case with both just bad timing at the moment.
Now my friends are saying dont date a married men etc etc, but I see it as Mark has moved out of their home together (they dont have kids together either) he still pays the mortgage as she cant afford to and Mark is now living with one of their friends, rents out one of her rooms. who is female, I may add and she needed a lodger, she lives about 20mins away from myself.
So, Mark's so called house mate is 11 years older than him, went through a divorce 2 years ago and then found a new boyfriend she dated last year, who died which was awful, she is still grieving about him and is now thinking of dating his best mate, whilst dating someone else....!! ( I know I lost track too) She holds down a good job, studying therapy work but to me sounds like she is still unsure on where she is in life etc.
She was dating someone else in the last 2 months and this guy wasnt keen on my partner Mark, living in her room to rent, which is what I am feeling too at times with these two. Now Mark can moan about her, says she is huge in size (bit critical but I guess thats some men for you) and there is no way he would ever fancy her, but he can talk very highly about her other times, which is quite the opposite but I feel Mark living with her makes me feel uncomfortable. I dont think she is unattractive either. My worry is Mark is a very lovely guy, settling and she could grab him quite easily he is a good catch,well to me he is.
On the flip side of things, we get on great, once lockdown eases Mark has suggested going away, staying over and has asked us to become official now which is very sweet. I have no problems with how he treats me its all the other messy stuff going on around him that I am feeling chaotic about.
When Mark says he wants to stay over at mine to become close, after lockdown etc....as we have been seeing one another for say 3/4 months there is a strange part of me which is like erm no not too sure yet because of all the other stuff going on around him.
Would you be the same and still be wary.???
The house share with this lady, strangely concerns me too even though Mark says there is no way on earth he would fancy her it still bothers me he is living in a house with a woman etc....They watch films together at night in the same room as no other place for him to go and he hates being anti social and then there is dinner together, she buys one week he buys the other and the same with drink etc...He moved to hers in Feb this year too.
He never really says much but then says its her birthday next week he wants to get her something, I think he has known her several years before through friends etc.
But not sure why I cant feel settled with him, I think if he was divorced, house sold and didnt live with a female I would feel more secure, he knows I feel edgy about the divorce and the house but not this lady he lives with. She seems to be flitting from man to man, after her divorce 2 years ago and he says he can hear her slating her friends on the phone which surprised him as he thought she wasnt like that...(strange) and says he thinks its strange she wants to date her ex who died last year, his best friend...
So after speaking to him today I feel a tad uneasy again....
Not sure whether to say something to him or sit and wait it out as Mark reassures me we are great together...
thank you for reading...confused over here lol
xx
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Relationships
Would you be the same if you were in this situation?
McD45 · 08/05/2020 22:47
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